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someone please slap me (NUI/long post)
I don't know if it's because I'm so OVER this whole situation, or because I had a glass (or three) of wine this evening, or that I've been super emotional the last week, but here we go.
you all know the story of my ex-BFF/MOH turned drug addict whom I have extreme bitterness/resent toward, right?
yeah. uh, so... pretty much she's been out of commission for the last 8 months snorting pills and not working at her cushy govt job and all that fun stuff. she's now living with her parents, not with her boyfriend, had her car repossessed & house almost foreclosed. needless to say, she has NO room to be talking about anyone.
a few friends have told me recently things she's said about me in the past. I've brushed it off. for some reason, tonight, I'm almost in tears over this shiit. she was my MOH and yet she told mutual friends things like "oh, we'll see how long THAT lasts" when I got engaged, and has talked about my weight gain in a joking manner.
apparently, last night, she decided to rear her ugly head and come out of hiding. she got together with three of my girlfriends, one of which is my pregnant BFF. ALL of which have claimed to have the same opinions as I do the last couple months, btw. she jokingly mentioned something like "oh, so is Mandee still going to the gym and working out? HAHAHAHA"... like, "that's funny because she's FAT" kinda thing.
now, I know it's ridiculous to actually give a shiit about what she says/thinks, but it makes so ANGRY that she even has the ballllls to talk about people when she is such an ugly person, and I'm not referring to her appearance. I want to just email her and tell her to not bother worrying my life, because we are NOT friends and we never be friends again. I want to tell her to mind her own business, and I just want to be nasty, because that's how I'm feeling. I feel so hurt and betrayed.
another part of me is kind of disappointed that none of those girls even stuck up for me when she said that.
am I overreacting?
god, sorry this is so long. like I said, I've had a few drinks and have been a little over emotional as of late.
Re: someone please slap me (NUI/long post)
I know I'm on here way late, and you're probably asleep but:
I'm really sorry, and that really sucks. She doesn't sound like she ever deserves you as a friend, and it's hard to lose a friend, especially one who was super close to you, so that just sucks in general.
As for the friends that didn't stick up for you, I'd be pissed too, but maybe they were just going along with it for the sake of not starting anything?
Good luck and feel better soon
You aren't overreacting...that whole situation sucks. I don't think your ex-friend even deserves the time you would spend writing the email--she will only make it into more drama and clearly you are the better person, so I don't think I would give her the satisfaction of responding. But the friends not sticking up for you would make me upset too. I'm guessing they just didn't want to get into it, but then telling you about it after only makes it worse. Blech.
For what it's worth, we all know you awesome.
BFP 5/2/11, missed m/c, D&C 6/13/11
BFP 12/8/11--Little Girl E Born 8/22/12
Hugs! I think you have every right to be angry. Even if you realize that she's just a shiitty person, she was still your best friend once. Have you biitched her out at all since all this went down? Unfortunately if she's on drugs and basically ruining her life, she's probably not able to have an actual rational conversation.
Why did you friends even get together with her? I would be hurt too if my friends went out with someone like that and didn't tell her off and leave once she started talking about me. But, like pp said, I guess maybe they just didn't want to start anything.
I'm sorry you're going through this Mandee. It sucks that you have to deal with someone like that.
Dear Mandee,
Sorry for the late response. I don't think you were over-reacting at all. I'd be pissed to if someone who has a history like hers would even say anything about me good or bad.
Like Sikes I too was wondering why your friends would get together with her. I'm glad they told you she something but still ouch.
I'm so sorry you've been hurt and continue to be hurt by this horrible person. It really upsets me.
I'm with the everyone else. She's an asswipe and a lost cause for friendship, but I'm even more pissed off with your friends who didn't stand up for you. That's really douchey of them.
And you're not fat. You're gorgeous.
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
I am so sorry that your ex-friend is being so hateful. People who spend all their time trying to pull other people down do it because it temporarily makes them feel a little better about the sorry state they've let them get themselves in.
You are not overreacting. I think it is horrible that none of your other friends would tell her to shut the f up, or why they would even go out with such a messed up person. We think you are awesome!
