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how do you deal with job rejection? Am I nuts?
I finished my MA in 2008, and it took eight job interviews over about eight months to get my first 'real job' in my very small field. For most of those, getting the rejection letter caused me to fling myself on my bed and sob hysterically.
After 2 1/2 years, I'm so ready to move on. I just went on a first and second interview for an organization I would LOVE to work for in a unique job that would have been challenging and a great learning experience with great long-term prospects.
I was one of the final 2 candidates and didn't get it. I tried so hard not to get my hopes up, but I couldn't help it. I spend two evenings crying off and on. My usually sympathetic husband is looking at me like I have two heads.
How do you feel after getting being disappointed? Do you cry? How do you keep from getting discouraged?
Re: how do you deal with job rejection? Am I nuts?
I changed my name
Hang in there! I was unemployed for over a year and a half, and I was always disappointed when companies chose another candidate, even it I ended up not being interested in in the job.
Trying not to be disappointed wasn't effective for me, so I gave myself permission to be upset for an afternoon or evening. Then, I made myself focus on something else- a project in the house or the garden, a book, or trying a new recipe. Focus on things you can control
OMG, this just happened to me last week! i was super bummed for a few hours, shed a tear or two, and then was like, "Fuuck it, it's their loss!" i also figured that it isn't THE job for me, otherwise i would have gotten it.
i took a day off from job searching to just let myself recover (if you will) and got back on the job search a couple days later. onto the next and all that jazz.
i'm not going to lie, i really wanted that job, but i have to accept that i didn't get it, and realize that my job is still out there...i just gotta find it!
good luck!
Thanks for the replies. I know I'm definitely not the only one going through this. Getting a job was so emotionally exhausting the first time around, and doing it again in a worse job market feels so depressing. The good part about being in a very small field is that I'm almost always going to get an interview when I apply and I'm always treated very professionally, the bad news is that months can go by between finding openings I qualify for, and rejection feels sooo much more personal. And I often end up running into the people who rejected me at conferences :P
backinpgh, I'm sorry you've been treated like that, it's so sad that non-response has practically become the norm
Good luck with your job search.
You got a rejection letter???
Usually they wussy out and vanish and send you nothing. Email them to ask if the job was filled...and you will get more of nothing in reply.
Rejection letters are rare these days. Hearing nothing and then deducing "I guess I didn't get the job" is the norm these days.
haha... yes, I think I got a formal letter from everywhere where I was interviewed and subsequently rejected from. Oh, and one letter stated that I was scored as the #6 candidate for the job, so that in the event that the 5 people ahead of me died, I'd get it. They were almost all public-sector jobs, maybe 1 or 2 non-profits. I had no idea that I was lucky to get rejection letters!
I actually didn't get my rejection letter yet this time, but I'd been told that they would make a decision within a couple days, so I called.
I am trying to be constructive here. I do think you are being over-emotional about this and over-reacting. It is entirely uderstandable to be disappointed and even sad...and I can understand shedding a tear or two. But what you described is over the top.
It makes me wonder if something about your being over-emotional came across in the interview...and that the interviewers felt something was just...off.
I think it's good to let yourself feel emotions, but don't let them take you over. What I usually do at those times is to take some time and allow myself to be depressed...take long baths, watch movies, eat a special treat, etc. Then the next day I may still be feeling disappointed, but I try to put it behind me and face forward.
I hate being defeated or feeling like I'm not good enough, so usually what ends up happening is that once I get over the disappointment I end up redoubling my efforts and becoming obstinately determined to do it. This is how I got into a number of audition-only music groups and graduate school...I fell on my face the first try and worked my rear end off for the second.
Just have some confidence. You can do it, too.
I don't think I've ever cried over a job I didn't get. I usually take the approach that it wasn't meant to be, and I may not have been happy there, so there's something better out there. I liken it to buying a house: if someone rejects my offer for it, there must have been something "wrong" with it that wouldn't have made me happy.
I also approach jobs as something I prepare for in terms of interviews, and I'll do the typical followup, but I assume I didn't get it and am pleasantly surprised if they offer it. I guess it's my defense mechanism.
I have to agree with SunandRain in that I think crying hysterically (or even crying for more than a few minutes) is a bit over the top. Have you tried to figure out why you become so emotionally invested in a job?
Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
Don't drink the water.
Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
I like to think with any job, if you don't get it you aren't any worse off than you were before. You didn't lose anything you already had... If anything you gained some more interviewing experience.
So, keep your chin up and keep on trucking!
I agree with PP's. It is really disappointing and frustrating to get rejected. In my job search I actually interviewed for a couple of places that said they weren't all that interested in my experience and were interviewing more to see "who would fit in". Those rejections seemed more personal.
My only advice is to not get soooo emotional over these interviews. If you get to the point of sobbing over a rejection, you must get super elated over an offer. Those kind of emotions can cloud your thinking and you may end up accepting another position based on pure emotion (and not on whether it is a good fit for you and your goals).
Good luck! You're not alone -- the job market is really tough in many areas!
I didn't cry hysterically this time... that was referring to 2008, when I was a new grad who was broke, uninsured, and about to be homeless.
Certainly I'm in a much better place now that I have a stable (albeit sucky) job and am not on the brink of financial collapse.
I did cry a little bit, just not hysterically. I do have a hard time with disappointment. I didn't really get my hopes up at first, but the first interview went so well and the boss even went out of his way to tell me that he thought my resume was impressive. That didn't make me assume I'd get it, but hearing more about the job got me pretty excited about it.