August 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Career Poll
After Kari and LER's posts on Friday's confessions, I've been thinking about careers, so, why not a poll.
1) Who is more career orriented, you or DH?
2) If you had to chose between advancing your career or DH's, what were the important factors in making the decision?
3) How has your career changed post-marriage? Is it what you expected?
4) How has your career changed post-kid(s), or how do you expect it to change?
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Re: Career Poll
1) Who is more career orriented, you or DH? Probably about the same, but we're a little farther along in our careers than most of you younger ladies are.
2) If you had to chose between advancing your career or DH's, what were the important factors in making the decision? The effect on eventual retirement. I wish I had thought more about retirement when I was in my 20s.
3) How has your career changed post-marriage? Is it what you expected? My career got better, because it was post-marriage (the first one) when I got my CPA license and MBA degree. My career got more secure and I became more sure it's what I wanted to do long-term.
4) How has your career changed post-kid(s), or how do you expect it to change? It didn't really change, but there were times when the priority of family first slowed the career a little bit. I don't consider it discrimination (because I've always been treated fairly and well), but having to leave the office early and not be available for overtime because of the demands of small children affects promotion choices and work evaluations in most companies.
1) Who is more career orriented, you or DH?
I guess me for now, but that's mainly because I happened to choose a path that got me out of school and working faster. With V approaching his defense, he's still feeling pretty lost right now, but things are starting to look up. He's decided to do that post-doc with my boss, and last night my boss told him that he has an actual project in mind for him.
2) If you had to chose between advancing your career or DH's, what were the important factors in making the decision?
When we found out that I'm pg, V had to decide whether to look for work in Toronto or elsewhere. In his field, there is virtually no research being done in Toronto anymore, so had he decided to pursue that, we would have had to move, and I'd have to quit my job. We decided that my job and benefits were too good to give up, so he started pursuing an alternative field that he was equally interested in.
3) How has your career changed post-marriage? Is it what you expected?
No significant change.
4) How has your career changed post-kid(s), or how do you expect it to change?
At this point I don't expect it to change much, but I wouldn't be surprised if I decide to become a SAHM mom down the road. I could teach piano or something to supplement our income if needed.
Baby #2: Surprise BFP 9.19.12, EDD 5.24.13, natural m/c 10.19.13 at 9w
1) Who is more career orriented, you or DH?
I think we're pretty equal, although this doesn't necessarily apply to my current career. He's more on track with what he wants to do, and although I still have some figuring out to do I'm quite passionate about finding what's right for me.
2) If you had to chose between advancing your career or DH's, what were the important factors in making the decision?
There are 2 things. 1, his career/education have given us the opportunities to travel, so if it's a choice between staying put for my job - which isn't really what I want to be doing - or moving abroad for his, it's a pretty easy choice. 2, his career is much more specialized, and he has invested more time and money into his education. That doesn't make it more important than mine, but we do have to consider the investment vs. reward, and the reward for him has a potential to be much higher as well.
3) How has your career changed post-marriage? Is it what you expected?
It has, but only because we moved abroad. If we stayed home it may have a bit because I finished my M.A. right before the wedding, but who knows? No change having to do with being married though.
4) How has your career changed post-kid(s), or how do you expect it to change?
I'm not really sure. I think it depends where I am in my career when kids are part of the picture, and what our financial situation requires of me. TBH, I'm not sure I have it in me to be a SAHM... I'm not sure it would really fulfill me. But I really have no idea at this point.
Now jumping domestically.
Well that was a crazy couple of years.
1) Who is more career orriented, you or DH? Definitely me.
2) If you had to chose between advancing your career or DH's, what were the important factors in making the decision? Opportunities for the other person. For us these decisions have often involved whether or not to move, so thinking about how this move would affect the other person is very important.
3) How has your career changed post-marriage? Is it what you expected? I don't think that it's changed in any way different than it would have if I was single. Yes, I've advanced my career, but this would have (I assume) happened regardless.
4) How has your career changed post-kid(s), or how do you expect it to change? We're not entirely sure if we want to have children at this point. If we do, I don't expect that children would change anything. I would prefer to work than to become a SAHM, so I wouldn't expect any significant changes.
