Do you ever get scared.... (PR related)

pondering_gal · January 2011

We are by no means TTC, but plan on trying hopefully in the next year or two.

With all the pregnancy annoucements lately, it makes it sound so easy to get pregnant, but I know that's not the case.

Is anyone else afraid that it won't be as easy? That you'll have problems trying to get pregnant? The thought of it terrifies me. I want a baby some day, I'm just worried it won't happen as easily, or that something is wrong with myself or DH.

I'm assuming most women have this fear, it's just been on my mind with all the baby talk.

Dyork · January 2011

I worry about this any time TTC comes up in conversation. DH & I are in the same situation, we wont be trying for another year or 2.

But nagging in the back of my mind is the idea that I wont be able to. I'm sure it will all work out in the end though, we've always talked about adopting. So if we can't make a baby, we'll end up adopting. Even if we do have our own child we've discussed adoption for the 2nd one.

ead1975 · January 2011

Absolutely. I'll be 36 this year, and we're waiting until next year to even think about trying, so I worry all the time that it just won't happen for us. I never even contemplated having a kid until I met Alan, so I try to tell myself that if it's doesn't happen, it's ok. We'll just travel more and have dogs. But the last thing I want is to wake up 10 years from now regretting that we never had a kid.

It's rough. I wish we'd met each other years ago so that timing wasn't an issue. There's a lot we'd like to do before we have a kid, and now we feel like we have to rush to do everything because the clock is ticking. And who knows if it'll even happen?

Mia2700 · January 2011

Absolutely! Our current plan is to wait about 2 years, but I also think what if it takes awhile and I'm starting at 30, so I could screw myself by waiting now if it takes a long time to get PG - and we currently plan to have 4-5 children so I need time on my side. Also, what if we can't get PG at all.. do we find out why, will one person resent the other.. we've never discussed alternatives, in fear of putting the jinx on our baby-makers.

...this topic freaks me the f out.

heathbar10210 · January 2011

I was never really nervous about it until I read an article recently. I am 30 and my husband and I do not plan on TTC for at least 2 years and I know the longer we wait the slimer my chances of becoming pregnant. However I want some time just my husband and I before we try so we will just keep our fingers crossed. If it does not happen then we will travel a lot.

rccola1981 · January 2011

I worry about it a lot...DH is convinced there won't be any problems but I still worry...I'm not sure whether we would adopt or try fertility treatments if there is an issue...

Anabeth420 · January 2011

I worry about it both ways... my mom was fertile Myrtle and had 3 kids "accidentally" until she "tried" to have a baby, and then needed IUI.

My thyroid disorder "says" I should have trouble, and I just came off birth control for the first time in 10 years, so my OBGYN said "said" i'd have trouble... so I worry that we might not be able to, and in the same thought I question the possibility of being PG every cycle.

chelley599 · January 2011

I worry sometimes because most of the femles have trouble conceiving on my dad's side due to major thyroid issues. I will take it as it comes I guess

nfp147 · January 2011

We have just started TTC and I worry about it all the time. I'm 36 in three weeks and overweight.

chantico23 · January 2011

I worry about this a lot. That's why I decided to go ahead and get off of BC even though we aren't yet TTC. I want (more) kids desperately, and part of me is afraid that because I want them so badly (and worry about not being able to have any) that the resulting stress will in turn make me unable to conceive. I have to remind myself that God knows best and has it all taken care of.

coppcw08 · January 2011

Dyork:

I worry about this any time TTC comes up in conversation. DH & I are in the same situation, we wont be trying for another year or 2.

But nagging in the back of my mind is the idea that I wont be able to. I'm sure it will all work out in the end though, we've always talked about adopting. So if we can't make a baby, we'll end up adopting. Even if we do have our own child we've discussed adoption for the 2nd one.

This exactly. Clinton & I have always said we want to have one of our own & adopt our second. But I've always been scared I won't be able to get pregnant, or it'll be difficult & complicated. My mom tried for six years & had 2 miscarriages before she had my sister. But then when my sister & BIL decided to TTC, they got pregnant with my niece on their first try. So who knows what will happen with me.

Boynton1286 · January 2011

I think that you all know my answer to this question! I worry WAY more than I should which is probably what is hindering us from getting PG now. We have passed all of our fertility tests with flying colors and the dr and I decided today to let us try for a few months before we take the next step.

My mom had both of us as Oops Babies, she got PG on BC both times and she didn't know she was PG right away either, so that freaks me out too.

christieep · January 2011

Okay I already replied to this message but apparently the "awesome" WiFi in this hotel didn't let it go through....

I taught Anatomy & Physiology for 4 years and it AMAZES me that people can even get pregnant. The number of things that have to go right at just the right time to make and keep a baby are astounding! I don't know how so many teenagers get pregnant! So knowing all of the ins and outs of make me so paranoid its going to be hard to get pregnant.

I am already 31 and we are not TTC until next April so I will be 33 by the time baby #1 would come out. Baby #2 can't wait that long after. I've seen those graphs that show what happens to your fertility as you go through your 30's....depressing!

Tisharp · January 2011

I'm terrified of this very issue. I'm going to be 34 on February 21st and we don't want to try for a year or two, but I am really scared I won't be able to get pregnant. I'm also really scared of the other issues that can come with later-in-life pregnancies... Down's Syndrome, etc.

