North Florida Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Stolen from MM: Once a cheater, always a cheater?
On the Entertainment board, they are discussing Jesse James getting engaged to Kat (tattoo reality star) and someone posted something along the lines of Kat being stupid for getting involved with a cheater and she deserves to be cheated on if she goes in this with open eyes.
(Kat is not the girl he cheated with, that was someone else)
I assume people are saying the above becuase they are "team Sandra Bullock" but it makes you wonder. Would you date/marry someone who you knew cheated on his exwife? do you believe a person can change that behaviour?
Re: Stolen from MM: Once a cheater, always a cheater?
I have known a few, two that I can think of off the top of my head, people that have cheated once (with one another, actually) and then never done it again, but both of them are currently reconciled with their respective spouses. So yes, I think someone who cheats has the ability to change, but I would wonder about someone who doesn't seem to have made any attempt to reconcile with their spouse (even if said spouse then says "umm, I think not. Hit the road")
I hope this made sense.
Yes, I am in the "once a cheater" crowd, at least in theory. I do realize that some people only ever do it once, but I fully believe that the majority of the time, they'll do it again if given the chance.
Specific to this situation, I believe that just the number of cheating occurrences that were supposed to have happened should be enough to warn anyone! And I do think that his attitude is that he did nothing wrong, and that is a red flag to me.
As an aside, I heard that Kat was indeed one of the ones he was rumored to have cheated with.
Either way, it's a definite risk she's taking, but she's a big girl and (supposedly) knows what she's getting into.
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I agree. I think you should definitely know what you're getting into but it doesn't mean that it's going to happen again. I think I would have to take each situation as it came (not that it happens to me all the time).
I cheated on almost every boyfriend I ever had. I have been with my husband the longest of everyone (5 years) and I have never cheated on him and never will.
I do think that once you cheated on one guy or girl- thats it. But every relationship is a new start.
No, I wouldn't date/marry someone who I knew cheated on their former SO.
Yes, I do believe people can change but there's no guarantee - and I wouldn't want to waste my time with an individual who has that bit of defectiveness in their history.
This is an interesting debate. I'm not really sure how I would answer the question. I personally have cheated in the past (on my ex, but we dated for several years before and after it happened.) But, I don't think it means I'm destined to repeat my actions.
For me, I'm horrified at myself that I ever let it happen. I do feel like I learned a lot from it though, from all the seemingly innocent steps that lead to the bigger incidents. I feel like I have a much better appreciation of where the line is (should be) and can stay far away from it. I also know what emotional responses in me are dangerous and I can recognize if a friendship is steering in the wrong direction long before things get ugly. So as funny as it is to say, I think cheating in my past relationship makes it far less likely that I will in this one.
But, of course, I can only speak for myself. Also, I don't know how I would feel about my DH. I do know that my ex-bf also cheated and I forgave him. In marriage though, that's a whole different story. In this relationship especially, I trust my husband so completely I can't even fathom it happening, but if it did, I know I wouldn't ever regain this same level of trust. I'd have to decide if I could live with that.
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