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Do you ever think you could not handle another child?
So Elijah is going thru this whiny, tantrum stage again. Won't leave my side for the most part, does not want to sit still, talks back to me, makes those blah blah copy noises. I want to pull my hair out sometimes.
I find myself getting so aggrivated, and I yell at him because if I talk and tell him something he does not listen.
This is not all the time, but a good portion. My dad said to me while on the phone w/him earlier "wow, you are always yelling". I felt completely guilty and almost started crying. While on the phone w/my dad, Elijah went in the fridge to get an applesauce and knocked out the container of unopened sour cream and it splat on my floor. I got so mad because he does stuff like this all the time. Goes in the fridge, even though I Tell him no, and knocks something over. Last time it was the gallon of milk.
Please tell me I am nnot a bad mom for yelling at him....I really try had not to, but when I just say calmly "elijah please do not touch that", he ignores me.
Now I am really re-thinking wanting another kid thing. Like will I be able to handle it, my patientss are short lately, how will it be w/2.
Urggg...sorry just needed to vent and ramble.
Re: Do you ever think you could not handle another child?
Oh Amanda, I could have written this post and I do have 2!
If you saw my joke in a previous post, there are many days I'd like to duct tape Benjamin to a wall. The incessant whining, the tantrums, the ignoring what I say, taking toys from his sister, fighting every diaper change. It's absolutely exhausting.
I have mostly curtailed tantrums using the methods in Happiest Toddler on the Block, and I'm starting to read 123 Magic for other discipline ideas as well for when it's not a tantrum but just refusing to listen, etc.
Don't beat yourself up about yelling. I try with every fiber of my being not to yell at Ben but sometimes I just can't help it. Toddlerhood is definitely the biggest test of patience for anyone. There are many days I end up in the bathroom for 5 minutes screaming into a towel because I can't handle it anymore. Then I get it out, feel bad, and go back and be calm and patient.
Just know that this stage doesn't last forever. That's what I tell myself every day. One day soon they will be big kids and we'll miss their snuggly toddler selves, at least I hope we will ;-)
Hang in there - email me or call if you ever need to vent!!!!!
"It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." - Alex & Ani bracelet
My blog: Dodging Acorns
Oh this is my life every day. I swear everyone in our neighborhood knows our kids names because we are ALWAYS yelling.
I'm not gonna lie, and don't get me wrong, but sometimes I think (and I hate myself for it) that we should have stopped after Tristan. I have such a hard time handling them sometimes. But, I do know that it will even out and I'll look back on it all and know it was all worth it.
Right?? ACK!
Yup, which is why we are not having another one (unless by the stroke of a miracle I get pg on my own!). I agree with Michele that the stage doesn't last forever and when there are sibling(s), they can play with each other so they leave you alone at times. Yes I catch myself yelling but it's less and less each day. I really believe that you need to practice what you preach. I teach hitting is wrong so I had to unlearn not to slap or spank. (I was spanked as a child). I feel the same way about yelling. I don't want him yelling at me so I try really hard not to yell at him. Walk away from Elijiah and give yourself a time out! That's what I do. If Marcos is around tag team him in and you take a breather.
I haven't gotten to the toddler stage yet, so I can't really sympathize with you at this point. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry that its been so trying on you lately. As far as him getting into things you don't want him to, such as the fridge....
Could you maybe dedicate a produce drawer or the deli drawer to Elijah's stuff such as applesauce, yogurt, juice boxes, etc...and show him that he has his very own stash of stuff in there that he can access? Maybe this would avoid the accidental spills and it would also give him the sense of independence it seems like he is wanting.... and it will save you the mess and the yelling that doesn't work. Just a suggestion. I don't know how practical it is - but it was the first thing I thought of when I read your vent.
Good luck!!!!!
oh amanda! i don't know about you - but i totally feel like 3 is worse than 2!!! as far as the fridge specifically, i would lock that puppy up. i had similar issues w/our pantry and my 2 would go in and get what they wanted out (and whatever they didn't went on the floor!) i got a babyproof lock and haven't had that issue since!
lately i've been giving delanie a count down to her time out... depending on the severity its in the corner or in her room. there are some times i'll send her to her room just for the mere fact that I need her there! i am also trying to reward and make note of when she is behaving correctly - like when she shares w/emerson or something like that - its huge in my house!
but don't worry at the end of the day, they both hear me when i yell, and know i mean business.
Thanks ladies! I think I just needed a little boost! He feel asleep in my arms and I was so in love looking at him. God they are amazing when the ysleep!! LOL!
Appreciate all your suggestions, kind words etc.
Oh my goodness Amanda, I feel like that all the time! My boys don't listen to me, I'm always screaming and sometimes feel like I'm going to lose it. I think every mom must feel this way at one time or another.
Jen
It took 5 failed IUIs and a failed IVF, but our FET worked!
My pregnancy after Infertility Blog
Our baby girl was born on April 27, 2011!