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Venting - Weddings
This year we're in 3 weddings, me-2 and DH-1. Although 2 are in our hometown, they're still OOT for us in regards that we'll need to take at least one day vacation for each to travel (but we can stay at one of our parent's homes to save $). The other wedding is in FL in Oct, which we plan on going to and I'm a BM in.
I'm just starting to total up how much everything is going to cost and feeling overwhelming.
BM#1 wedding
-Travel: 3 minimum trips (shower, b. party wedding); although like I said, it's in my hometown
Costs: in addition to gifts, our dresses were $100 (awesome) but BR wants them cut from tea-length to knee-length and the straight neckline changed to sweetheart, hair and makeup is at a salon and total $120 a person...however BR hasn't mentioned if she'll cover any of this, so am making an assumption that we'll pay
BM#2 wedding
-Travel to FL and hotel: Looking like this is min $1K right now for DH and I, plus we'll have to kennel our dog for the weekend
Showers and b. party will be in Chicago, but the showers (2) are both Mother's Day weekend, which happens to also be my birthday weekend.
Costs: dress is Priscilla of Boston and final price not decided yet, but last I knew cheapest price found was $220. Today I received an email that hair is still TBD but BM makeup is $75 (which is a decent price considering it's airbrush and includes fake lashes), otherwise just eyes is $40. But I do know that they're not offering to cover hair or MU costs as it's optional.
ETA: In all fairness I should add that BM#2 flew to my wedding and paid for hotel (all for one, not two), my BM dresses were $200 after we covered some of the cost, we paid for makeup ($30ea girl) and girls were offerend option to pay to have their hair down-$35) and BM#1 did travel to Chicago for my b party (but BM#2 didn't, understandably)
Man oh man, 2 summers ago I was bummed that so many of our friends had weddings even go to and now I'm super stressing about having to be in a few.
Thanks for letting me vent!!
Re: Venting - Weddings
Your year sounds like mine. I'm Matron of Honor in my BFF's wedding in April (which is in my hometown about 2.5 hours away), DH's brother is getting married the first weekend in May (Location originally was the Bahamas but now is TBD, probably Atlanta which is about 5 hours away), and my sister's is the weekend after in Oregon.
We haven't broken down the costs yet, but it won't be a cheap year. I think my wedding broke the seal for us.
I feel your pain - we have three weddings in 4 weeks, all out of town...
Last week of June: Wisconsin (so flights, hotels, rental car, the whole enchilada - DH is the Best Man, so we'll have tux rental. I'm the "Bride's Attendant" so have no idea what that entails, but we have to be there for 3+ days. There will be showers and bachelorette parties here in San Diego, so at least no traveling for those.
We turned down the opportunity to travel to India for the Wisconsin couple's wedding there - airfare alone was $1600 per person before taxes.
First weekend of July: I'm a BM in a good friend's wedding about 2 hours away - we'll drive up (so no flights or rental car) but will need to get a hotel. Don't know the bridesmaid dress yet, but there will be hair and makeup, for sure. There will be showers for her too, but I adore her so that's fine.
Third weekend in July: cousin's wedding in San Fran - flights, hotels, rental car, but just for a day...
And here I thought we'd just be able to save up $$ for a larger house down payment. Sigh.
These girls are telling you how & where to get your hair and make up done, and you have to pay for it?
I've always been under the impression that if you TELL your BM's where to get their hair and make-up done, the bride pays for it.
Yep, atleast it appears that well...well they're offering to make appointments for whomever wants them. BM#1 (hometown wedding), hasn't confirmed whether or not she's covering the cost but I know she's said she wants us to all get ready together.
BM#2 has said it's optional and since all BM's are OOT, I'm guessing most will take her up on her offer. I'm thinking that I may do the makeup, but I'm going to ask my stylist to help me learn how to do somethign with my hair, in my experience, hair is always more expensive than makeup, and it make up's $75, I'm thinking hair will be around $100?
Allie- we totally opened the can of worms on weddings to!! Which is obviously fun and exciting, but damn, it's turning out to be downright expensive too.
Kenna - I know on the house payment thing! We're going to need to start a new wedding savings account for all of these instead of putting that money in downpayment savings like we've been doing!
Christie- wow, did your parents help with the weddings? That is crazy!
Blog Sale
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I agree with this. If she doesn't give them an option, the bride needs to pay or help pay. It's not fair to assume everyone can afford it or want to pay to have their hair/makeup done.
Totally this - I told my two girls that hair and/or makeup were totally optional - they could do it or not, totally up to them. I asked (after they both decided they wanted both hair and makeup done) if I could pay for it, as I'm in a better financial situation. I paid for stuff day-of, and they've given me checks (I also paid for their dresses), but I don't really want to cash them.
To me, it was just amazing enough that they came into town for it. My maid of honor lives in Phoenix, so pulled her son out of a day of kindergarten, and was able to have her parents watch their two kids for Friday and Saturday so they could attend. My other bridesmaid just moved to NYC a month before the wedding, so made a contingency with her new job that she'd have the time off, and got a flight back to San Diego.