West Coast Florida Nesties
mrs.jenRN
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: FFFC!
Today someone asked me if I was expecting twins. I am in an awful mood, so I gave her a dirty look and said kinda rudely "No, and I still have 5 more weeks, thanks."
Part of me felt bad (the part of me that is my usual self) but part of me really didn't.
WTF is wrong with people? Don't feel bad at all for the answer you gave her.
My confession is that I'm getting anxious about moving overseas and the idea of sending DH on the one unaccompanied post on his bid list is looking more and more attractive. I won't do it, but I'm tempted.
Oh thanks Jen, I need this!! WARNING this is long!
My MIL moved down here to take care of the twins, which I am so grateful. Although, we will and have been helping her out financially for a while now. So really, it is a win-win situation. She wasn't able to find a place to rent, so she is living with us. Once again this is both good and evil. My H and his mom have a love-hate relationship, one minute they are laughing together the next minute they are at each other's throats. It is the most stressful environment I have ever lived in. I really hope we all get our own space soon.
I have told MIL since DAY ONE that the babies NEED to be on a schedule. She disagreed and said I feed them too much and I am too rigid. I had the babies on a great flexible schedule and they were STTN before I went back to work. They have not STTN since the first day she arrived. I am beyond sleep-deprived with working full time and taking care of two babies at night. She is now very upset that they have no schedule and cat-nap all day. HMMM...maybe what I was telling her had some truth to it. She came to me last night looking for answers. I told her that if she got them back onto a schedule it would help,. I felt like screaming at her! My frustration level is at its max.
My H works in Tampa and is gone 12 hours a day which does not help anything. I know he works hard and has a super long drive but I just wish he could be around more and able to help me a little bit more. Two working parents, 3 kids almost under 2, a house that needs to be cleaned, and dinners that need to be made is just way more than I can handle. I was at my boiling point this morning and told H to arrange sitters this weekend because I was not coming home from work. I do mean it, but I know it isn't best for the kids and that is what keeps me hanging on.
I just feel so done with being a mommy sometimes. I know the old saying "God only give you what you can handle" but lately I am not sure there is any truth to that. This is the biggest challenge/test I have ever experienced in my life and I think I am failing miserably.
If you are still reading...THANKS for listening.
I have eaten cheese twice since I have been pregnant. I feel like crap afterwards, but it just felt right.
Also, I don't think my body was ever meant to be pregnant. I am struggling emotionally and it is really taking a toll on me. I find myself depressed a lot and I have no idea what is going on. I love my babies, but maybe the hormones are just too much or something. I cry a lot more than I usually do. FI doesn't understand and I feel like he is acting out or doing things on purpose to make me upset. We have been fighting a lot lately.
My mother keeps telling me that I am supposed to be happy and feel good, especially in the second tri., but I feel more miserable than ever. I just want it to stop.
I feel bad for feeling the way that I do about this.
MrsMommyLo, I wish I could give you a great big hug! You are NOT failing miserably, you are just juggling a lot of things right now. MH also has a very tense relationship with his mom so I can sort of imagine the type of environment you are living in right now and how stressful it must be! Remember that this is the toughest part when kids are really tiny like this, but this stage really is temporary! You will get through it!
Do you think your MIL will be able to afford to live on her own anytime soon? Can you guys afford to hire someone to come in a couple of times a month to help clean the house to lighten your load a litte? I hope that things gets better soon and you guys are able to find a better balance.
ha! I wish I could send my DH away too.
Oh my gosh Aja, I feel for you! Like you, I feel that having babies (especially twins)on a schedule is soooo important! I hope you can get that back on something signifying a schedule and that they start to STTN again!
I don't have any words of wisdom. Just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed right now.
DX: 6/9/2011: Azoo ICSI/IVF only option for biological child
IVF #1: ER - 9/26 * ET - 10/1 * beta#1 10/13 - 140 * beta#2 10/17 - 477 * beta#3 10/20 - 1101
1st u/s at 6w6d - one hb * 2nd u/s at 8w3d - no hb detected 11/10/11 * natural m/c 11/13/11
FET #1 Jan/Feb 2012 - 3 delays - cancelled 2/13
FET #1.2 - May/June 2012 - ET 6/6/* beta#1 6/15 - 95 * beta #2 6/19 - 322 * beta #3 6/22 - 940
7/6 1st u/s @ 7 weeks - one beautiful hb - released from RE
EDD 2/22/2013
PAIF/SAIF/PGAL welcome
I'm sorry Jen! Hang in there!
