North Florida Nesties
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
QOTD - Tuesday 2/1
How do you divide chores and household duties? Who handles what? Are there any exceptions?
Re: QOTD - Tuesday 2/1
Interesting question...
We have a housekeeper and a gardener, so that significantly decreases what needs to be done by us. DH mainly cooks and I'll mainly do the dishes. DH is in charge of all the laundry, I'm in charge of all the finances/bill paying/budgeting/vacation planning. DH is primarily in charge of taking and picking DS up from daycare so I can work longer hours since I make more than he does. We don't deviate much from this on a consistent basis but we are flexible with each other.
I vaccuum because the dust gets to DH's allergies. I like to do the laundry b/c DH has shrunk one too many of my shirts in the dryer, but we both do it. I usually clean the bathrooms. DH does most, if not all, of the yardwork. We both clean the kitchen. We both do the day to day picking up around the house, although DH is way better at that than me.
We don't have a set way we divide things. That's just kind of how it ends up working out.
DH does the finances and a lot of the cleaning
I do more of the logistics (if calls need to be made or when tax time rolls around, I take care of that), cooking, taking care of the kitties and most of the errands.
It works
DH- unloading dishwasher and washing pots/pans from previous nights dinner, putting laundry away after it is folded, taking out the trash and recycling, all yard work (including popper scooping), taking the dogs to the vet
Me- paying the bills, make appiontments (doctor, vet, ect), washing and foliding laundry, cooking dinner, cleaning the house ect...
We both sweep the floors a few times a week. He will occasionally put a load of laundry in but it never makes it out of the dryer unless I get it.
I pretty much do everything - finances, cooking, cleaning, etc.
However, DH is in charge of all house maintenance, lawn maintenance, trash and picking up the dog poop. If he's home on a Saturday and I'm cleaning, I'll ask him to do things and he will, or if there's laundry that needs folding, I'll ask him to go get it and fold it. He also runs errands for me like the bank and post office because he generally goes to work around 11am and I work during bank hours.
It's definitely not spilt evenly, but we're getting better. He never notices what needs to be done, which used to frustrate me, but now I just ask him to do something and he always does it... or I make him little lists on his days off of things to do. It's gotten much better over the last 4 years.
We have a lawn service as of the last six months, but prior to that it was H's responsibility. Since we've gotten the lawn service, he's taken on a lot more of the responsibilities with the dogs. He feeds them and lets them out in the morning and most nights while I go to the gym.
We each do our own laundry. That started when he moved to using the guest bathroom and it.is.awesome.
I cook and he does the dishes. Although sometimes he tries to leave them until the next day and it's like WTF? I don't get to put off cooking until the next day. Take care of them tonight.
I do any and all normal cleaning and housekeeping unless I specifically give him tasks to do. Written down on a list so he can cross things off as he goes is what works best for us. I hate to be his mom, but it's the only way things get done. He does them without complaining usually since I do take care of the majority of the cleaning.
We budget together, but he pay the bills and I plan vacations.
Dude, I never thought to say my handling the finances is a household chore. I mean, it certainly SHOULD count, but I never really thought about it. Psh, I'm totally using that the next time DH complains!
We don't really have anything designated. We both do laundry. We alternate on dishes. He usually vacuums and cleans the bathrooms. I dust and organize/straighten...the more meticulous chores.
Seriously, if we didn't implement the list concept, we'd be divorced by now I'm sure. I used to feel like his mom, but i'd rather leave a list and see him cross stuff off and do it than be mad at him and think he's a forgetful, lazyass... lol.
And ditto, no complaining, it's awesome!
The way I see it, just because it's not physically demanding or that I actually like doing it doesn't mean it's not a household chore. It has to be done, takes time and is very important. It helps that DH freely admits that he would screw it up if it were up to him and his credit was crap before I took over.
ETA: We do the finances together. We sit down once or twice a month to make sure everything is paid and the joint account is balanced. As for cooking, if it's an actual prepared meal, I cook. If we'remdoing something quick like burgers or a pizza H will do it.
We're the total opposite in our house. I absolutely hate paying bills so I'm glad H does it. I should probably give him more credit in his chore column for doing it.
This is week 3 of a new system for us.. We'll see how it holds up when yard work starts up again. When I say "pickup," that includes dusting the main areas of the house:
I have a schedule on the fridge of what needs to be done on what days.. Mondays is bathrooms (I do shower and toilets, he does counters/sinks/mirrors), Tuesdays I do pickup and he does dishes, Wednesdays one of us strips the bed and puts sheets/towels in the wash & the other puts them in the dryer and makes the bed when they're done, Thursdays are the same as Tues, Fri he does pickup and I clean the bedroom, Saturday one of us does dishes and the other does pickup and cleans the office or spare BR(rotating), Sunday we both do pickup and floors (I sweep/mop the linoleum & he vacuums).
We both do our own laundry as needed. He pays the joint bills.
I think this is the pivotal week to see if this plan will work long-term, but I absolutely love it. I'm wrecked on Saturday after working out, so it's awesome to know that the house is pretty much clean already. If I expect things to stay this way, I'm going to have to step it up and do more in the yard. Outside. In the summer. *die*
I did everything when I was married. We had a yard service, so he got out of that too.
