September 2010 Weddings
LauraT25
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Picking fights on FB
I just got really worked up over a comment someone made on FB, and then I realized - I don't know the person who pissed me off at all, and I barely know the person whose wall the comment thread appeared on (a 9/10 Knottie who I don't think I've seen post in a while). I usually stay away from controversial subjects on FB but some things really get me fired up. Part of me wants to delete it since I'm basically a stranger to everyone involved, but another part of me doesn't care, since it's a subject I feel strongly about.
This is why I should just delete my account.
Re: Picking fights on FB
gerren's cousin and i have totally different political beliefs. and he ALWAYS posts about political hot topics. and i always argue with him on there. none of his friends know me and they all side with him, so its always interesting
other than that, no, i dont.
Blog
Wait, so did you make a comment back, or you're just upset reading it? What was the comment? (You totally don't have to say if you don't want. I'm just nosy.)
FB is evil. I debate deleting mine all the time, but I stay on there b/c I like seeing pictures of my niece. I've stopped logging in so much and deleted a lot of people last week who I have no idea why were on my friends list in the first place.
The Princess of Anything is Coming!
Had a dream I was queen.
Woke up. Still queen.
Haha. I did that, too. I think I have like 100 friends now.
The Princess of Anything is Coming!
Had a dream I was queen.
Woke up. Still queen.
Me too. I was on there one day last week and was like, "300 friends? I don't think I even know 300 people." Looking through my list it's like people who I went to HS with and haven't seen or talked to in 10 years, people who were a couple of years ahead of or behind me in HS that I hardly remember, people I had one or two classes with in college 7 years ago, etc. I had most of them hidden from my home feed anyway, so I decided it was time to pare it down a bit.
If I didn't feel so guilty deleting some of my family members, it would have been a lot more deleted. :-P
Ok, here is what it was about: the OP (a Knottie) had said something about Ben Roethlisberger being a rapist. Another person, who I will call DB, replied:
if you didn't hold her mouth open to borrow beer down her throat that is her fault for puting herself in a bad situation.
(I think he meant 'pour beer'?)
Here is what happened after that:
me: I don't know the whole story with Ben, but just because a girl chooses to drink, doesn't mean it's 'her fault' if she gets raped. Even if someone makes stupid choices and put herself in a bad situation, it's HORRIBLE to say she deserved it.
DB: If she was raped I would agree with you. I thought what happened was during the act of sex she changed her mind. That is a weird area but it should stop when she is uncomfortable. since he was never even charged I then think it is unfair to call him a rapist.
me: I agree that it's unfair to call someone a rapist if there's not some pretty solid evidence against them - in Ben's case, no one but him and the girl know what happened, so you can't place the blame on either of them. I'm not trying to attack you or drag this out any further, I was just pointing out that you said something pretty offensive (even if she did change her mind, that would still be her prerogative).
--I was hoping it would just drop there, because it seemed like we were sort of on the same page. But no, then he said:
DB: Its offensive to say young girls who go out and drink to much put themselves at risk of being picked up by low lifes? Its wrong and makes me scared of the days my little girl wants to go out, but there's no doubt that element is out there looking for these girls.
I don't think I will bother responding. While I DO agree that getting drunk may not be a smart choice and it's a risky behavior, that does NOT make it 'her fault' if a girl gets raped. That mentality pisses me off so much. However, I don't see the point in arguing with this guy.
I don't argue politics on FB either, Shauni. I know there's no way I'm going to change someone's mind and it's just going to frustrate me. I have defriended people in the past, though, if they have particularly ignorant opinions.
Recently I posted an article about vaccines on FB and as I was posting it I remember thinking, "It might be interesting to see the comments on this one..." but no one said anything. It was my other FB account.
Wow.
I don't know that I would have said anything back to that comment, but that's seriously offensive. From personal experience. What a douche.
Blech. A girl can walk around the party butt-naked - still doesn't mean she's 'asking for it.' But you can't argue with an ignoramus like that. Just ewww.
Ditto. You can get drink off your arse and walk around naked in a dark alley at 3 am, and that doesn't give anyone the right to rape you. Would I say that girl was an idiot? Yes. Asking for it? No.
Any of the 'she was asking for it' arguments really get my hackles up. It's hard enough for victims of rape to deal with what has happened to them, without society perpetuating this mentality. Rape victims already tend to blame themselves, and having people spout shiit like this makes them feel even more at fault, making it less likely for them to report their attacks or even seek counseling, and more likely for their attackers to either never get reported, or get off with a slap on the wrist.
I think that a lot of people want to shift blame to the victims because it makes the rapist seem like less of a monster, especially if the rapist is someone they know. People don't want to believe that that kind of evil exists, and it also makes them feel safe, because THEY would never be 'asking for it', so they will never be a victim.
Laura, ask him if he got drunk, then some asshat came by and mugged him and beat him to a pulp if that would mean he deserved it too. It's pretty much the same logic - that he shouldn't have gotten so drunk that he couldn't control his surroundings.
TTC since 2010
Me: 36, slightly elevated FSH. Everything else (hysterescopy, HSG, b/w) normal.
DH:30, with super sperm? >200mil post wash
BFP #1 - May 2011 - m/c @ 8weeks
IUI #1 - July 26 2012 - Femara = BFN
Suprise BFP Jan 15 2013. Hope this one sticks!