SAHM POLL

colenmike · January 2011

Hello,

Question for you SAHM's...how much do you have left over every month after you pay all of your monthly expenses including gas, groceries etc. Like total from checking and savings.

TIA

[Poll]

buckswife08 · January 2011

here's my suggestion:

one income is hard. you have to give up a lot of things that you might be used to. i was REALLY lucky to fall into my job that i have now and to have Bennett at home with me. but, even working part-time at first, i felt very disconnected from the rest of the world. i think you're going to need something to keep you in "adult mode". see if there's something you can work on remotely from home or get involved at a church or volunteering. the first year is hard....you can feel like you don't have much of an identity other than mommy.

i know it's been hard for you going back to work. i can't imagine. bennett just started full-time care at a sitter's home this month and, while it's hard for me, he LOVES it there and it's better for him. i was lucky to have him home with me from birth until now, but it was hard. no breaks. sometimes i got angry that i didn't get to leave and sit at an office all day like H.

so maybe see what possibilities there might be to work from home (or find a job that is conducive to working from home). even if it's part-time, the income will help and so will the human interaction. i dont know how financially-minded you are, but the bookkeeping i do is a GREAT way to work from home. all you need is a computer and internet. you can sell it to a smaller company that you will cost them less bc you don't require benefits (just an hour wage that u determine).

anyway...that's a lot of information. i can't vote on your topic bc i work, so my numbers will be skewed. hugs!

MadameD517 · January 2011

I'll be interested to see the responses to this one.
I know when we've looked at living on one income before we've talked about what we could cut out of our current budget and how we could make things stretch. (Having a garden for fruit and veggies, line drying clothes, not buying pre-made food, etc) It helped us to make a spreadsheet to really have a visual on whether or not we could do it.

shmoozer · January 2011

I question this for whether or not this will ever be an option for us. The health insurance is what kicks it for us. H is self-employed and I provide the health insurance. I will always have to work because of this.

buckswife08 · January 2011

another suggestion, create a budget and follow it for a month. we started in January and were shocked at our easy it was to cut back by just not eating out. now, that being said, we're very social people and we've had to say "no" a lot to invitations. BUT, our bank account is thanking us. we're saving for a house though.

budgets are great so you can see where all of your money goes and where you can cut it. obviously i dont know what you rhusband makes or waht your mortgage is, but there's always room to cut on spending. shoot me an email or FB message if you want help or have more questions

buckeyethor · January 2011

You don't have any choices for negative every month. LOL

shmoozer · January 2011

buckeyethor:
You don't have any choices for negative every month. LOL

Not that it's funny, but that's funny! It's such a reality. Some months are better than others. H is 100% commision.

Temp67694062501186 · January 2011

Def. try a budget first, or at least a tracking sheet so you can get an idea of what you need to cut down on. We don't actually budget, but we do track and it allows us to see, daily, where the money is going and what we need to do for the rest of the month.

I will say that we live a very frugal life compared to how we were living before I SAH. Granted we also had a slow kind of transition, so it wasn't a huge shock. After maternity leave, I went back to my job, but at only 3-4 days a week, vs the 5-6 days I was working. I was let go three months later (due to my availability - I couldn't work 5-6 days, and they didn't want to hire a second permanant employee to cover those shifts). I took another part time job, even fewer hours per week, with some work at home conveinence. And four months after that, it was decided that I would just simply SAH completely. The little money I was bringing in was nice, believe me, and I miss it. But life in general is also easier without having to figure out childcare - but that's only because I refused to put Gabby in traditional childcare, and working around J's schedule and MIL's availability was just not working out.

I agree w/ bucks tho - I am going crazy here without my ME time, without my adult time. Even working part-time, it was a NEEDED escape. I don't know if SAHM is for me forever, but right now we are making it work.

I didn't answer the poll. We have a couple of different savings - emergency fund, regular savings, etc so I don't feel comfortable answering that because the reg savings changes based on needs and the emergency fund stays the same (currently, and hopefully for a while!!!). We had to struggle to get those to where they are right now tho - especially after several unforseen expenses popped up like a flippin MONTH after I quit my job, and within two weeks of finding out I was pregnant. Geez, life... do you have to be such a biitch? But I will say that we live very tightly right now. It is NOT ideal... and I want to work very badly (not only for my sanity, but for the income) but it's just not something I can do right now (given the pregnancy, J's schedule, etc).

