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Help me diffuse my pissed offness w/ DH
This morning I get DS dressed and I take him downstairs with me. DH comes downstairs once he is dressed for work and is watching DS so I can start working. DH appears at the door to our office saying DS had a boo boo. I am thinking okay just change the diaper. Nope, evidently DH was in the kitchen and DS was with him. DS opened the cabinet with dishwashing detergent and bleach spilled on the floor. I am not even sure how this happens. One I never use bleach and didn't even know any was under the cabinet, let alone why the top wasn't on well enough that it just "falls open". Two, DS is not supposed to play with those cabinet doors, ever. Three, DH was supposed to childproof them over a month ago which he procrastinated on so that is why number two is important. Four, DS was wearing his birthday Nike outfit that his daycare teachers gave him for his birthday and it now has bleach stains on it.
Thank goodness he did not ingest anything but I had to ask 50 million questions to ensure that was the case. I am working on letting DH do things in his own time, but this is clearly something that after procrastinating one too many times I should have just done myself. Note to self, leaving childproofing of the home to a man that procrastinates is a bad idea.
Re: Help me diffuse my pissed offness w/ DH
I am working on this with Mr E as well. Did you tell your DH to take care of his sons BooBoo? Oh and your DH will be cleaning that mess up also right?
Growing up, if you ever heard any type of commotion(signaling some sort of accident) you asked the person if they were alive, and did not think of approaching the scene. It was well understood that (a) since they made the mess they clean it up (b) having a visual of the mess would most likely upset you.
oh no! Feel free to rip him a new one today and make him feel bad for what he did. Once he apologies then let the issue drop - can he childproof it today/tonight? I am guessing he felt pretty crappy as soon as it happened.
Just be gald the outfit wasn't one you paid some good money for.
Ditto on this.
I've come to learn that I should really just do whatever I feel is pretty important to me. Waiting on my DH to do things he doesn't take interest in will just take too long. Take it as a lesson learned and if he gives you crap when the tables are turned, just point out this incident
.
I'm just glad your DS is ok.
Oh he definitely cleaned it up and wiped down DS to make sure that he had no bleach on his hands or exposed skin. DH just called and he does feel bad. He asked about the latches that he bought a month ago and said he would put them on the cabinet that holds the stuff that is not child friendly tonight. So I feel much better about the situation.
Sugrfrejaz, I actually feel worse it wasn't an outfit I paid for, lol. I am embarassed that we ruined a gift from his teachers who used their personal money to buy it.
I know! I hate ruining gifts too. Yay for Dh saying he'll do it tonight. Hopefully this was a good wakeup call.
Ditto. I also think if you leave him alone, he'll just continue to feel bad. But if you try to make him feel bad - or just even express your totally justifiable anger - then human nature is to defend oneself.
For the "whose timeline" thing, what sometimes works for me is:
- "Honey, would you humor me on this one and just do it now?" I'm not saying my way is right but just that it's important to me. It avoids the argument of which way is better, lets him still think it's no big deal but he'll do it now just to humor me.
- When I ask him to do something, I ask him when he will do it by, letting him set the deadline.
- When he does get stuff done, I am sure to physically thank him - I'm talking a hug, you dirty-minded folks. I respond much more to words, he to touch. If he just hugged me but didn't say the words "thank you" I'd feel stiffed. So I try to remember to make sure to thank him the way it resonates with him.