1) Who is more career orriented, you or DH? I would say me. DH just graduated and isn't working. I have worked hard to get where I am today, and am continuing to be aggressive for career advancement.
2) If you had to chose between advancing your career or DH's, what were the important factors in making the decision? It would depend on time committment, money, and what type of position it would be. We would also look at benefits.
3) How has your career changed post-marriage? Is it what you expected? Mine hasn't changed to much. I am still currently in the same position.
4) How has your career changed post-kid(s), or how do you expect it to change? The only thing that has changed since having the boys is I am not 100% checked back in. If that makes sense? I used to be one of the top performers in my job, but now I am probably in the middle. This will be the first year I will not be getting a Strong on my annual review in the 10 years I have worked there. I am already anticipating a Solid. I am ok with it, but am now working hard to get my career back in check.
1) Who is more career orriented, you or DH? I'd say we both are.
2) If you had to chose between advancing your career or DH's, what were the important factors in making the decision? We haven't had to up until now, if we did it would depend on the impact it would have on our family and lots of other things.
3) How has your career changed post-marriage? Is it what you expected? My career hasn't changed much.
4) How has your career changed post-kid(s), or how do you expect it to change? I think it will motivate me to continue to move up and earn more, but I know with that may also come longer hours and days and I want to balance that with home life as well.
1) Who is more career orriented, you or DH? I think I'm more dedicated to my profession, but DH is more focused on "getting ahead..." in his career.
2) If you had to chose between advancing your career or DH's, what were the important factors in making the decision? Well, DH makes more money, but I think we are both on board with me going back for my doctorate at some point--which will eventually mean we'll need to make choices around where I could get a position after I finish.
3) How has your career changed post-marriage? Is it what you expected? My career hasn't changed at all post-marriage. DH has changed jobs though (same field) and is much happier!
4) How has your career changed post-kid(s), or how do you expect it to change? I may take some time off after we have kids, but we would have to see how it works out financially.
BFP 5/2/11, missed m/c, D&C 6/13/11
BFP 12/8/11--Little Girl E Born 8/22/12
Oops, I forgot to answer my own poll. Go figure.
1) Who is more career orriented, you or DH? Probably me, but I think that comes from choosing jobs where I like the people in addition what I'm doing. DH has had a number of different jobs in different but related fields, and he hasn't had one where he really melded with his colleagues and the company.
2) If you had to chose between advancing your career or DH's, what were the important factors in making the decision? Fortunately, we haven't had to choose, but I think we would base the decision on where we were financially, the impact of the change to the other person's career, and what we thought the benefits would be. B and I have talked about moving abroad, but neither one of us has really had the opportunity come up.
3) How has your career changed post-marriage? Is it what you expected? My career overall is pretty much on the same track, although I was unemployed at the time we got married. I'm on my third job since then (this one is a keeper, finally), and I've pretty much picked up where I left off.
4) How has your career changed post-kid(s), or how do you expect it to change? I don't expect it will change too much once we have kids (awhile away still). I definitely don't see myself being a SAHM. It would be awesome if B and I could each work 4 days a week so that one of us would have Mondays off and the other would have Fridays off, but I don't really know how realistic that is.
1) Who is more career orriented, you or DH?
We are both equally career oriented.
2) If you had to chose between advancing your career or DH's, what were the important factors in making the decision?
We haven't had to make this decision and I'm not sure that we would ever had to worry about 'advancing' for DH's careeer. He is a highschool teacher and has no desire to be a VP or anything like so I don't see it being an issue. The worst thing that can happen with his career is if the enrolment is down at his school, he won't be needed but he has enough seniority that he would bump someone from another school in the same district.
3) How has your career changed post-marriage? Is it what you expected?
My career has changed significantly since we got married and I think partly due to the security of having a second income. If we weren't married, I wouldn't have the ability to just give up my full time job for temporary part time with no real promise that it will lead to anything. We decided that I wasn't happy where I was and it was a sacrifice we were willing to make.
4) How has your career changed post-kid(s), or how do you expect it to change?
No kids yet but I see myself working part time hours after kids.