Have you tried living on your H's income alone - like without touching a cent of yours? Try that for a month or two and see how you come out feeling. Then you can maybe get an idea of how much you would need to bring in (and how much you would need to work) to feel ok.

chocoholicchick · January 2011

We budget down to the last dollar every month so that we try not to have anything leftover. That means that we budget for transfers to savings/investment accounts and soon enough to a college plan in addition to our expenses. It's been hard for us to transition from two incomes to one, but we're lucky that we had such a long adjustment period before the baby arrives.

If you guys don't budget now, definitely track your last 6 months' worth of expenses and see how you can cut back on things. Every month, our biggest issue is that we eat out all.the.time. Seriously, that is our worst habit ever. We still have an unusually large amount budgeted for groceries and eating out since we use eating out as a form of entertainment. lol.

GL and I highly recommend creating an account on Mint.com to help you. It's a free budget tracking website that is a real eye opener, even if you track your expenses pretty closely already. ::hugs::

Temp67694062501186 · January 2011

buckeyethor:
You don't have any choices for negative every month. LOL

Uhm YES... so true. Or else you are dipping into savings and then frantically trying to bring it back up. See my previous post about a disasterous (sp?) month right after I quit and then found out I was pg.

colenmike · January 2011

Thanks for all the advice.

I did starta n etsy shop but no takers yet...I know that will take a bit to get going though.

Bucks I'll fb message you for sure.

I was just on maternity leave so basically for a month we didn't get my pay and we managed. Everyone's comfort level is different I guess so our checking was a little lower just the other day but that was because we started eating out more since I was coming back to work.

I have already called and we can refinance and save 300 bucks a month!!! Plus my original plan was we have a loan and I want that taken care of before I would quit (its 300 a month) and I was going to take my whole paycheck to pay that off these next few weeks so it would be like we don't have my income and we're paying it off to save anyways.

So right there is 600 saved plus daycare is 600 a month so if I don't work thats 1200 right there. And I'll be cutting back and switching cell phone providers but still having what I have so I don't feel like I don't have anything and we cut a few things from cable that we don't need.

But I found I spent so much less while at home not because I wasn't getting paid but because I was busy with Ava and enjoying that and cooking or cleaning whereas at work I get bored and buy online etc and I was able to really meal plan and save money because I had time to find deals and what not.

Anyways thanks for your help.

H has a base salary and commission and in my budget I always only use the lowest his commissions have ever been to figure this out so if he did have a great month which could be anywhere from 0-2000 more that always went to savings and would definitely help.

Le sigh I have to figure this out.

Thanks again

chocoholicchick · January 2011

It sounds like you guys are already making progress Cole! I will be a SAHM in the beginning too, and I already predict not going out to eat as often in the first few months at least. We also spent a ton of money traveling out of state once a month, which is definitely not happening after July. So yeah, you find ways to reconfigure your budget. As long as you plan conservatively (and you do based on your last response), I think you can find comfort in doing whatever you want to do. Keep us posted lady!

Jessica&Brett · January 2011

We definitely don't have as much extra spending money as we did before, and have to go out to dinner less. But I think you can make it work. You just have to budget and live within your means.

Right now H has a very good job, and so it's possible - but we both know that if things change, there's always the possibility that I'll have to go back to work.

We started putting my paycheck directly into savings about a month before we found out I was pregnant. It was a nice way to save up some money and get some practice living on one salary.

Also, what Bucks said is true - some days I wish I had somewhere to go to have some adult time, but mostly I am happy for the time I get to spend with Fin.

Finally - I am sure things will get easier. You may find that SAH makes more sense, but I am sure the first few weeks/days are hard. I know they would be for me!

kokomama · January 2011

shmoozer:
I question this for whether or not this will ever be an option for us. The health insurance is what kicks it for us. H is self-employed and I provide the health insurance. I will always have to work because of this.

