Oklahoma Nesties
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
UO Thursday
Mine: I don't want snow days off. I want my days in February and April when we don't get any days off. We just got back. We don't need a day off. I understand we don't want students driving because they aren't the best at making good judgments when driving, but still...I would like to actually get to enjoy a spring day off for once!
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Re: UO Thursday
At this very moment I am glad we are off today (my kids were driving me a little nuts the past couple days!) But I know I will be b!tching about it come May when we have to make up the day
Plus, we were already off this week for MLK so it was a short week to begin with. Oh well, I guess I will get my house clean today 
I was off anyway for a convention, so I have to drive in it, regardless of the school closing. Yes, the kids get a little antsy in the winter, but they are far worse (at least the teenagers are, especially seniors) once late April/early May roll around, with all the testing, finals, graduation, etc.
Uh...I need to get this out and don't want to start a new post. I've already been a PW today.
H told me last night he definitely wants another child. (We've been on the fence).
I really don't care to have another.
I do not want him to resent me later on in life whenever we only have B and he wishes there were another one. I feel like he should have an equal say and get the chance to have what he's wanted.
When we got married we had agreed that we would have two kids.
I had PPD pretty bad. H, myself, and my mother were pretty much miserable until B was about 15 months old. (b/c of ME) This is the primary reason I am terrified to have another. H agrees he's scared that I will have it again too, which is why he hasn't pushed me to get on maternity insurance.
I feel selfish because I knew H wanted the kids somewhat close together and I have avoided doing it at all costs because I'm not ready.
He is not putting pressure on me. Says he'd be okay if we just had B. But ultimately would be sad that there wasn't more family in the end. Said he'd be okay with adopting/fostering if we had trouble getting pregnant. But really would like a child of his own if we are able to conceive ourselves.
That is pretty scary stuff. I can see why you feel the way you do.
Boymom - You agreed to 2 kids BEFORE you had B or the PPD, so I'm sure your H understands that (which I know he does and you said he does). I don't know much about PPD, but are there things you could do this time around to help avoid it or minimalize it? Is it like, once you've had it you're definitely going to have it again with each additional child?
(((hugs))) I know it's a hard decision for you guys to make.
Did you seek any therapy/medication for your PPD? After having dealt with depression before, it makes me worry that I would also suffer from this, though I don't know if the two are even related. Have you talked to a doctor about the possibility of it happening again?
((hugs))
The chances are more in favor of me having it again. I would recognize the feelings/symptoms much earlier this time and get on medication more quickly. But I felt like a zombie on them, and it didn't help me bond with B. I'm bonded now, so I know it would only be temporary if it did happen, but I just don't want to be a crappy mom to B when he'll be four-five years old and really know what's going on.
I think I would be excited if we got pregnant. But very scared. I've got a year to think about it even if we get on maternity now since we have to add it to the policy and wait. But even adding it is making me cringe.
I feel the same way.
Yes, medication. I didn't want to see a therapist. Family and I have a history of depression, so I figured I would have a chance of getting it. The doctor I saw said there's more of a chance I'd have it again. Or I may not at all. It's kind of up in the air, I guess.
Boymom, I am sorry - that is a scary decision given your past experience.
Reading your post made me think of how the fine ladies on TIP would respond..I bet they would tell your husband to divorce you since you AGREED to have TWO CHILDREN BEFORE you were married. Because, you know, no matter what, one is not allowed to change their minds EVER. (Sorry, I was lurking on there last night and the extreme-ness of those ladies really get to me)
Haha...someone should post my exact post on here on TIP to see what they'd say. I'd love to know if they'd really be like that. You're right, they're VERY extreme.
BoyMom - I know it's a hard choice to make. I had PPD pretty bad the first few months JJ was around and was pretty detached, too. I'm scared it'll happen again and that I'll be a crappy mom, too. I hope you guys make the best decision for you. *hugs*
I'm not happy we're here today - I think OSU should've closed because the roads are so crappy. And I dropped off a screaming child at daycare because he thought we were staying home and didn't recognize anyone in his room. And the new ladies in his new room were no help at all this morning, which irritated the snot out of me. At least it's slow at work so I can catch up.
I don't think apartment complexes should put a whole list of restrictions in place if they're not going to follow them. Example: they started allowing pets this past summer and put a rule in place last week that if your dog craps and you don't pick up after him/her, they'll fine you $20. Yet, management is never around to catch such things. Follow through what you put in place if you're going to make us follow them.
Boymom - that's tough.
I wouldn't know what to do or where to turn in that situation.
The snow makes me stir-crazy. I can't sit at home when there is snow and ice on the road... I have to go somewhere. For instance, I'm fixing to run to town just to go deposit a check in the bank... just because I can - not because I need to. For instance, last year (maybe the year before?) it snowed like 6 inches during the day, so my mom and I (my mom is the same way) decided that we needed to go out and eat for supper. So, we did.
Ask your board to determine the school day by minutes not days. Then, you don't have to make up missed days because the minutes will even out your actual school year. The schools aren't worried about students driving. Sad but true. They're worried about buses not being able to stay on the road.
I'm sorry! Hugs. Lots of hugs and a few drinks mixed in too. I think you are being really hard on yourself. It's not like you made the choice to be a crappy mom. You had an imbalance, something you couldn't control.
Would you be open to surrogacy? Is ppd the only thing holding you back?
We were out 6 days and didn't have to make them up. My first year we had a horrible snow storm come through around 8 in the morning. Most of the students who were there, got checked out. So many were absent that the day didn't count. It sucked. At the end of the day there were 3 teachers left with 40 kids.
I think I have told you this before, but I have a girlfriend who had serious PPD after her first. She was really scared about having a second too, but she took some fish oil pills and did some other stuff that is supposed to help and she said it really did.
With that said though, I think you are allowed to change your mind about stuff like that. I think it would be different if you always knew you only wanted one kid but told T that you wanted 2 just to make him happy at the time. I also don't think you should feel like you have to have another child in order to hold up your end or anything.
It is a really tough situation and I know it is not an easy choice to make.