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4ever Young
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
NFP? Need advice & support...
I have been married for almost 6 months now, and my husband and I are thinking about getting off of BCP and trying out natural family planning. I feel like I have been on BCP for a really long time now and have been so use to them that it makes me nervous to make this change. I decided that May would be a good month to start this because my husband and I will be more settled down, and just incase NFP fails, we would be ok to have a baby.
I guess what I would like to know is; what does everyone think of this method? Is it accurate? Is it pretty safe as long as you do it right? Any other hints we should know?
Any feedback/information you have on this is greatly appreciated! Thank you!!!
Re: NFP? Need advice & support...
What do I think? I love it. It feels amazing to be myself again. DH had his doubts at first, I won't lie. Once he read the book (see below), he felt a lot better about it. A lot of his fear was based on not really understanding the female reproductive system in its entirety. When he got a solid grasp of that, it made more sense to him.
Is it accurate? Like any other form of BC, it's as accurate as you make it. You have to be diligent about knowing your body and taking your temps because when you do mess up, you're in your fertile window.
Is it safe if performed correctly? We have found it to be.
Other hints? Read Taking Charge of Your Fertility first. Coming off the pill, your body might take a few months to get back into the swing of things. Use those as practice sessions for charting and as a way to get used to the routine of it, but I wouldn't rely on NFP during that process. I'd also give yourself a few practice months once your body is back to its own rhythm, too.
I agree with the previous poster. I LOVE fertility awareness and it definitely works. I have been using it for almost 4 years (that's 45 cycles!) and I've never had the slightest problem. I have never been on hormonal birth control and I NEVER want kids. So clearly it works if you follow the rules. But that's the key - FOLLOWING the rules and NEVER cheating. Since DH and I are extremely opposed to kids and an "oops" is not an option, we follow the rules as strictly as possible. That means we never go unprotected before the fertile time, abstain completely during the fertile time, and only go unprotected once I have raised temps and complete dry up of cervical fluid for 4 consecutive days. We never deviate from this pattern regardless of vacations, birthdays, holidays etc. Now obviously that's a very strict interpretation of the rules, but that's what works for us. I know many women who just use a barrier method during the fertile time with no problem. What's great about FAM is that it's totally up to you. It's very empowering. In fact, I am so extremely paranoid about avoiding pregnancy that I don't think I could trust a pill or an IUD. I like knowing for sure what's happening with my body at all times.
You are sure to get the "oh my friend / sister / mother / cousin / co-worker used that and got pregnant. I can guarantee you that if that is the case they either were not following the rules, following the rules loosely and taking a "calculated risk", or just didn't know what they were doing. For example there's a FAM board I read and right now there's a woman on there who just got pregnant because she had sex knowing she was probably going to ovulate that day. Her husband "forgot to pull out" because he had had his wisdom teeth out several days earlier and said the Vicodin "made him forget". To me this is unfathomable. When I know I am ovulating (and it's REALLY obvious once you know the signs to look for) there's NO WAY I would ever let that happen. That was a conscious choice she made - that was not the method failing.
Definitely check out Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It will teach you tons about your body. And I agree to use barriers for several cycles while your body adjusts to being off BC and while you're learning. The book recommends 3 but it's up to you. It took me about 7 months to feel comfortable going unprotected after ovulation. Just go with whatever you are comfortable with.
Best of luck!
FAM is great for people who are detail oriented, especially if you do NOT want to get pregnant. I had to get off BC for medical reasons and we used FAM. I really enjoyed the method to it- taking temps at consistent time, charting cervical fluid, learning the subtle cues of ovulation. It is VERY accurate if you are really, really careful and pay close attention to the rules. I highly recommend that you order Taking Charge of Your fertility and actually read it
Also, tcoyf.com makes it really easy to keep track of everything, and there are message boards there as well with people who can provide additional support in learning to interpret your chart.
Also, it took me like 5 months to get a semi-regular period, so you'll want a back up method while you first start charting (but start charting right away) and waiting for your cycle to normalize.
Remember- the success is in the details. It's actually fun and empowering to know how your body works
Ok. This is just ridiculous. You can use FAM/NFP if you're irregular, it's just a little more involved.
And I am seriously side-eyeing the bold part. Unless there's some family history, I really wouldn't worry about horrible genetic diseases at this point in the game.
my friends must be misinformed. I will let them know. As Catholics we are "supposed to" use NFP so maybe they just don't want to. Sorry I mentioned anything.
And the only reason I say speak to a doctor is from personal experience. I just figure when it comes to this stuff, asking a doctor and investigating trumps googleing.
This is completely untrue.
My husband and I use FAM- we use condoms during fertile times. We like it. We've been using it since the birth of our son (so nearly three years) with no accidents. Make sure you know what you're doing and when in doubt, err on the side of caution. There was one month in particular when I couldn't see a clear ovulation shift (it may have been an inovulatory month) so we used condoms the entire month, just to be sure.
Ditto about the side-eyeing. "Capable of having kids" and the likelihood of having a child with an inheritable genetic condition are two completely different things. Of course a couple with a family history of cystic fibrosis (for example) should go to genetic counseling to discuss possible decisions and implications. In many cases you can't "find out" prior to conception whether your child will inherit a certain condition - you can only estimate the possibility.
Thank you all for the info! My hubby and I discussed it and we are definitely going for it! : ) I ordered the book you suggested and we are going to read it together! I'm actually very excited about it now!