OMG! My SK's have been amazing this week! I spoke to them, on Monday when they came over, about how I want to have them see me more as a parent and that's why I got onto them about the rules. They both just said they know that and they love me. They both told me they were just surprised is all because DH always is the one who does the punishing/getting onto etc. They just always saw me as "cool stepmom" who apparently they think I will always let them get away with anything.
Since that talk with the wonderful hugs and kisses they have been soooo good! It has been amazing! We always talk and are open with them...but this was such on a different level that I think the kids and me finally truly connected. They get me and I get them now. PERFECT!
Re: Happy Update: Dreading this week vent
There's another girl on here who sometimes posts that had a HORRIBLE stepmother that has been so helpful to me. She gave me a pretty good list of "dos" and "don'ts" - the biggest DO was to be an authority figure and to be involved in punishment. I was very surprised by that. And I have to say.....SD behaves MUCH better when I am straight with her than when DH is. I am not sure why that is but I think part of it is that she does not have a female in her life that provides any rules or punishment for her at all. I wonder if that is why Sunday with my SD went so well - because I was very clear about my expectations for her.
Clearly, I am just trying to wiggle my way around this mess so I feel it is ridiculous for me to provide any sort of advice...but I can provide encouragement. I am so glad that things are going better for you all and good luck!