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MH VENT
I would love to know how life would be as a man, they have it so easy.
I get up EVERYDAY at 5:30. So I get a snow day, which I knew about last night and luke's up at 5, who gets up. Me. MH was asleep on the couch, heard the baby, came up stairs and went to bed instead of getting up. So even though he's up, I had to get up and rock the baby. Mind you I'm 6 months pregnant and my kid is huge.
I got the baby back down and he's up again at 5:45, who's up? Me.
Last week I had a 2 hour delay, once again Luke woke up at 6, who go up? Me.
Every other day of the week, I leave for work at 6:15 and both of them are sleeping. They are both sleeping when I leave. Most days I get online and MH comes on and says, wow Luke slept until 8:30 this morning. This is Mon-Friday while I get up at 5:30, yet somehow when the days come that I can sleep in, Luke wakes up early and no matter how long I stay in bed trying to give MH the hint that its his turn, nope, Lukes in an all out screaming frenzy and I finally just get up.
I'm so pissed off right now.
Re: MH VENT
I would be really pissed too. MH & I had a similar situation until I finally spoke up because it was making me SO bitter toward him. We now alternate days getting up during the week and on weekends, so we get similar amounts of time to sleep in. Especially now now being pg, my sleep is horrendous and I'm up every 1-2 hours each night to pee, so I really need what I can get.
I would sit down and figure out a plan w/ him so you can be more equal, esp. w/ you pregnant.
Jake blowing out the candle at Katie's coming home party
Katie Belle
Kristen, Chad, Jake, Katie & Sadie the Wonderdog, est. 6/17/06
I agree with Kristen. That is just unacceptable. What kind of teammate/partner is he?!? I wouldn't have gotten up-- I'd have kicked DH until he woke up and then I would have said that if he didn't take care of the child and let you sleep in that DH's future was not looking bright.
Especially with you pregnant. Bad play, DH. Bad play...
That's not acceptable. You need to work out an arrangement for alternating baby duty.
In our house, I get up with Helen on weekdays (obviously, since I'm a SAHM and DH is already at work). On weekends and holidays DH gets up with Helen and I get to sleep in a little bit.
Been there, done that!!! I use to always be the one gettting up because I would hear him first. I would mumble somthing towards him as I left the room and finally said something to him and he had no clue I had been annoyed at him! He was clueless and needed me to tell him to help!
I wake one the weekday mornings with him because DH usually leaves for work before he is up but on the weekends, we each take a morning or hes been doing both mornings since I pregnant and am not afraid to use the pregnancy card
Yup, I'm in the camp of tell the dumbass to get up and handle it. You guys have to alternate and be fair about who is stuck with little one in early hours. There is no reason you both shouldn't be up, regardless of what time Nick gets up when you aren't there. And yes, you being very pregnant is most definitely an excuse.
Adam doesn't always hear James first and doesn't always remember in his half awake state whose turn it is and I suspect sometimes plays dumb in hopes that I'll get up. I don't let it slide and make his butt get up half the time. I don't feel bad and it keeps me from being bitter.
He does know. But then says I need to tell him.
I'm tired of having to tell him everything. I'm tired of having to say what I feel is pretty obvious.
He got up this morning at 6:45 and told me to go to bed. I was so enraged we got in a huge fight. I went to bed and laid there for 2 hours and didn't sleep. Now I'm up and he and the baby are sleeping and I'm sitting on the couch sobbing. I'm so tired....
i really hate to complain, but this is so hard. I work all day. I leave at 6 and get home at the earliest 5, play with my son til bed, make dinner, watch some tv or work my second job, and do it again. I'm exhausted. I'm starting to really worry about having a second kid because I am so tired. MH is always saying that we are soooo old, we don't do anything. I want to just snap, because he has NO IDEA what it is like to be pregnant. He has no idea how hard I work at my job and that I need a break and I need sleep and I have no choice but to be old right now. I tell him, I explain, but all I hear is a broken record of me saying I'm tired, I'm overstressed, overworked. I don't even like hearing it, so I can imagine how he feels.
