November 2010 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
When you're ready and he's not
I don't mean for this to be sort of LJish. I know we have a few girls with bumps right now. Are there any of you who aren't pregnant b/c your H isn't ready?
We made an agreement to wait a little while before TTC. Unfortunately, my clock went off right after the wedding. He's saying he won't give in -- he wants to wait at least half a year, if not more. He also seems to think that we'll get lucky right away, and doesn't understand that there's more to getting pregnant than just tossing out the BC. I'm not looking to change his mind or anything (impossible anyhow!), but I just wanted to know if anyone else is in my shoes right now.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Books read in 2012: 21/50
Re: When you're ready and he's not
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Well I know I am pg, but lets just say my H felt the same way as yours for a bit!
Prior to the wedding we both agreed we would start TTC in July. I got major baby fever after the wedding and just couldn't take it anymore, waiting til July I just didn't want to do. So we agreed we would see if we would get pg by just going at it when we wanted and not taking into consideration if I might be fertile or not for December - February, and then we would avoid TTC for a couple of months if it didn't happen, then try again come July.
I didn't want a winter baby so that's why I wanted to avoid a few months - I know this sounds so vain, but at least I could convince him we should try just to see what would happen and if it didn't we would go back to plan A. Of course I didn't think it would happen right away, we are very fortunate that it did. But he has been so excited since we found out and not once wishing it didn't happen so soon.
I wish you guys so much luck! Trust me I know waiting even just a few more months feels like an ETERNITY! But maybe you can negotiate with him 4 more months? Take that time to get your body ready and, if you haven't already, get on prenatals, go to the dentist for a cleaning (yes this is recommended for women TTC) and make sure your immunizations are up-to-date. Then you will be all set!!
Yeah, we've already started the "preliminary" stuff...I'm charting, I stopped taking the Pill (I've been on it since I was 17, so ten years now) and I'm taking prenatal supplements as prescribed by my GYN. I know that five more months isn't that long to wait.
I just wonder if, at the six-month mark, he's going to be ready. Or if he's going to change his mind and say he wants more time.
Books read in 2012: 21/50
My H kind of flip-flops on the idea.
One day he is all about it, "Let's try. Let's have a baby." Then the next he is telling me we should definitely wait at least till the end of the year.
I can see his point. He's terrified about his job. He thinks that the company is going to tank any time now and he doesn't want to be jobless with a kid on the way. It would just add too much stress.
I have the opposite problem... I think DH would like a baby but I'm not ready. He said we should "talk about it this calendar year." Yikes! I don't feel ready at all!
And I am so curious, having never looked into all these things, why the teeth cleaning?
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I hear ya on the baby fever. It can be so hard to wait. I also think more often than women, men get a little hesitant. For various reasons, they tend to get excited more WHEN it happens than before - sometimes not until they are holding the baby (but obviously, not every man is the same).
My Dh looooves babies. He has always wanted to be a dad. When our NFP practitioner asks us if we are open to an unexpected pregnancy, Dh is always the first to say, "Oh yeah, we are open!!!" Yet, he is also the first one to look nervous when I say I want to have our first baby asap. Lol. I think he starts doing numbers in his head and feeling the financial heaviness of being a provider. He, like so many other guys, want to have all those ducks in a row. But children are never 100 percent convenient! (That's what I say hahaha).
All that to say... I think it's normal to be a little flip-floppy about taking that leap. And sometimes the more one spouse pushes for it, the more the other spouse digs their heals in out of fear.
A few reasons actually, your gums can get extra sensitive because of all of the extra blood you have while pg, and also you are more prone to gingivitis which can lead to an increased chance of pre-term delivery and low birth weigh. The bacteria can get into your bloodstream through bleeding gums and to your baby. Weird right? who would have thought?
SO TRUE Zara!!!
Gosh that must be difficult. Just try to be patient. 6 months seems like forever now, but it may go by quicker than you think. H & I said we were going to wait, but I'm not getting any younger (33) so my clock is ticking big time. H said we can start TTC whenever I want to, but I told him that is like putting the whole decision on my shoulders. So we talked about it a LOT and decided that this will be my last week on BCPs. We shall see what happens...