I'm in this situation too. We're lucky that H is home during the day, and I am home most nights, so we don't have to pay for childcare. I think we'd get by money-wise if we were just on his salary, but I'm not sure how we'd manage without my health insurance benefits.

buckeyethor · January 2011

Jessica&Brett:

We definitely don't have as much extra spending money as we did before, and have to go out to dinner less. But I think you can make it work. You just have to budget and live within your means.

Right now H has a very good job, and so it's possible - but we both know that if things change, there's always the possibility that I'll have to go back to work.

We started putting my paycheck directly into savings about a month before we found out I was pregnant. It was a nice way to save up some money and get some practice living on one salary.

Also, what Bucks said is true - some days I wish I had somewhere to go to have some adult time, but mostly I am happy for the time I get to spend with Fin.

Finally - I am sure things will get easier. You may find that SAH makes more sense, but I am sure the first few weeks/days are hard. I know they would be for me!

Some day my house will be clean enough to have a playdate here.

Jessica&Brett · January 2011

buckeyethor:
Jessica&Brett:

We definitely don't have as much extra spending money as we did before, and have to go out to dinner less. But I think you can make it work. You just have to budget and live within your means.

Right now H has a very good job, and so it's possible - but we both know that if things change, there's always the possibility that I'll have to go back to work.

We started putting my paycheck directly into savings about a month before we found out I was pregnant. It was a nice way to save up some money and get some practice living on one salary.

Also, what Bucks said is true - some days I wish I had somewhere to go to have some adult time, but mostly I am happy for the time I get to spend with Fin.

Finally - I am sure things will get easier. You may find that SAH makes more sense, but I am sure the first few weeks/days are hard. I know they would be for me!

Some day my house will be clean enough to have a playdate here.

Get on that, could you?

Jessica&Brett · January 2011

buckeyethor:
Jessica&Brett:

We definitely don't have as much extra spending money as we did before, and have to go out to dinner less. But I think you can make it work. You just have to budget and live within your means.

Right now H has a very good job, and so it's possible - but we both know that if things change, there's always the possibility that I'll have to go back to work.

We started putting my paycheck directly into savings about a month before we found out I was pregnant. It was a nice way to save up some money and get some practice living on one salary.

Also, what Bucks said is true - some days I wish I had somewhere to go to have some adult time, but mostly I am happy for the time I get to spend with Fin.

Finally - I am sure things will get easier. You may find that SAH makes more sense, but I am sure the first few weeks/days are hard. I know they would be for me!

Some day my house will be clean enough to have a playdate here.

Fraire · January 2011

I guess I'm not a SAHM, but I do take Gigi to work with me full time. It's a business my parents are just getting started on and I asked if I could be in charge of that business and they agreed. My parents also allowed me to take Gigi with me, but since there are still no profits to the business I'm on a little bit less than half of my salary prior to giving birth. Since we are horrible with finances and recently moving to our house and christmas happening, I was kindda forced to get a part time job in nursing. Up to today its still so hard when thursdays and every other sunday comes along! I HATE being away from her! The truth is, that with time it does seem to get easier. For me the hardest part was knowing that every time I was away she would cry so much that I felt she actually knew I was away. Last thursday I got home and to my suprise, my little girl has gotten so used to my parents now that she didn't seem to care I arrive! =(. Haha believe it or not, that actually made me feel better because somehow I feel she doesn't suffer so much when I leave her any more. I guess everything takes time. J keeps telling me to get more hours at my part time job but I refuse to do it! I rather look for something outside and live with limits than sacrifice my time with my baby. I know its hard and that you must feel like you are hurting to death when you leave her but i do agree with pp that starting slow actually helps. What helped me the most is that I left her for 2 hrs thefirst time and then 4 hrs, until I got to 8hrs....but that was just too much so I lowered my hours between 4-7...not much of a difference but to me it means alot!!!Best of luck to you and I hope you can figure things out! I really can't find anything better than spending time with my baby so I thing I know how you feel! Event though I get to take my baby with me to work, I really wish i could stay home.....

MrsLaurenandDan · January 2011

I'm going to have to come back to this thread for sure! I think I may be a SAHM for a few years while DH does his post-docs. We'll be moving about every 2 years at that point, and the idea of finding a teaching job, and a day care provider for only a year or two seems silly.

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