When do you consider

CarFar · February 2011

Someone a friend ? I think I am too willing to consider someone a friend, when really they have me in the acquaintance category. I also think I am pretty relaxed with my friends ie wouldn't be at all upset with them just popping over, calling late, asking favors that it seems some people get uptight about (with in reason, of course ) So when do you move someone over from acquaintance to friend, friend to good friend ? What do you " expect" of your friends ?

Mystery2B · February 2011

I expect a "friend" to have a give and take relationship where we both get positive benefits from spending time together (emotional support, fun, physical favors like a lift to the car repair place or airport, etc).

From an acquaintance I expect very little except the occasional funny story or mutually enjoyable time spent together. I probably don't put any effort into seeing this category of person, if we're at the same activity/event then we chat but don't make plans to specifically see one another.

LoLoPanda · February 2011

Mystery2B:

I expect a "friend" to have a give and take relationship where we both get positive benefits from spending time together (emotional support, fun, physical favors like a lift to the car repair place or airport, etc).

From an acquaintance I expect very little except the occasional funny story or mutually enjoyable time spent together. I probably don't put any effort into seeing this category of person, if we're at the same activity/event then we chat but don't make plans to specifically see one another.

I agree with this.

hannikan · February 2011

I often feel the same way you do, C. I have noticed as an adult moving from one college program and job to the next, few people stick around that I thought I had a real bond with. It can be very frustrating. People are very fickle and as soon as you are out of constant interaction (ie: they have to start making an effort to spend time with you) you are often out of mind. Anyway I agree that a friendship must involve give and take.

winterorchids · February 2011

I'm pretty sure I'm in the same boat in considering people friends when they'd probably label me more closely as an acquaintance. To me an acquaintance is just someone I have knowledge of but there isn't a mutual interest shown in becoming any closer.

For me, you're my friend if we mutually make an effort to keep in contact with each other and express an enjoyment in talking or spending time together. For some of my friends this means hanging out nearly weekly and for some it means a text or call periodically to check in with them, catch up, and maybe hang out when the stars align. I also have FB friends who I never see but we frequently respond to each others posts about our lives and, to me, they are friends.

I don't expect much of my friends because life is a crazy business, but I do tend to measure the "depth" of our friendship by how much interest the other person shows in me. I consider someone a "good/close friend" when we can both talk to each other openly about deeper and more personal things. A friendship where we share more frequently because we feel secure that the other person actually cares about us and enjoys the sharing.

Love in Stereo · February 2011

Maybe I'm a bit different. I consider anyone I enjoy spending time with that I've hung out with at least a few times and talk to occasionally a friend.

A "BEST" friend I would expect to help me with less than desirable situations- i.e. moving, helping me through a tough time, picking me up from a surgery or something.

However, there are a lot of people I consider "friends" and would love to spend more time with, but my job simply doesn't allow for it.

Acquaintances I usually think of as people I've met and maybe have seen regularly or interact with but have no desire to hang out with. So I guess my true definition of friend is someone I enjoy spending time with vs. someone I don't.

The effort for me isn't as big of a factor because I know people (myself especially) are really busy. I don't get to hang out with "friends" nearly as much as I'd like.

wldktz10 · February 2011

I think I'm a lot like you, Cara. I'm pretty flexible with my friends (as long as they are good friends back). I just expect them to be there for me when I need it and available to keep in touch once in awhile. I'm pretty laid back and don't have high expectations. I know people are busy with their own lives, as long as they make some kind of an effort I'm happy.

As far as when do I consider someone a friend? When we've hung out by ourselves at least once and continue to keep in touch afterwards.

When do you consider

Re: When do you consider

Choose Another Board

Search Boards