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Need some advice! (long)
I don't know if everyone knows this, but I hate my job, hate accounting, and fully intend to get my teaching certificate and become a jr. high/high school English teacher. I was going to take the test Saturday, and hope to pass and find a job in the fall, but then I got pregnant, so that's on hold.
We also fully intend to move back to the Ohio area summer 2012 (after living in our house 3 years so we don't have to pay back the 8k tax credit). So for the 8-9 months after maternity leave but before we hope to move, I'm absolutely dreading coming back to work. I worked at Starbucks for 4 years in college and loved it, wanted to do the Asst. Manager program, but my parents pushed for an accounting job and there was no opportunity in IN for an asst. manager. So I'm thinking about trying to get a job at Starbucks in Palencia off US1, which is 1 mi. from the IL's.
DH works in St. Augustine, so his parents house is about halfway from our house to work and the Starbucks. He usually works from about 11am-8pm during the season and travels about every other weekend. I'm thinking about approaching his parents with this option. I get a job opening at Starbucks 5-ish days per week, so I work 4:30am-12:30pm ish, when JJ is also working, he would drop the baby off at their house around 11am, and I'd pick it up by 1pm, so they'd get about 2 hours a day with the baby. Well, his dad would b/c he's retired. Then on the weekends when JJ is travelling, I'd bring the baby over and it would give his mom a chance to see the baby for several hours. We're probably talking maybe 8 Saturdays total?
JJ's basically off from Dec 20-Jan 15, and then once baseball is over, he'd be finished for the summer, which is Mid May. So I really hate to use daycare and have to pay when he's home. I also think that if we're going to move, it would be nice for his parents to spend as much time with the baby as possible before we go, then when we move they won't feel like they missed out on everything because honestly, though we live 20 minutes away, we maybe see them 1x per month, at the most. Since FIL is retired and they tell us to bring the dogs over any time at all, I can't see this as being an issue.
So here's my question: Do you think this sounds like a ridiculous plan? Am I not thinking clearly? And if you think it makes sense, how would you approach his parents, and when?
I do realize many cards have to fall in place with the job, but I could technically work at any Starbucks, it would just be easier to be so close to them. And since I have 4 years and it will be in Nov. right before Holiday rush, I am 100% certain I can find a barista job anywhere.
ETA: When we move, I plan to work at a Starbucks until I get the proper state certification to become a teacher, where ever that is. And if it looks like we won't be moving, I plan to take the test in Spring 2012 and look for a teaching job Fall 2012 and then enroll the child in daycare.
Re: Need some advice! (long)
Your mind is going a hundred miles a minute just like mine. It is funny all the ideas I have come up with as far as work since we found out we were pregnant.
So here's my question: Do you think this sounds like a ridiculous plan? No, if you will make enough money working at Starbucks.
Am I not thinking clearly? My only concern is just because they offer to watch your dogs that is a lot different than a baby. Would FIL really want to watch a baby every day. Does he golf or have a hobby that watching a baby would interfere with.
And if you think it makes sense, how would you approach his parents, and when? I would approach them ASAP or atleast try and feel them out to see if it was even an option.
First off, sorry you hate your job. It's no good to be miserable for most of your waking hours during the week, so good luck with changing that situation.
Here's what I think:
- You have to talk to JJ about all this first and you should both bring it up to his parents together if he agrees also.
- As much as we joke about it, babies are not dogs. So while yes they tell you to take the dogs over whenever, taking a baby over and leaving it there is a whole different ballgame. FIL has the time because he's retired, but does if have everything else it takes to watch a baby for about 2 hours a day....which could be longer if you end up getting a job at a Starbucks further away.
- Are you sure you can get the shift you want? I don't know how shift scheduling works at all.
I would not ask ILs to babysit on any sort of regular basis. "We want to go out for dinner next Saturday, do you mind watching the kid?" is totally different than relying on them for daycare. That is so much to ask someone to do. Just because he's retired doesn't mean he wants to spend ten hours a week watching a baby.
Just being totally honest, but it sounds like you're using "but I don't want them to miss out on time with the baby before x and y because a and b" as an excuse to justify asking them.
Again, I would NOT ask. Even if they offer, I would hesitate to accept. But maybe that's just me.
Also.. have you thought about the salary/benefit differences between staying where you are & working at Starbucks? Yeah you might get hired as an Asst. Manager but you might also get hired as an associate making $8/hr.
This just all seems very cart before the horse.
I guess the only reason I considered it is because in DH's family, every grandparent watches the kids. JJ stayed with his GP's while his parents worked, and his grandparents even said, so I guess your mom and dad are going to the watch the baby? And I was surprised by that, but didn't say anything. Then his dad started building a tree house/playground thing in their yard when he found out I was pregnant, so I don't think it would be overstepping to ask in this situation... but I might just put some comments out there and see how they react. I know for a fact my parents, for example, I'd never ask, they'd have no desire to.
His parents do made passive comments about never seeing us, so I do worry that they'll be upset if they don't see the baby often, but I really don't want to go to their house all of the time so they can see the baby, so I honestly am thinking this would be in their benefit, his mom has also been considering retiring this summer, but for sure next.
JJ's totally in the 'whatever you want to do' boat, which can be frustrating. He never comes up with ideas or suggestions, and basically just gives me feedback on what he thinks. He said if his mom retires, he's 100% sure they would want to be a full time daycare if I kept my current job, but I don't want to drive to their house 2x daily.
I'm also not 100% sure I'd be able to handle opening at Starbucks 5x per week, I think it would be really hard with those hours and a baby. Doing it in college is way different than now. When you are an opener, you pretty much only ever work open - 2 pm, so the hours would be fairly consistent.
I'm sure we'll just do the daycare route in the end, but I really am dreading the comments from his parents about how they never see the baby... and then when we move it's just going to be worse....
I don't get benefits at my current job. With not having to pay 800-1000/mo in daycare, we could save enough that working as a barista at $10/hr would be enough for our budget. And this would just be an 8-9 month window anyway, if things changed in regard to moving I'd look for a full time job and we'd put the child in daycare.
This was actually my biggest concern. It sounds exhausting. But I understand hating your job and trying to look for a better or at least different solution. As for grandparents as part time day care, I think it works in some cases and not in others, you know them better than we do obviously
Good luck, it'll work out!
My Ovulation Chart
If you keep your current job and they want to do it, couldn't you just have JJ take the baby on his way to work like in the other scenario and you would just pick him up after work, so you'd only have to make the drive once a day...?
My Ovulation Chart
That's exactly what I think this case is here.
There is a HUGE difference between the ILs OFFERING to do as opposed to ASKING them to do it.
ETA: Also, with parents/ILs, you have to keep in mind & be prepared that there may come a day when they can't do it anymore. MIL takes care of BIL's girls (almost 3 & 18 months respectively) every other week & its really taken a toll on her. She just feels to guilty to say anything.
What do you do about insurance? Are you on JJ's now?
Yes, all our benefits are thru Flagler. Since I'm at a small company, the benefits are expensive and crappy. Also, after working at Starbucks 6 mo. you qualify for health insurance, so I could go that route, and then when we move it would tide us over until JJ gets picked up by his new employer rather than doing COBRA.