April 2010 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
desperate or a great gf?
Ok i have to share. My secretary has a long history of bad relationships and has been with her current boyfriend for a while, though I know it's been a pretty dramatic relationship to say the least.
I just heard her say (when talking about how tired she is): "But I have to get up at 4:30 with him so I can pack his lunch and iron his uniforms."
Sorry but to me this is ridiculous - dude can make his own lunch and iron if he has to leave before the sun comes up!!! Am I just mean, or is she a little nuts here?
Re: desperate or a great gf?
Well...I make lunch for DH daily...he is totally able to make his own lunch but I like to do it and I put in snacks/treats....
That being said he irons his own clothes because I don't even iron MY clothes. AND if he had to get up at 430am I'd probably make his lunch the night before or just not do it...cause I'm NOT a morning person.
Yeah i guess that's the point -- DH and I take turns making each other's lunches just depending on who is in more of a hurry in the morning. If i have a day off that he doesn't or he has a meeting to get to I'll always make breakfast and pack lunch.
But to get up at 4:30 a.m. when you would otherwise sleep until 7 just seems crazy. Also it's because I know their situation and that he treats her like crap, yet she'll do anything to keep him around makes it even sadder.
Sounds like she is desperate! I wouldn't get up that early unless I absolutely had to.
Hopefully she "wakes" up and sees what kind of relationship she is in and leaves!
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Well that I agree with. I may wake up and make his lunch and pack his breakfast....but DH has been getting up an hour early to shovel the driveway and uncover my car and take care of snow removal. And in return I leave and take him to the train station so he doesn't have to walk (we have 1 car) it has to be give and take and from what you say its not which is really sad.
That definitely sounds desperate. I would totally make DH's lunch if he took one, but only because we are up at the same time. I wouldn't get up 2 1/2 hours early just to do it, that's ridiculous.
It sounds like she is acting like his mother. He's a big boy and he should be able to pack a lunch and iron his own clothes. Maybe he's told her it's her job or something so that's why she feels an obligation to do it.
Whatever the case, that sounds like bad relationship. It's never good when one person is so dependent on the other and it rarely ends well.
My best friend is a LOT like the girl you are describing. I can't STAND her boyfriend. After never telling her how I felt about her ex-fiance, and watching her suffer through that break-up, I will never again not be honest with how I feel about the guys she dates. So, she knows that I can't stand this one! She is a vegetarian (but still eats seafood), but she makes his "w/ meat" supper every single night, and he never thanks her for it. She made him cheese ravioli one night so she could eat what she was making, and he was a total prick about it. Always telling her that he is better looking that she is, so she should feel "lucky" that he is with her (see her picture below...)
Chelsy & I at the bar before the reception (ha ha)
I hate guys that want a trophy wife and someone to replace their mommy.
That said, occasionally, I will remember to get up and make Jeff's lunch, or do it the night before, but he would never EXPECT me to get up and do all of that! Especially if I had a job outside of the home, as well.
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And yes, it does smack of a little desperation, not that there's anything at all wrong with getting up to make his breakfast or iron his uni's...the thing is, both can be done the evening before. H likes to take his lunch to to work and he usually takes leftovers, so he'll pack it the night before (or I will). And she could also iron in the evening...so no, she doesn't "have" to get up at that time...she "wants" to.
Which is fine, but just call it what it is!
I say desperate. When I was working, I would usually make H's lunch in the mornings only because I was making mine too. I didn't see the big deal in making 1 vs 2 lunches and I kinda felt like it was my responsibility. Now that I am not working, H makes his own lunches every day. I am doing good to be up by the time he leaves.
I agree with PP, that it's not a matter of "have to" it's more of a "want to". She needs to lose this guy if he treats her so badly.
Given the fact that she doesn't "have" to get up early to do these things for him (does she sponge bathe him too?) then I think it's desperate.
I mean, we do things like this for each other all the time, and even if I'm off from work, I'll sometimes wake up early, even tho I don't have to, to put on the coffee when he's in the shower, but it's because I want to (and then I relax on the couch with the morning news and my cuppa joe - big deal). But it's not because I feel like I "have" to. And so when hubby cleans my snow-covered car for me and shovels the driveway so we could leave for work, I feel like we're even. So if this girl's lame BF doesn't reciprocate, then she's going to resent him, but do it anyway. Weird.
Well, I usually try not to judge how other couples divide their chores. If it's a case where the woman does most of the work but both members of the couple prefer it that way - so be it, that's their business. But 4:30 in the morning? No effing way.
DH gets up at 5:45 am to "go" to work (in the spare bedroom... ha). If he tried to get me to make coffee for him or something when he gets up I would just laugh at him. He's actually really considerate about being quiet and not waking me up.
So, yeah, my vote is for desperate doormat.
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Ditto this!!
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My DH leaves for work at 4:30 in the morning, and trust me it is better for him that I don't get up iron his clothes! But seriously if I ever make his lunch I make it at night and put it in the refrigerator for him to get in the morning, and on a very rare occasion I've been known to get up and make him breakfast...but that is usually when I get to go back to bed when he leaves. I think she sounds desperate to keep him around, she needs to find a guy who would do the same for her if she got up at 4:30 for work.