Something to Discuss

Kamikaze3 · January 2011

Gabrielle Giffords' husband is scheduled for a space flight in February. He said it would be a decision they make together. He seems very devoted to her and is always by her bedside. It is also a huge event in his career and she seems to be improving each day.

It got me thinking and even with these factors I could not even imagine leaving my husband if he was in the type of condition. It is not like if there is a change in her condition or complication that he can just fly home to be with her. To me the thought that it is even still something he is considering bothers me. What do others think?

jens_a_ten · January 2011

I don't know, I think that if I were Gabrielle's position, I'd want him to go. My impression is that she is stable and recovering right now. And not to be all "If you don't go the terrorists win!", but I wouldn't want to let the shooter's actions stop someone I love from pursuing their dreams.

Also, I thought the flight was in April?

CaptainSerious · January 2011

I think he's completely justified still thinking about it. Space flights are rare occurrences, and for an astronaut, it's what he devotes his entire working life training and preparing for. How could he not at least consider all the possibilities and their ramifications.

Besides, him sitting at her bedside isn't going to change her condition. It sounds like she's out of the woods, and at this point is in the rehab stage. Sure, it would likely help her morale to have him around, but it won't harm her if he's not.

How long is he supposed to be gone?

Novemberrocks · January 2011

If I were GG, I would insist that he goes. You could train for your whole life as an astronaut and not get the opportunity. It's a once in a lifetime sort of thing. Yeah, so is seeing your wife before she dies, but I would still insist upon it. Especially if there have been no major health complications to date.

jens_a_ten · January 2011

Additionally, this isn't just any space launch, it's the last scheduled one in the 30 year program, and includes some kind of high profile physics experiments, etc. etc. The more I think about it, the more I think that I would demand my partner go if it were me in the situation. And I certainly don't blame him for wanting to go.

KayRI · January 2011

I don't think I'd want my husband to miss something like that. It's what he does for a living, and an astronaut only has so many opportunities to go into space. I only wonder how much time he's going to have to spend training and preparing -- it's not as if astronauts just jump on the Space Shuttle without spending a lot of time together working.

katie.i.do · January 2011

if i were in congresswoman gifford's position i would also insist he go. go! i think it would make me feel terrible if he passed up such a once in a lifetime opportunity to pine away at my bedside.

noisy_penguin · January 2011

jens_a_ten:
Additionally, this isn't just any space launch, it's the last scheduled one in the 30 year program, and includes some kind of high profile physics experiments, etc. etc. The more I think about it, the more I think that I would demand my partner go if it were me in the situation. And I certainly don't blame him for wanting to go.

Yeah, I think as long as she's out of the woods I wouldn't judge him either.

wingedbride · January 2011

When I was in the hospital for dagger, Mr. Winged wanted to always change the TV channel and complaining about the temp int he room. Sometimes when you are in the hospital, you want to be alone. I would encourage Mr. Winged to go if I was in the situation.

FallinAgain · January 2011

How long will he be gone is a big question for me. I'd go assuming it isn't months and there are no set backs before then.

As a separate issue, should he be training right now? I pictured that as a pretty intense lead up to launch.

Kamikaze3 · January 2011

I think they said including training he would be gone for over three months. If this was going to be his first and possible only flight I think it would be different if I was him. He has gone up a few other time though.

I guess I would say if I were her and stable I would want him to go to be a supportive wife but inside I would be sad he was leaving for several months. Although there is nothing he can really do for her if he stays other than provide support. I just think if I was in his shoes I would not want to leave my husband for that long so soon after being so close to losing him.

Maybe this is one of those things I don't understand because I am not an astronaut. See that works for more than just "I will understand when I am a mom".

redcortina · January 2011

This will be his fourth mission in space.

I tend to agree with Kamikaze. I don't think I could leave. I can't imagine coming that close to losing my spouse, and then taking off a few months later. And regardless of her progess to this point, brain injuries are tricky.

wingedbride · January 2011

Yeah, 3 months is probably more time away. But I assumed they moved her here to Houston so that she would be nearby while he was in training and could still visit her? I mean, is he supposed to be with her all the time?

CaliopeSpidrman · January 2011

I don't think there's a right or wrong answer here. I wouldn't blame him if he stayed, nor would I mind if he left. Honestly, it's just nice that he has the luxury to decide. There are plenty of people in a similar position who have no choice but return to work while their spouse is in the hospital.

Vinny2008 · January 2011

I won't judge him if he decides to go.

I would insist on my husband going in this situation.

However, if I was the one scheduled to leave, I would not go. It would be one thing if he were working in another state, but that's not what this is about. Perfectly healthy people drop dead all of the time. After sustaining injuries as severe as she has, I would not trust that something couldn't happen in the blink of an eye. Time is too short and valuable, and when you know somebody is suffering from something so life threatening, it's just too risky.

But, this is me speaking from a place where I was planning on dropping everything (granted, at the time, I was 24 and didn't have much going on in my life), and moving to Florida to take care of my mom when she got sick. I had no idea our time would be so short (3 weeks). Now, I am so happy that I spent all 3 weeks with her.

But, then again, I haven't invested my whole life into my career. I would drop this place like a bad habit for far less then this. So, yeah, maybe I would understand if I was an astronaut.

CaptainSerious · January 2011

See, that's just it. Astronauts and their spouses choose to live a life that will call them away, for months at a time, regardless of what's going on at home. They know this and chose this, and are dedicated to it.

They also train in teams that function together; moving just one person affects the efficiency and safety of the whole group. So if he chooses not to go, he is messing with the lives of every other member of his team.

Like a firefighter can't ignore a fire call in the middle of the night even when his wife is in labor (or much worse), an astronaut has some serious commitments he's expected to keep.

TSD · January 2011

I think people who come together in those kind of careers understand how important their careers are to them. Not that their marriages are "less" but I think there is an understanding that the person they married is pretty much defined by their career and that's part of what they love about them.

pdxmouse · January 2011

Foe me this also falls into "you can't live your life based on what *might* happen." Obviously, it'd be different if it was pretty certain time was limited, but in this case I'd say go. I think because the work is already hazardous, they're probably comfortable with the risk of not seeing each other again.

You'll understand when you're an astronaut.

CaliopeSpidrman · January 2011

If only Chad was still around. He could tell us what it's like from an astronaut's perspective.

Something to Discuss

Re: Something to Discuss

Choose Another Board

Search Boards