August 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
baby question
hey ladies!
I don't know if you all remember me. I used to post alot around the wedding, but haven't done much since 
We were married 1Aug09 in NC. Anyway, my husband and I are considering TTC in the fall/winter, but of course, we have some concerns/reservations. We both have careers that we have worked very hard for and definitely both want to keep. I saw that many of you are pregnant or have already delivered (congrats btw!!!). For any of you in dual income homes, how did you budget/plan money for child care and time to spend with the baby? How do you feel about spending such limited week day time with your baby? Do you think it is enough? Thanks for your thoughts!
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Re: baby question
I don't have any great answers for you. I'm not yet TTC for many of the same concerns that you have mentioned. Paying for a baby scares me, not having enough time to spend with my baby scares me, and the whole change in lifestyle really scares me. However, there are plenty of dual income homes out there, so it obviously works. I have several IRL friends who have recently had babies and they just try to enjoy the time that they are able to spend together as a family. They also researched daycare a lot to make sure that they were sending their babies to reputable places that would not just sit their child in front of a TV all day long.
Unrelated, but I wanted to say that I do remember you and your wedding pictures are beautiful!
I think it all depends on your situation. DH and I both have pretty set schedules, and we're both home by 5 or 6 every night and off on weekends. We started our savings together from before we were even married and have continued to add to it. We are very lucky that we won't do traditional daycare. My mom is a SAHM/W, and she's going to be our LO's primary caregiver. We'll both continue to work full-time after she's here and while I would love to work part-time or reduce my hours, it's more beneficial for our family for both of us to continue to work full-time. I feel like I leave work early enough every night to dedicate that time and the weekends to our LO. I hope this helps!
I remember you as well. Welcome back, you should come by and visit more often.
We are actually a one income family right now. My DH just graduated and is preparing for his Nursing Boards in early February. As far as planning, we looked at what I made and determined that I would be able to support us (at the time we were only thinking one baby mind you), until DH finished school and found a job. We were fortunate that we found out we were having twins in late January (wow a year ago today to be exact, ha ha) so we took a majority of our tax refund and put it into savings so that we would have "extra" money just for the babies and baby emergencies.
I am fortunate that my mother watches the boys during the day. Currently my DH is there on most days as well, but she is their primary caregiver during the weekdays while I am at work. I am usually home by 4:00 and I get a few hours with them in the evening as they go to bed anywhere between 7:00 & 8:00. I hate the days when I get home and am told what I mis, but there is no way around it. I have accepted that even though I "missed" something new, I will see it, it just may not be the first time they do it. On days where my DH is gone all day as well, he misses them too.
With all this said, DH will be working Full-time hopefully in the next few months. It isn't feasable for us to continue to only have one income at this point as things are getting really tight with trying to keep up with the cost of formula, diapers, mortgage, etc. We already spend quality time with them on the weekends and will continue to do so once DH works.
Sorry this got so long, but good luck with your TTC adventures.
I just try to remember that there are people out there much worse off than we are. Life always seems to have a way of working itself out for everyone. We have to be a 2 income family for the lifestyle we've created. I don't think about all the time that I won't be seeing my kids, because I'd go crazy realizing all the things I might miss. Like katsblaze, I realize that I'll see everything they do eventually, even if it's not the first time. I'm also a firm believer in good child care. Kids need to interact with other kids to really learn how to be a kid. They learn sharing and motor skills by watching each other. To me, child care is a great part of growing up. Plus, in a few years, they'll be off to school, so they won't miss me for most of the day.
Our main goal is to try not to work late on the same days and save at least one weekend day to do something special with our kids. I'd also love for DH to do a dad/baby day once a month, even if it's a girl. Thankfully, he's agreed. I just always felt like my dad was out of the picture when I was growing up, even when he was there.
Thank you all so much for the messages! They were a good and greatly appreciated reassurance that we can do this.