OceanHutt · January 2011

ABSOLUTELY!

I'm overweight, so is DH, he has a medical condition that MIGHT prevent it, and I've been on BC for 10 years.....coming off for like a few months tops....I'm only 26 so thats in my favor, but other than that? cards stack up against us

we've talked about "what if" and it took me awhile to tell him I wanted a baby no matter what....but we got down to it and now i think he gets it....took the birth of his nephew to figure it out.....Just freaked out....I freak out every time i hold a baby, I see a baby, my friends talk about having babies or anounce they're pregnant....I want that...I want the surprise and the hope and the waiting....

I also know that this isnt the time to come off bc, and to try....if it were to happen it would be a statistical miracle....but right now i think its trying to get DH to go get tested to see what this is going to look like for us someday.....idk...

got this was a ramble....i saw this at work and it took me awhile to sit and write

alecat9 · January 2011

This worries me too, but mainly because Dh went through chemo 2 years ago and opted not to save any sperm so we plan on trying for on our own for a while and if it doesn't happen, then we will seek out other options. Age isn't so much a factor (I am in my early 20s, though Nick is in his late), but I'm a bit scared of adoption and haven't sorted out my feelings on IF.

Before I get jumped on about adoption I should explain. Nick has an adopted sister that his parents adopted from Romania when she was 2 and they found out later that she has something called RAD (reactive attactment disorder) which essentially means that she doesn't understand love and reacts violently to those around her who love her. The situation has caused a lot of heartache for their family and I am terrified we would adopt a child who would have the same issues.

Xan921 · January 2011

Jason and I have both been told we have issues that could cause us not to be able to get pregnant. We haven't used any kind of BC in over 6 years, and have never gotten pregnant, so I'm thinking our chances aren't good. Although we've both admitted we'd be super excited if we found out I was pregnant, we've also both agreed that we would never want to go through fertility treatments. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. If not, we're happy with each other and our cats. We've also agreed that if there does come a time when we really decide we want kids (right now, neither of us are even sure we want kids) that we'd like to adopt, but that's really expensive, so who knows.

pondering_gal · January 2011

See, and what scares me more than even trying is WHILE I'm pregnant. I don't want to go into these fears, as I'm sure a lot of the currently pregnant people have them, but I don't know how I would handle something going terribly wrong - a girl I went to high school with lost her baby in the 9th month...I don't know if I could go on, you know?

Shawnee11507 · February 2011

I'm terrified. I'm also paranoid that our child will have a disability. I'm 31, DH 32 and we're not going to try until at least the end of the year, if then. I'm ready but not sure how we will handle it financially. My mom has 4 sisters and only my mom and 1 sister were able to have children. The others either didn't get pregnant or had miscarriages. My mom had 1 miscarriage between me and my next sister (I'm the oldest). My sister is currently prego with her 2nd child. I have two female cousins. One hasn't tried yet. The first has 2 kids and has been trying to get prego with a 3rd for 5-6 years unsuccessfully (she is 32 now). I would adopt, but I'm afraid we won't be able to afford to.

I was just searching the internet the other day for natural help and found the herb "Vitex" recommended (it also helps make your cycle regular and decrease PMS symptoms) as well as diet- Cassava (Yuca) was recommended as well as dairy. Being a little overweight (BMI around 30) also was said to increase your chances for twins. I would LOVE to have twins. sigh

Tisharp · February 2011

alecat9:

Before I get jumped on about adoption I should explain. Nick has an adopted sister that his parents adopted from Romania when she was 2 and they found out later that she has something called RAD (reactive attactment disorder) which essentially means that she doesn't understand love and reacts violently to those around her who love her. The situation has caused a lot of heartache for their family and I am terrified we would adopt a child who would have the same issues.

I guess the way I look at it is, you just don't know what you're getting with a kid for sure anyway. You could have a child naturally that could have issues, god forbid, too. It's just kind of the luck of the draw, no matter how the child is "aquired" for lack of a better word. :-)

alecat9 · February 2011

TishaPayne:
alecat9:

Before I get jumped on about adoption I should explain. Nick has an adopted sister that his parents adopted from Romania when she was 2 and they found out later that she has something called RAD (reactive attactment disorder) which essentially means that she doesn't understand love and reacts violently to those around her who love her. The situation has caused a lot of heartache for their family and I am terrified we would adopt a child who would have the same issues.

I guess the way I look at it is, you just don't know what you're getting with a kid for sure anyway. You could have a child naturally that could have issues, god forbid, too. It's just kind of the luck of the draw, no matter how the child is "aquired" for lack of a better word. :-)

You are right to some extent, but things like RAD and other attactment disorders aren't birth defects. They are caused when a child is not provided the attention a small child needs, such as being held and cared for and if you adopt internationally and children older than infants (mainly those that grow up in orphanages), the odds increase dramatically that the children will have an attachment disorder to varying degrees.

I haven't written off adoption if it comes down to it, but I have personal experience with adoption that lends me to being wary of it. It isn't all roses and dandelions, you know? It simply is a fear I have.

My MIL had 3 boys and desperately wanted a daughter and her daughter ended up basically breaking her heart and was physically abusive to both her parents.

Do you ever get scared.... (PR related)

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