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As the vacation turns (likely a DD)
So I'm working on planning our summer vacation this weekend. I'm about 1/3rd of the way done (booked some of the hotels, picked the cities, etc). Cool. To sum it up, we're driving to Spain.
A friend of mine indicated that she was interested in checking out Spain. Cool. I thought it would be awesome, if she flew over, to meet her in either Madrid or Barcelona and hang for a couple days and then she could go on and do whatever it she wants to do (she's got friends/co-workers in Madrid). H knows her, and would be happy to tag along when we hang out, or equal happy to do his own thing while she and I hang. Trust me on this, this is how we roll.
Anyway, she sent me a message saying, "hey the road trip sounds cool and it's cheap to fly into Rome, mind if I come with?" That is, come with us for the entire 2wks of driving! Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful drive (basically through the Italian and French Rivieras) and she's sweet. But still, 3 adults and an English Setter.... is this a good plan?
My worry is she will not find long-distance driving pleasant (8hrs in a car is 8hrs in a car Riviera or not... trust me, I've driven from here to the French Riviera and across America) and have a pissy vacation. I then worry that the unhappiness will spread and it will bring H and I down as well (and we work too hard and are committing too much to have a sh!tty time). Basically, I don't want to be Julie the Cruise Director. It's cool, if friend wants to come, but it is what it is, and I don't want the pressure of making every second thrilling. It's like a 2wk house guest, but in your car. KWIM?
So, my bottom line, should I agree, veto, or what?
FWIW, friend is sweet, funny, and fabulous. However, she's also very particular and not a 'roll with it' sort. Oh and i'll likely DD
Re: As the vacation turns (likely a DD)
This is exactly what I was thinking as I was reading your post. You'll feel obligated to make sure everyone is having a good time but also making sure that you and your H are getting the most out of your vacation.
In addition to 3 people and a dog, don't forget about all the luggage!
I would veto.
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Response to friend "Oh, that would be fun, but DH and I are using the drive as sort of an anniversary trip, if you know what I mean. Sorry. But I know we'll have fun in Spain!"
Good luck!
I personally don't think that I could have a 3rd person w/ H and I for 2 weeks solid. We get cranky from time to time when we've been together for a week on vacation, much less with another person for 2 weeks. Do you think her feelings would be hurt if you said that you were only wanting her to join for a portion of the trip? Maybe just say that you would like a little time just for you and your H.
Oh and would she be rooming with you too?
Many thanks! I seriously I thought I was the biggest b!tch ever, to be like, woah, woah, woah.
Anyway, I've no idea on rooming... we've already booked about a third of the hotels, so that's where we'll be. I imagine she'd try to get a single at the same places, but that stresses me, b/c we're staying where we're comfortable (ie dog friendly and not super expensive-- the thrill of hotel staying is gone for us).... That said, if she's more inclined for splurges, well IDK. I mean, whatever, but I've no intention of changing our arrangements.
WRT the car, we did bring over our cars, so we'll be in a Honda Pilot. Not huge (by US standards) but do-able. We did a 12-hr road trip w/ my BFF over Xmas, but it was one way (ie she flew in to northern IT and then just drove home with us). She didn't complain, but I think that was some qual-time w/ Lucy (our dog). I mean, you all know I'm nuts and way too into Lucy, but that's a longass time to hang in the backseat w/ a medium sized, medium shedding dog. I think BFF could cope b/c it was, one day (long or not). Summer Friend, IDK... like I said, she's crazy nice, but she's also particular. Like she irons her jeans, so the idea of stray dog hair or eating at a side o' the road place sans shower and opportunity to touch up her subtle, but always there, makeup, not ok in her world.
My concern would be having alone time with H. There is just a different level of comfort when it is just the 2 of you, versus being with a 3rd person. While meeting up and doing stuff with her will be fun, I'd still want to have some of my vacation time for it to be just the 2 of us.
I'd do what PP said, and say that you want some alone time to celebrate your anniversary. That's probably the most tactful way of telling her no to the road trip portion of your trip.
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I've driven that exact route and pretty yes but long haha
And I agree that is too long to have a third person and no matter if she was a roll with it kind of gal eventually you and your H would feel like you needed your own time and you don't want to have to worry about hurting her feelings when you want to branch off and do something and since you'd be with her for some of the time in Spain I think that is enough.
I've had vacations ruined or at least eh because of additional folks when I thought it was a good idea.
I like this. Bottom line is, you're having red flags already, so I would find a way out.
Don't let her do the whole trip with you.
Just tell her it's your and your husband's vacation and although you'd love to spend time with her in Spain, you'd also love to have just one-on-one time with your husband.
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