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AF is late again (pity party/ vent)
She was supposed to show up on Monday, I am not testing for a while yet though. I have reasons.
1. I am a chicken. I am a big, hormonal, chicken. I am afraid of testing and having it come back positive and then finding out I am not in fact KU but still have HCG in my system from the miscarriage. I know that it's not likely that it would be a false positive but I am regretting not getting my levels tested back to 0.
2. The next reason is DH wants me to wait until a week from this coming monday. He wants to wait until I am a week further along in the pregnancy (if I am pregnant) because when I test it will already be past when I had the miscarriage. I tested the day AF was due and one week later almost to the hour I started to m/c. This way when/if I find out I am k/u I won't be sitting there stressed out that I am going to m/c again.
3. Pay day is next Friday.
4. This is a dumb one but, my friend turns 30 tomorrow. I don't want to find out, not drink and have her worried about me all night. She would worry. She's awesome like that. She would say screw it being a milestone birthday and her kick assed awesome party, she would be all smiley and happy for me and then worried because she knows how obsessed I can get and know that I would be stressed about losing the baby again. This way I don't know if I am k/u and I can slowly nurse a drink and have no one say anything and she can get all wasted and truly love her birthday.
Those are my reasons for not testing. Here is why I really want to test and this is torturing me.
1. I am not good at waiting. Like really not good at it. Like I want to find out yesterday dammit.
2. I am afraid that if I wait for another week and a half to test and I get a BFN I am going to be so mad at myself because I will have thought for two weeks that I was most probably k/u and been excited/terrified and then be horribly disappointed.
3. If I get a BFP that is really a BFN there is a chance there is a problem and maybe my m/c wasn't as complete as they thought it was (unlikely since I have had af since then) and it's probably bad to delay taking care of things even longer-
sorry ladies for that. This is just how brain is now...
Re: AF is late again (pity party/ vent)
when was your m/c? I am sorry you have to deal with this crap. Perhaps your AF just isn't back to normal yet? BUT I see you say you've had AF since your m/c so it's doubtful that there is any HCG left from the first pregnancy.
I think you should POAS on saturday. Go to your friends party. Have a good time and celebrate. Then get up and pee. Put your mind at ease.
Good luck, I hope just typing it all out helped.
Happy Easter
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I'm so sorry you're going through this! I agree with pp, it's quite unlikely that there is any HCG left from your miscarriage, especially since you have had a period since.
GL!!