Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
bringing romance back
Hey ... I've just been married a year and I have lost my sex drive as well as I'm lacking in the romance area. I'm looking for ideas to help bring the romance back to the forefront of my marriage!!
Thanks in advance...
Re: bringing romance back
Marriage isn't 100% about romance but you might try these:
Jump into the shower with him or you head for the shower and you invite him along
Set up a nice bath for the 2 of you and invite him in
BC might be a cause of your lack of sex drive as well as certain health problems. If you've checked up and all is fine, you might look into alternative birth control methods other than a hormonally-based BC.
Your doctor has seen the inside of your vagina, why on earth would you be embarrassed to tell them you have a low libido?
I'll give you the advice my doctor gave me when I spoke to her becasue I just want "into" having sex.
My lack of a sexdrive was due to my birth control but when I spoke to my doctor her advice was to just have sex, even if you aren't in the mood just relax and go with it. It may feel as though its forced in the begining but once you clear your mind and enjoy iy, it won't seem forced.
I took my doctors advice and it honestly helped and worked. Eventually I got some of my sexdrive back. It wasn't till I went off the pill that I got it back 100%.
But maybe a visit to your doctor would be a good idea!
Hope this helps and good luck
Well then call the OBGYN, or make an apt. I work in a family practice office and we get this question ALOT. Believe me, your doctor, nurse, etc wants to give you good advice, not judge your lack of sex drive. If you aren't comfortable talking with either your OBGYN or family doctor, it may be best to find a new doctor that you are comfortable speaking about these intimate things with. Believe me, doctors have heard and have seen ALOT worse. This could be a hormone imbalance, etc so not mentioning it to your doctor may be doing more harm than good. What if you have a treatable condition like a thyroid disorder? Or, maybe just to get some encouragement from a neutral, outside source (the doc) can be eye opening to you...
GL!
Go and talk to your gyne. They should be able to help you. Could be stress, hormones a number of things.
If all else fails. . . porn!
i've been married almost 16 years, and sigh to hear this. i'm sorry you're going thru it.
first, be sure, if you haven't already, that there is no physical basis for lack of desire. check yourself out with your doctor.
if you've already done that? forgive me, there's more to this than sex. there always is. sex is like alcohol. alcoholics become so to mask other issues. at the root of alcoholism are the real issues.
figure out what your real issues are here. communication--honest communication--especially with yourself--is crucial. boredom in the bedroom signifies stress or boredom somewhere else.
now, i can give you a lot of ideas to spice up your love life. some might seem silly. some might seem extreme. i've done everything from personalizing my lover's penis with a sharpie to tying him up and everything in between. feel free to page me if you'd like to hear about those specific ideas.
best,
robin