He has tried, and I'm serious, he has tried to be better. He tries to come home and do stuff around the house and I appreciate it. But he just doesn't get it. Like yesterday. He says, uh the baby got up EARLY this morning. but, remember they were both asleep when I left. So its not THAT early. But, to him, its soooo early. And yesterday when I got home he had to take a nap because he was exhausted. It doesn't come into his brain that I was up at least an hour before that and I'm not napping. But then its turned around on me that I need to do more things for myself.
and my sleep is so bad as it is. I get up so often to pee, that I never get sound sleep. I'm just so overtired. I don't want to fight anymore, and I don't want to be resentful anymore, but he just doesn't get it and I just don't think he will ever get it.
Definitely, SPEAK UP! Let him know you think it's not fair that you have to get up with Luke when he always gets to sleep in.
DH and I had this conversation a while back. I don't ask him to get up with T...I tell him. It's usually, "you are getting up with her tomorrow, my turn to sleep". He says no just to press buttons but he does get up with her. Even if it's after I've heard her once or twice and already gave her a pacifier a few times. I can usually get another hour though.
You both really gotta talk this out before the new LO comes. Make a plan about who gets to do what when so there is no bitterness about you doing it all (up all night, and getting up with Luke, etc)
I agree. Keep speaking up and be really specific about what you need. You sound so stressed out and overtired. :-( ((hugs))
This. I need to speak up more too. Guess who is still sleeping at this moment? Not the baby. Yes, DH.
Is there another man in his life who could give him the man-to-man version of the "grow a pair and help your wife, you arse!" speech? You know, in a way that he'd listen? Like a brother, father, friend, etc.?
The other option is to tell him that for one week (or 5 days or 3 days, whatever), you are going to wake him up every time you have to pee in the middle of the night, when you wake up in the morning, if he tries to nap during the afternoon/evening; maybe you can even make him help you with dinner-- just for the one week. And the whole time he has to walk around with a filled book bag on backwards so that he is also lugging around 20 pounds of weight around his belly. Maybe if he actually experiences what you're experiencing, he'll *finally* get it?
Nope. His father died a few years ago, his brother does less than he does and his mom, hahahaahaha. I think its like I posted on your post the other day, there are times where you see too many aspects of your IL's in your husband and that bitter feeling sneaks in... But you remind yourself over and over that there are many reasons why this person is your soul mate.
We'll just say, he is a product of his rearing.
Ugh. This is when you need to have a friend or relative around to say things like "hey, would it kill you to get off your butt and make dinner once in a while?" or "hey there, Chief, don't you be talking about how exhausting it is for you sleep in bed while your wife gets up at 5am to work and then comes home and cooks you dinner so that you don't have to worry about losing any sleep when she gets up 30 times in the night to pee because your future child is pushing on her bladder or your current child needs to be attended."
My sister's husband used to come home from his 9-5 office job and say things like "I can't put the dish in the dishwasher; when I come home from work, I'm done working and don't want to do anything." Because putting the dish on the counter above the dishwasher is so much less work than opening the door and putting it in-- after my sister made you dinner and then cleaned up all the pots and pans while trying to change one kid's diaper and help another kid with her craft project. I know that watching the Celtics' pre-game show, the game, the post-game show and then the replay of the game is very, very important stuff.
Trip, if you ever need to vent-- we're all here. If you ever need someone to pull on a pair of metal-studded rugby boots and help DH understand your frustration and pain, you let me know. I *may* just know someone who has a pair of aforementioned boots and can oblige. I'm just saying, is all...
I hope you feel better, having vented, at least. And if our husbands are ever together, I'll make a point of briefing mine to talk positively about how much he helps around the house and that it makes for a much happier wife!
hahaha, Daniele you crack me up..
Well, turns out that he has "the flu". I find this out cause he says - "sorry I doubted you" I said, about what? His response, "that you really had the flu. I feel sooo bad".
OMG!!!! The fact that I was vomitting all day Sunday didn't make you "believe" me that I had the flu!?!
I think I'm going to get him to shovel and lock the friggin doors. He's up for a good a$$ whopping today.