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WR question
how would you feel if you were invited to a wedding reception *only* of a family member, and the ceremony is only for immediate family earlier in the day? i.e., you're not invited. would this bother you? more details: you see the person a lot at family functions so you're not like distant family they've never met, but you're not close enough that you call them on the phone and hang out with them by yourself. the immediate family ceremony will be 20 people: parents, siblings, bride and groom, maybe a very close friend or two. the reception is 150 and a lot of that number will be family because both bride and groom have mega families.
another family member and i have very strong viewpoints about this and our opinions are 180 degrees different. i'm trying to understand the other side. one side is: "who cares, whatever the bride wants to do is fine" and the other side is "why are you going to have a wedding if you're not inviting everyone?"
Re: WR question
I only have 1 example of this. My cousin got married this year. She got married in a church that her grandma (on her mom's side) had attended for years. The church was very tiny, and couldn't hold that many people. So only parents, grandparents, siblings aunts/uncles and first cousins were invited to the ceremony. For the most part this wasn't an issue for my extended family. They were more insulted that they didn't get invited to the bridal shower.
I would be on the side of who cares. Unless someone that was my equal in relationship was invited and I was excluded.
My Profile
I've had 2 friends do that. Both had a "small" ceremony with family and a few friends, then a reception with more people. I was a bit bothered that I was't invited to the ceremony. It seems better than only being invited for the ceremony though; at least you get fed?
My thoughts exactly!
I would be torn probably, like you. I can see both sides...I guess it depends on her reasoning.
This, exactly. Here in Utah that is so standard that people don't even think twice. And most receptions are very large open house style things, with buffet food or often just buffet desserts.
these are my sentiments, exactly. when she said "i guess i'm old fashioned" my response was actually i think this has been happening since the beginning of time (i.e., elopements, etc.) when i told her that the bride doesn't like being the center of attention she was "well why have a wedding at all!!!" she's really over the top about this.
My initial thought exactly. Brides typically get upset when people only show up to the reception and not the ceremony.
I think I'd still go, b/c that's the set-up that she wants but it does seem a little "out there" to me.
My personal deal: I wouldn't care.
That said, I guess I can understand how someone would consider the ceremony the most "important" part and feel kind of slighted to be excluded. Sort of like, you're ok to 'come to the party and bring me a present' but not really a part of my "inner circle". IDK, I'm probably not doing a super job articulating it, b/c it's not my personal POV, but I think that's probably where your relative is coming from.
i think this is exactly how she feels - excluded. but i just keep going back to the JOP or eloping example.