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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
My MIL handed me...
an article with the headline, "It's Not All About You" which kind of made me lift an eyebrown and then crack up. "Why are you handing this to me?"
She *said* it was because of the field I was going into. Which is counseling, and in that case, yes, it is in fact all about "them."
Anyhow, here's the article. Care to discuss?
http://www.mlive.com/living/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2011/01/researcher_shows_why_millennia.html
Willa 4.6.06 and Henry 10.18.08
Camp Sinki
Re: My MIL handed me...
Very interesting article. SS falls into that generation they are talking about. I think we've done a pretty good job so far. SS has a good understanding of hardwork and will work hard for what he wants if he can't ( & sometimes wont) provide from him.
Examples: He worked to raise money to buy a new snow blower, an electric one to boot. He wanted a Carhartt Coat, we told him no b/c the coat he has is fine. He saved money and bought a carhartt coat himself. Now he wants boots, either CAT or Wolverine. But given that he will work hard for what he wants he still has a way to go. If he can get someone to buy him something he will. He often will say yes to things even if he doesn't want it just because it means getting something. He now has reached a point where that doesn't really work anymore and now if he ask someone they double check with us to see if he really needs it.
He still has to learn and understand that what he does affects the people around him not just him. I do think that a lot of things come down to their kids and they just don't get it yet. We can tell/show them something but it doesn't make the connection until it personally effects them in a way they understand.
I'm a member of this generation, and honestly I'm a bit offended by the article. I'm probably taking it too personally though.
Every generation has strengths and weaknesses, and every generation has members who fit that criteria more than others. But I feel like this article makes it sounds like every millenial is a narcissistic, spoiled brat.
And honestly, I'm not a parent, however I don't see anything wrong with the "everyone gets a trophy" approach to parenting. I think its worthwhile to emphasize things like teamwork and good sportsmanship instead of winning and losing.
I wouldn't take it personally only because I think her aim is to make it sound controversial. Like you said, every generation will have their trends - good and bad - but there are always exceptions to the rule.
Andy went to a conference recently that discussed the different generations but it was more comprehensive rather than focused on one negative. Statistics, trends, generalizations are always interesting but they need to be kept in perspective.
And I am somewhat against the "everyone gets a trophy" mentality - at least it regards to competitive sports. Rewarding everyone equally when some work harder than others seems to diminish the hard work that some put in. You wouldn't give a whole classroom of children A's just because they all took a math the test and ignore their performance and/or effort put into preparing for the test. So why give a whole group of children competing in a sporting event the same reward when some may have clearly worked better as a team, put in more effort, practiced harder, etc.? The focus should always be on having fun, performing your best and being a good sport, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't reward those who work hard and win.
I know we are in the same field
so I have to say, I really loved the book. It really made me rethink on how I gave out encouragement to kids. I find therapy wise I puncuate their positives more than I used to but it's on a different level now. I'm also less apt to say "yes, you can be a doctor if you want" when the child is in 11th grade, their average is a D, and they are not going to school regularly. Now I'm more like "okay, you have an interest in the medical field, what are some ideas other than a doctor that excite you?". I have to be realistic because unless they make some radical changes (which CAN happen but they need to work on the issues and buckle down).
I also find that people are seemingly less connected than before. The teens that I work with feel less connected with the kids amongst them, and sometimes they even get down about how their friends have a much better life than they do (in their opinion).
Again, this is in my little circle of life...but the book was awesome.
No, no... I meant discuss why my MIL would hand ME that article.
Naw, just kidding. I did mean the article.. about narcissism.
Kellie, interesting that the book changed your approach. Do you find yourself speaking that way only to those from that generation, or everyone? I don't remember, is your client base young adults only?
I think that about every 5 years or so, a new generation is berated in the media for being self-centered. I don't think the newest "Me generation" is any more severe.
I thought the comment about how midwest Protestants are "cured" of this by focusing on sin and faults was kind of strange.
No, no... I meant discuss why my MIL would hand ME that article.
Naw, just kidding. I did mean the article.. about narcissism.
Kellie, interesting that the book changed your approach. Do you find yourself speaking that way only to those from that generation, or everyone? I don't remember, is your client base young adults only?
I think that about every 5 years or so, a new generation is berated in the media for being self-centered. I don't think the newest "Me generation" is any more severe.
I thought the comment about how midwest Protestants are "cured" of this by focusing on sin and faults. That seems kind of strange.
Yes! I did a double-take when I read that. Like, did that just say what I think it said? And then I forced myself to move on, even though I kind of wanted to dwell on that sentence.
I recognize that in SS from several times in the past year. It really grinds DH & myself. Nothing like this person has this or they have this and that. Why did you buy this place I wanted to live in the country.