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Too much?
My son wants an Xbox 360 Kinex for his birthday in June. As a family we already own a Wii and PS3, so naturally I told him no. While he does have some learning difficulties, he is a rather smart child. He tried to bargain with me, telling me he would only get 100s on his spelling test from now till his birthday. But that for him is not only completely possible its more than probable as he has only received one other grade than 100 (a 92) on his spelling tests all year. He has started saving his money from chores and the like and helping with snow shoveling, did I mention he is 7, and has already accumulated about 40 dollars. I see that he is serious and I know that he is willing to work for it, although I don't think he will reach the amount he needs by June. He's a really good kid who will do the wrong thing once in a while, but for the most part is just a really good kid. Is buying the Xbox too much? H and I are both on the fence with this one. We don't want to spoil our children, but on the other hand is that spoiling? I don't think so, but I'm not sure if that's just not too much to be giving my kids. (My son says he will put the Xbox in the playroom so his sister and he can play it. The Wii is in the living room and PS3 in our bedroom) More and more I feel I may be telling him no, not because he doesn't need it, but because I don't want it to seem like he is being spoiled which is nuts because he is just this sweet boy.
Re: Too much?
I thought one game system was the same as the next, until a friend of mine was telling me that her son (age 9) wanted an Xbox Kinex for Christmas (they already had a Wii). I guess the feeling with elementary age boys is that the Kinex is for "big boys" and the Wii is a baby set!
That being said, you have to balance what he wants with the family budget. Is an "upgraded" game system in your budget? How about all of the new games you/son will need?
Also, how long ago did you get the other gaming systems, and were they HIS choice, or what you / your H decided to buy? I'd be hesitant to buy a new system if you just purchased one for him last year because "he had to have a Wii," but if you and your H made that choice, that is different. The PS3 sounds like something more for you or your H, so just b/c that is in the house I wouldn't hold that against my kid!
If it were me, I would not base whether or not my child gets a toy / electronics they want on grades. You get good grades in school b/c learning is importrant and is it's own reward. I don't believe in bribes - what happens later, when there's nothing to earn? Do you become a slacker?
However, if he wants to work and save money towards games, that is his choice.
I'd buy it (we can afford something like that), but let him know that he will probably have to pay for some games on his own.
I think Wahoo brings up some excellent points that need to be taken into consideration.
If you feel you can afford it, and depending on how the Wii was brought into the house, the fact that he's saving up for it himself is something I'd want to encourage and I'd be willing to make up the difference. Or I'd match $ for $, or something like that. OR I'd buy the game and tell him to use his $$ to buy games.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Why don't you offer to match everything he saves- that way, he can continue to learn a lesson about the value of the dollar and saving money but it still rewarded for his effort by you helping him with the difference. I think he's really appreciate something he helped to purchase with his own money.
We have the Kinect and LOVE it!
An American Girl's Travels
I don't think you should base it on grades either, but him being willing to work and save for it I think is a really good learning opportunity. I did something very similar as a kid to earn a puppy (although, I was several years older).
I would say yes if he is willing to pay, but make sure he understands that the privilege can still be taken away if his grades don't stay up. School comes first.
I agree with PPs who say let him earn it. If he's serious about it, he'll continue to save his chore money. Just let him know ahead of time how much you're willing to put in and how much he'll have to earn.
On a side note, we have all three game systems because some games are only available on one or are just better on one system over the other. But I would sit down and look at the game options for the Xbox. How many is he actually interested in playing? Will it be worth it in the long run? Since the Wii is generally for kid & family-style games, we hardly use ours anymore. It's kind of taking up space.
Part of life is learning to deal with disappointment. I know you don't ever want to disappoint your son, but if you make the decision NOT to get the XBox, he'll be okay. It would be better for him to not get the XBox than to become greedy, spoiled, and entitled.
I agree with the others that if he wants the XBox, he should have to pay half. Don't make it his birthday present; this is a goal he's going to achieve on his own.
My parents did this with me (you should have seen the look on my dad's face when my 10 year old self came to him with $175 and said I was ready to go buy my TV) and it really teaches you to work for what you want and appreciate what you have.
The PS3, H play mostly, with very few game exceptions. The Wii was a Christmas present for me about four years ago. The kids and H play with it mostly at this point. My brother has the Xbox Kinex which is how my son came across it. He like that there are games to jump around and use his own body to make the characters move. I think maybe the option of going $ for $ is the best one. It is definitely within the birthday present budget, but I am thinking making him earn the money may show him a better lesson.
As for the school rewards, we have our own achievement board at home for school tests and the like, but mostly I am just happy both my kids love school and do so well. I just want so much for them to realize that H and I are very proud of them. We tell them and celebrate major achievements, but I was just wondering if maybe since he was the only child in his entire grade to go that long of a stretch of 100s on tests if maybe I wasn't making enough of a deal and should've given him something extra. Thanks for all the advice. It was helpful.
Until my nephew was around 7 years old, I used to buy him some type of gift for his birthday. It was usually something I talked over with my sister (what he had/wanted) and/or asked him about. Around 7, he began to want and ask for lots of things and my sister was finding it frustration to decide what to buy and what not to buy. Much like you, she didn't want him to have 'too much' but that's a hard concept to explain to a young one who's just begining to learn about prices and money and value.
So I asked him, "Why don't you save-up your birthday money and buy it?". Well, this idea struck gold. We explained what birthday money was (my grandmother would always include a $5 check in her cards to the great-grandkids) and how to save.
Anyway, without making this post too long, I think you can reinforce the values of working and saving around this request. No, its not "too much", becuase your family has other gaming systems, its just something he wants, may use and is very motivated to get. These are all great things.
If he has some savings and gets some birthday money (what you normally budget for a gift) and maybe saves some more - then he can get it. I'm sure he would love to go to the store with his own money (proudly earned and saved) to buy it.
I think you should make him save up the entire amount needed to purchase it. It's okay if he won't save enough to buy it for his birthday- he won't die if it takes him a little longer.
Regarding his promise to get 100s on his spelling tests if you buy it for him, I don't like the idea of rewarding kids for good grades. He should be getting good grades because studying and working hard is the right thing to do, not because he gets a toy. He needs to learn that the reward for good grades usually comes later in life and not always in the form of trendy material objects.
I agree that he'd probably get more out of this experience if you tell him that he's welcome to purchase the system if he saves up the money for it.
If you're afraid of spoiling him, maybe working a worthy charity into this experience could help. You could remind him that some kids aren't as lucky as him and they don't have families with the means/desire to give them nice gifts. Or remind him that he's lucky to be able to spend the money he's earned/received on fun things ... some kids have to work to support their family. The little nagging thought of, "You know, some kids out there really have NOTHING, and so I don't really need this thing," would oftentimes keep me from wasting my money on a trendy material item, or from asking for something really expensive for my birthday or Christmas.
Maybe he could donate one of his old systems, or some other toys, to a charity or a toy drive. Or he could donate some of the money he's saved (or the money he'd get from selling the old toys/game systems on eBay or at a garage sale) to a charity that he likes.
From what you've said, he sounds like a good kid who knows that nice things must be earned.