Haha, when I suggested that we rank the unaccompanied tour as a "mid" preference, I think DH's feelings were hurt. I don't want to get rid of him, but the idea of being able to stay at my job for two more years and save a lot of money while State helps pay for our housing and living expenses doesn't sound too bad. Military families do it and we'd have it even easier b/c he'd get 4 R&Rs during the two year tour to come home. He's not willing to consider missing out on two years of the kids growing up though and I guess I can't blame him.
Ms.MommyLo, I only have one child, but I know how overwhelming things get when you're unprepared, not on a routine and the chaos spins out of control. Do it Supernanny style and give your MIL a posterboard with a schedule - naps and feedings at certain times, snacks, too.
And maybe in her down time, your MIL can help out by baking 2-3 lasagnas to freeze, shaping up 10-20 hamburger patties to freeze, or whatever else is just time consuming. Maybe she can sort the laundry, restock the changing station or start a list of basics for your grocery list.
Amellis, don't get too down. Being pregnant isn't easy and you're allowed to feel all of those feelings. You aren't supposed to be happy and bubbly and overjoyed - you're supposed to feel everything and BE YOU. So if you're down, that's okay. The thought of two babies at once is daunting and if anyone tells you otherwise, they're straight-up-now-crazy. If you need anything - support, help, meals, laughs, or hand-me-downs, let me know.
((HUGS)) I was the most miserable pregnant woman that ever lived. I hated being pregnant both times. I am so thankful I never have to be pregnant again. A twin pregnancy is soooo hard on your body. The multiples board on the bump is a great resource. All of the women on there are so helpful and understanding. I hope that you can feel better soon. I don't think most people can't understand a multiples pregnancy until you have experienced it. It is so different from a singleton. Feel free to PM me. We can exchange emails and you can complain to me anytime you want!!!
Thank you. I can't PM today, but I might send you one later. The big boss is making a visit here today, so I shouldn't be posting. I'm glad that someone knows how I feel.
Aja - I'm sorry. That's all I got plus an ear for listening. You're dealing with some really tricky stuff, and being sleep deprived never helps anything.
Amellis - Please do bring this up with your OB/GYN. If you're prone to depression, then pregnancy is going to bring that out in you, this is what my doctor told me. There's no way that you're "supposed" to feel, especially emotionally. I honestly don't think I started to actually feel happy about my pregnancy until about 4 or 5 months. I feel terrible for admitting that because there's so much shame in the idea that you might feel something OTHER than happy during your pregnancy. But alas, you are just a human who has real, honest feelings, y'know? But do talk to your doctor because she can help suggest ways to fend off depression, and she (or he, sorry), can help you be aware of the possibility of PPD. If you find yourself there, know that you aren't alone, it's pretty common, and FWIW, I was there, too. It was awful, and I had some really dark moments, but I'm thankful every day that I got the help I needed.
I think what your mom is trying to say is that your second tri is generally much better than first. You start to feel better phsyically, which generally leads to feeling better emotionally. But it is totally normal to feel scared, sad, and overwhelmed at some point, and I cannot even fathom how it would feel with multiples.
My silly Lily is almost 4.
I might make Eggplant Parmesean for dinner sometime this weekend to put me into labor. I am so nervous to be induced. I know it sounds lame, but this website is really convincing: http://www.scalinis.com/eggplant_parmigiana_babies.htm.
I know it is just a legend but what if it works? I am just done being pregnant!
Jen -- Some people are so rude! When I get asked that I always want to say no to make the person feel bad! Haha.
Aja- I am so sorry!! I hope you and your MIL can work it out. Nicole had good suggestions!!
Amelis- I went through the same thing. H and I could not wait to be PG, and then we were blessed with twins! I felt extrememly guilty for wanting babies and then hating being pregnant. Your body is going through so much right now, I feel for you! Once I was crying uncontrollably and H asked me if I was going to be "one of those women who are depressed after they give birth." I thought I was going to kill him.