Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I miss sex....
I know I have seen a post similar to this on here one of these days, but I can't find it anymore. I'd really appreciate your advice. I have been with my husband for about 7 years now (and lived together for about 4 of those) and we used to have very passionate sex maybe 4 or 5 times a week. But since we got married, I am lucky if we have sex twice a month! He is still very affectionate with me, maybe even more so than before. But just no sex... and I'm getting a bit frustrated. I've tried everything (or at least it feels that way). It's even gotten me feeling unattractive, undesirable. I've talked to him several times about it, he just says he doesn't feel like it. I know it's nothing wrong with him medically since I've seen that he watches porn sometimes (I don't normally have a problem with that, unless it gets in the way of our own intimacy... which I'm starting to think it is). I don't want to forbid him from watching or doing something he wants... but I miss sex! 
Any advice?
Re: I miss sex....
Research the Madonna/Whore complex. It?s a problem some men develop after marriage where they love their wives or girlfriends too much and see them as too virginal to taint with sex. It?s a very common problem best solved with couples counseling.
How about he makes an effort to catch you when he is in the mood?
He could also have fallen into a nice deep sexual rut - at any rate, he has to work on this with you.
I always suggest jumping into the shower when he's in there. Let nature take its course.:)
Well, I feel a little bad for MH. . .when he does not give me any the game begins. That happened this weekend, being too scared to pretending to be tired. I got your tired!
If human nature prevails as it usually does. People tend to hoard and/or become fixated on what is in limited supply. Thus driving up interest in the product or activity to abnormal levels.
If DH was "on the job" every time you wanted action. Your need and frequency would gradually drop from your current "demands".
While not a popularly accepted theory, the following one still clings to life. And don't blame me because I'm just the messenger.
Men get bored with what they have. It's about another conquest and new "victories". Being long term and in particular married, the excitement and novelty can wain.
Of course do not rule out depression, stress, natural aging process, blood sugar, weight (yours and his) etc.
Reading your posts is like reading my own thoughts - I've felt like a sex addict too! MH and I have definitely been at the 'twice a month' point before, and if I didn't practically force myself on him at times, we still would be. And that's why I feel like a sex addict. I totally understand your feelings. Don't you love when you try to be sexy or get things going and it's met with the biggest turn-off comment ever? MH is GREAT at that. I come on to him and he 'playfully' blames me for all his problems. Uhh thanks babe, that really gets me going.
I posted a few days ago about my frustration of getting things going, and I got a lot of great responses. The post was "I need help from the bedroom pros". I got a lot of encouragement and ideas and me and DH are at 3 times in 6 days. I still feel awkward and like I'm the sexual deviant, but I figure it's just something we have to work through.
Good luck, honey - I hope things improve!
Thanks! Just got back from reading the responses to your post. I too have tried to "spice things up", only to have him ruin the moment (hm, hug, you look sexy but not tonight...) and then end up just cuddling, grrrr.
But I'm not giving up! I will definitely try some of the advice they gave you and hopefully things will pick up. I've already tried a few with one success, hehe. So now I just have to keep things going