Sex & Romance
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I don't know how to spice things up!

Hello everyone!! I need your help. FI and I have been together a little over 2 1/2 years. Recently our sex life is like blah. We use to use toys all the time, watch porn (mostly when we were drinking) and have anal sex ( which hasn't happened in probably 7 months!!) I've only been with him and another guy. I don't know how to spice things up! If he doesn't start sex, then we don't have it. I want to be sexy for him, I want to start sex! I'm just like nervous?! and don't know how too! Can anyone give me any tips? I'm so nervous about wearing like lingerie because I never have AND he once told me he would rather me dress up "like a little girl (pig tails, blah blah) then have me wear lingerie and that has just stuck in my head forever! I just have a huge problem with being sexy because I don't want to feel stupid. Does anyone have any tips for me?? Please help! 

Re: I don't know how to spice things up!

  • Do you have the desire to initiate sex? I went through a period where I kind of lost my mojo, so I know how that is. But if you are just unsure of how to start things, that's prob easier to solve.

     I know when my husband and I feel like we need things spiced up, he always suggests a trip to the adult store. It allows us to walk around together, talk about what we are interested in and gets sex on the brain. Sometimes we get home and have sex...sans the new toys! Ha. So that's one idea.

    Hey, if pig tails and whatnot gets him going, I say do it. Everyone has their own fantasies. But if you are uncomfortable doing that...Do go buy some new lingerie. Maybe something unlike anything you've ever worn for him before! I don't know for sure...but I think it's pretty hard for a man to resist the woman he loves in lingerie (even if he had something else in mind!). Maybe you could also try having sex in places you aren't having it,,,like the backyard ;)

     I just picked up this book that I liked from the porn store called Tickle His Pickle. It gave some good tips on how to do foreplay things with different techniques. (Trust me...my husband LOVED his BJ that night!)'

    Good luck! :)

  • I would also have problems wanting to feel sexy for someone who wanted me to dress up like a little girl.... I am not a judgmental person, but that is just creepy. 

     

  • For our one year anniversary I got all dressed up in this little number and pranced out to find him.  I tried to do this "sexy dance" like you see in all the movies but it ended up being hysterical.  He couldn't stop laughing at how ungraceful I am/was.  I find it much easier just to have him come home and I'm cooking (per usual) with a little number on, or maybe just his team's jersey if the game is on that night.  Kinda puts my intentions right out there.

    Also, we have talked about buying a silly romance novel, but have yet to follow through.  I think that it could be a major turn on 1: listening to him read and 2: listening to him read the sex parts

  • My DH and I go through periods where one or the other does most of the initiating.  I, too, found it embarrassing to wear lingerie or do sexy dances for him when I wanted to initiate.  But, what I quickly learned is that men tend to like anything new or out of the ordinary.  After I debut a new set of lingerie or initiate something we haven't done, we go through a "hot and heavy" period.  Even if your FI says he would prefer you to wear a schoolgirl outfit, I guarantee you he wouldn't complain if you debuted a new set of lingerie!  As long as you're wearing something you're confident in, it will show and he'll love it! We've also gone the other way, with him initiating with a sexy dance (he is NOT a good dancer) so we end up laughing and doing it anyway.  Anything that's new and different is bound to spice it up a bit. 
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