The Daily Nugget
Cycle 12, IUI #1 - 33m post wash 10/15/10 = BFN
Cycle 13, IUI #2 - 15m post wash 11/16/10 = BFP, missed m/c, D&C 1/3/11
Cycle 15 - 18, IUI #3-6 = BFN
Cycle 20, IUI #7 = BFP!, missed m/c 9/14, D&C
DE-IVF Aug. 2012: ER 8/30 11R, 7M, 4F; ET 9/4 returned 2
Beta 9/18 #1-820, #2-1699, #3-7124
10/1 1st u/s measuring right on track, 125 bpm
thank you guys so much for the responses.
I know that it's not even worth attempting to communicate with her, because even before the drugs, she's always been a selfish person. I know that I hold a lot of resentment toward her, because I guess I thought she was a better friend than she turned out to be. I tend to put ALL of my energy into friendships, so it sucks when it all goes to waste.
I have NO idea why these girls got together with her. they've all been present when I voice my opinions and they all agree with me. I mean we have had lengthy discussions about this and I thought we were all on the same page. my BFF and her are cousins, and she seemed the angriest when all this came about... yet they got together at her house.
I'm definitely going to talk to BFF and ask her why no one said anything when she was making fun of me. I'm just going to tell her that I'm hurt by the fact that no one stood up for me, when I surely would have done it for them.
ugh, this whole situation just sucks. honestly, I wish she would have just stayed in her little hole. apparently she's waiting for a bed to open so she can go to rehab and then she's moving to FL. I hope she gets better, but I won't deny that I'll be happy once she's out of the picture.
TTC since October 2010 | BFP 12/29/11 | RRQ BORN 08/26/12
planned | married | blogged
Mandee I'm sorry you're having to deal with and go through this. Like everyone else said, it's a waste of time to bother communicating with her because no matter what you say, she's not going to change. She seems like a bad person and friend and you're better off cutting all ties.
I completely understand why you're upset at the rest of your friends for hanging out with her, and not defending you when she started talking about you. I think it's good that you're going to talk to your BFF to find out why they didn't stick up for you.
Keep your head up and know that you are an amazing person and friend to those who deserve to be in your life.
First of all, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Such a crappy situation. She's an asshat and definitely doesn't deserve you as a friend. My guess is that deep down she's super jealous of you, not that it makes it any better. But you're obviously a much better person than her.
And I'm sorry your friends didn't stick up for you. That really hurts. I'm totally not defending them, but I will say this: I'm one of those people. If I was in that situation I probably would've just ignored what she said and made a note to call you ASAP and tell you what happened. I'm just non-confrontational like that. And then later I would've sat and thought about it and I'd become pissed off and hate myself for not saying anything. It's stupid. And it sucks to even admit to myself I might react that way. Just wanted to give perspective.
(((Hugs)))
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
I was actually thinking the same thing. I honestly don't WANT to know what she says about me anymore. Granted... I did ask if she said anything about me, which is my own damn fault for just being curious.
I'm glad I'm not in the wrong for feeling like this. I didn't know if it was just me expecting too much or what, because I feel like for me, personally, I'm past that point of trash talking. I think it shows extreme insecurity to bring down another woman, especially based on something physical. if someone said something negative about my friend, I'd stick up for them and tell them they're wrong to talk down about people. I guess maybe my friends were never taught that lesson.
TTC since October 2010 | BFP 12/29/11 | RRQ BORN 08/26/12
planned | married | blogged
Thanks for the advice.
I'm thinking I didn't portray my thoughts correctly.
Mandee, I simply meant that maybe your friends, for whatever reason, thought it might be different (or maybe the conversation wouldn't be about you). And once they were in the situation they may have realized how stupid it was. Maybe they regret going or feel crappy about it.
I've had friends whom I thought might be different and then realize they're not. And if I was in that situation I would've ignored her and then if you asked, told you, and blow her off in the future. I wasn't implying that I would gossip back and forth.
Alyson & Phil | Planning Bio | Married Bio!
Dates & Quinces Blog
oh no, Steph, I wasn't referring to your post either. I can completely understand how different situations would cause them to not speak up.
I talked to BFF last night (as well as the other two girls who were there) and told them that I was really upset coming home Friday night, and that I kept wondering why no one stuck up for me. BFF said that she did answer MOH with something like "oh yeah, she's been working really hard and she looks GREAT!" MOH then came back with something else rude so they all thought it best to just not even bother, because they knew she would have a rebuttal for anything. they said that they immediately changed the subject to get her to stop talking about it.
TTC since October 2010 | BFP 12/29/11 | RRQ BORN 08/26/12
planned | married | blogged
Now jumping domestically.
Well that was a crazy couple of years.