Northern California Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Jealous feelings.
How do I make them disappear? My dad and. Were very close until I was 3 and my mom refused to let me see him (she's psycho and I haven't talked to her in years). I got in contact with my dad 6 years agoand we have had a good relationship. He texted me that he has decided to "give it a shot" with a woman he has been seeing, casually. He has been torn about it because he knows relationships natural progress. The woman has a dead end job, doesnt make much money, lives with her mom and has a three year old daughter. He knows that if the Relationship gets serious, they will be moving into his house and he will be Supporting them. He was also hesitant because of the quilt of raisining someone elses kid and not his own. I know it's dumb and childish, but iI cant help but feeliNg alone, abandoned and jealous.
It won't bE long until the kid is calling my dad "daddy" (Her bio dad is in jail). He will Be spending xmas with them and helping her witH her homework aNd gOing to her Graduation. He will have a family that I don't fit into. He Lives in florida and with the added responsibility, probably wont visit. The Last several convos with him have completely focused on his gf, to the point that I ignore the phone. I am just feeling comptely alone, my dad is the only family I have left sInce my grandma died two years ago, and just dh and I dontdon't fel like family, wilL this change? Yesterday DH said wE would be a family soon( wheN we hAve a baby) but with our infertility, that may nevEr happen. I feel dumb feeling this way, but I cant shake it
Multiple IVFs=TWINS! Due FEB 5, 2012!!
Born @33W4D
Re: Jealous feelings.
First - I think you and your husband are a family...you're a family of two. My husband and I consider ourselves a family (well we have 2 cats no kids), although we have our immediate families too.
I would be honest with your dad on how you're feeling about his situation.
IUI #1 10/12/11 (Bravelle + HCG + Prometrium & acupuncture) = 10/26 BFP! Beta #1=250, Beta #2= 615. 1st u/s 11/8.
I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I agree that you and your DH are a family, and I hope you can come to appreciate that. In fact, I nearly punched my mom's friend in the face when she not only asked me the awful, "When are you having kids?" question, but followed it up with, "You know, you're not really a family without kids." WTF?
Also, the relationship with your dad has to be a two-way street. Why can't you go visit him? Why can't you get to know the other important people in his life?
Finally, and this is totally off-topic, but I have to ask what is up with your random capitalization; it's really distracting.
First off, totally agree with Rock about the random caps. Very distracting.
Second, jealousy stems from insecurities. To me, insecurities are more relationship-threatening than jealousy. I second what all PPs have said, but would add that you need to do some soul-searching and find a way to overcome that. You will be far happier once you truly believe in how awesome you are.
Totally agree
I'm so sorry you are going through all this. I think your feelings are normal, let yourself feel them but also try not to let them get in the way of your relationship with dad. No matter what he does from this point forward, your relationship over the past 20+ wont change. Nothing can change all that. There is only going forward now and even if you had been together over all those years, your relationship would change. Keep talking with your dad, from the mundane to the important stuff. Try to understand that he is trying to find some happiness in his life too. The happier he is, the happier you both can be.
On another point, you and your DH are a family. I came from a small family and I understand about the longing but families come in all shapes and sizes. It is up to us to make the best of what we got. Remember to focus on the nice life you & your dh have together, work on your relationship with dad but remember that small steps are big
Focus on your future family (you, dh, dad etc) and if it grows (children), you will already have a strong family to welcome them. But a strong family has to start somewhere. It's obvious you have been doing this already and you care deeply, I'm just trying to say: keep up the good work. Don't beat yourself up for feeling jealous, in time it, as your relationship with your dad grows, it will subside.
Ok, maybe I'm just rambling. I'm sorry. Just be kind to yourself, love the family you have and keep up the good work.
((Hugs))
Lighthouse State Beach, Santa Cruz.