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Update
Happy Friday everyone 
Well J and I had a really productive talk yesterday about everything. He sincerely apologized for what he said and when he said it and said he felt like a monster all day for hurting me that way. He said he has a hard time with positive reinforcement because growing up he was only surrounded by negative reinforcement. He says he has a mental block when it comes to encouraging people in a positive way and he really needs to work on it.
I told him that I feel like we need to be more involved in each others lives, even on really small levels. Things like him knowing when I have tests at school so he can ask me about it and make sure I'm prepared. We have just been disconnected from each other on so many levels lately that we need to work on being more involved in smaller parts of each others lives.
He told me he doesn't have this ideal image of me in his mind of how I should look. He says he just wants me to experience the feeling of accomplishing something so great like feeling healthier and he's just been frustrated because he knows I have the ability to do it, I just lack the discipline. I told him we need to be more active together in order to hold each other accountable. It's really difficult in the winter time to get motivated to do anything but even if it just means walking a few laps around the mall we need to get out together.
To be completely honest, having everyone's input, talking to my close friend that's the personal trainer, talking to my mom, and having some time to think about it I was able to gather my thoughts and really talk productively about it. I feel much much better after our conversation and I feel like for once I was able to get through clearly to J to explain what I need from him.
Re: Update
That's great, I'm really happy you were able to talk to him and have a good convo.
Did you mention doing counseling together or individually?
Thats great. I wouldn't wait a month or two if you don't have to. Have you looked into governemnt health care in the meantime of waiting for your employer?
That's good to hear.
Did you mention your dislike of him smoking?
Bella's Bistro - My Dairy Free Food Blog
Yeah I told him it was really hard to sit there and listen to him nitpick my choices while he was smoking and that it was really hypocritical. He completely agreed and apologized for the times he's copped an attitude with me over me telling him to quit. He's only been smoking for a few months and he's already quitting. I just have to keep reminding him of what it's doing to his health. He loves to run and I told him if he continues to smoke when he starts running in the spring he's going to be kicking himself for smoking.
Kudos to both of you for being able to own-up to collective mistakes and be able to rationally address some hard stuff. Wish you both good luck and positive vibes!
I didn't reply to the original post because I felt like I was just going to bash your H, and I didn't want to do that.
I am SO SO SO glad to read this update. Continue to remind him if you need to that you need positive reinforcement, but remember to do it in a positive way
Good luck, and I hope things continue to get better!!!
Welcome to the world Finley Michael - born 2/13/2010
Baby Sister is coming soon!
I'm glad you talked to him about the issue. It sounds like it was a really productive conversation and you feel better about it. I agree that working out together is a good idea, but I'd be afraid of him being obsessive about it. Like him having a problem if you miss a workout or aren't super enthused about it.