My mom and I now have been trying to do a system. We trade scooping cat litter week by week. If the dishes need it, I will do them. She never cooks, so when I cook she cleans up. We dont do each other's laundry. So far its worked, but I feel like I should be contributing more since Im not paying any rent right now until I sell my house.
I do most of the "indoor chores" and he is responsible for all the outside stuff. DH is responsible for some chores inside the house like taking out the trash, keeping the guest bathroom clean (since he uses it), keeping his office clean and occiasionally dusting/vacuuming when he gets a wild hair up his butt. DH sometimes does laundry as well but I am not a fan of that since he doesn't really follow lables like I do for my clothes, so he tends to leave out my stuff.
We had a cleaning lady that came every other week and when we were redoing our finances we ended up having to stop using her to save $$. Now with a baby on the way I thing we are going to have to rehire her to start cleaning once the baby is here so I have at least some help for the first few months.
We do things pretty traditionally in our household, with a few exceptions. Since I SAH, I try to do most of the cleaning/laundry/cooking during the day. DH helps a lot of the time though. He'll throw a load of laundry in, switch it, or fold it if he sees that it's needed, and he's definitely not afraid of dishes (he does most of the weekend dishes). I do the bathrooms, dusting/windows, etc. during the week as I can, and DH usually vacuums as it's needed (just easier for him to do it since both boys are scared of the vacuum right now). I try to make a weekly menu for meals, and most of the time we stick to that. I am infamous for forgetting to thaw meat though, and DH is infamous for wanting to grab something on the way home at the last minute. We're still working on that area.
We don't have a yard, or I'm pretty sure we'd fight over it. I'd be fine with him mowing and me having the landscaping, but he likes gardening too, so he'd want a say there.
As for finances, we're trying to get back to a routine. Right now, things are kinda up in the air financially, so each month is different, so we have to discuss most everything. It used to be that we'd discuss and make decisions, then I'd do the actual record-keeping, scheduling bills, banking, etc. and keep him abreast of balances and goings-on. We're slowly getting back to that. We switched from MS Money to Quicken, and it's thrown me off getting used to it.
We're pretty balanced. Actually, I often have to stop DH from just going ahead and doing something because I'd like to do it my way. I am trying to get him to understand the whole "I'm here all day, I'd like certain things to be more convenient for me since I use them 95% of the time." He has a tendency to do things as they make sense to him without asking for input. So that's our only hitch in the household really.
"My 101 List - Updating asap, I swear!
List = best thing ever
I posted an Excel spreadsheet on the side of the fridge with stuff that needs to get done daily/weekly/monthly & since then, DH is SUCH a huge help. I don't think he realized how much I was doing.
We have a compnay that handles all of the lawn care.
DH handles paying the bills and vacuums nearly every day, once a week he steam mops the floors and dusts the living room. He also does his own laundry.
I do the rest of the cleaning (I'm home 3 days a week) and most of the cooking. I also do all of mine and Braden's laundry. I get up with B in the mornings (after DH leaves) and get us both ready and take him to school.
We both cook, but not often, we go out way too much
We alternate days pickign B up from school - I get him on the days I'm home and DH gets him when I'm in the office.
I'm trying to convince DH that we need to hire a maid service - it would be SO NICE to not have to scrub the toilets
We're in this boat too. If either of us gets a raise and makes just one dollar annually more than we do now, this is the first thing we're doing.
Same here - my contract at work is up for renewal in the next few months, so hopefully it gets renewed. If so, I told DH we're totally hiring someone to come every other week or so to clean so that I get a bit of a break. It's fine now, but once #2 arrives there's no way I'll be able to keep up with all of it plus a newborn!
If it doesn't get renewed.. yeah, I'll be like 7 months pregnant and looking for a new job - not fun!
We have a lawn service for the outside due to DH's allergies and I just don't want to deal with with the lawn. It's worked out great since moving to our house since we didn't have to buy lawn materials.
DH: takes/picks-up DS to/from MIL if he has work, if not, he watches DS at the house... ALL of the cooking, unless we order out or go out... any maintenance in the house... most of the trash duty... some errands as his time is more flexible
ME: finances/bill... purchases all gifts, all year long... almost all of the cleaning, unless I ask him to do it... take care of DS as.soon.as.I.get.home..... planning of any sort (going out with friends, vacations, trips, parties, etc)
We do want to get a maid service to help us, so we'll see how my raise is this year.
We pretty much do things as we see that they need to get done. Sunday is the only day that we regularly do specific chores, such as take out the trash and recycling and change the sheets on the bed.
I do my own laundry because I have a lot of clothes that I hang up and I don't trust DH to figure out which ones those are. I will put his laundry in with mine if I have room. I also do Mungee's laundry and hang it up, fold it, put away.
DH takes care of all the finances/bill paying. We don't keep a budget.
Both of us cook and will either clean up after ourselves or one will cook and the other will clean.
DH does the major yardwork. I'll get out and pull weeds once in a blue moon if it's not too hot.
How is it that my BABY is going to be 3?
BFP-2/25/11; 8 Wk U/S-3/25/11-No HB, measured 6.5 wks; D&C