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Find a Balance....
I have two teenaged sister still living at home with my parents. Long story short both sisters are doing things they should not be doing, things my parents would not approve of. They have been "made aware" of these things but people telling them. But it is like it goes in one ear and out the other!
My youngest sister is a perpetual liar and is manipulating my mom to no end! I have always been in a wierd position with my parents where I am the oldest and have always been closer with my parents than my sisters and was always put in a unhealthy parental role over them.
Here is the deal: I need help finding a balance in all of this. They are not my children, my parents are the parents. BUT my sisters are both into things that are/could be very dangerous to their health and well being. WWYD?
Re: Find a Balance....
I'm the eldest of four, and all my younger siblings still live at home. With a 21 year age gap between me and my youngest sister, trust me when I say I get the weird half parent/half sibling dynamic you are describing. However, you are NOT your sister's parent. You can talk to your sister about what she is going through, and express your opinion, but you can not discipline/forbid/punish her for anything she is doing. Be a supportive, easy to talk to, positive influence and role model in your sister's life. That's all you can do- no more, no less.
This.
Etsy shop
I don't think you need to find a balance. Your parents PUT you in a parenting role. You're old enough now to step out of it. Of course you love your sisters and don't want them harmed, but it's not your job to keep them healthy.
I would tell your sisters you disapprove of their behavior / actions and why, then I would step out of it. If anything, I would tell my mom that she is dropping the ball as a parent. I would not listen to my sisters lie or talk about how they get what they want from mom. Tell them they know what they are doing is wrong and you don't want to hear about it. They might share things with you in the hopes that you set boundries, but setting boundries is NOT your job.
You have to live your own life now. It's not your responsiblity for you do to your parents' job for them.
Having grown up on the other end of this I have to agree with the PPs. My sister is 20 years older than I am, and there's times I would talk to her about things that I knew were bad in some way but that I wanted honest advice on and was too scared to talk to my parents about. I knew I could trust her to be as honest as any other adult would be about the situation without instantly ratting me out (although I'm sure if it were something truly harmful to myself she would have for my own protection).
If you be their sounding board w/out trying to be their parent you may have a better influence than trying to take on a parental role and they end up shutting you out like they would any other parent.