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pay to attend a wedding
We just received an invitation in the mail for my DH's cousin's wedding. It included a $50 per person cost to attend the wedding. Have you ever heard of this? At first, I was offended, but then I thought maybe this is becoming the new norm due to the economy. The banquet hall where it's being held is very nice (overlooks the waterfront of the Poconos). We are pretty close to his cousin and his fiancee, so we wanted to attend. However, having to pay for a flight, rental car, wedding gift and now attendance, I'm not sure we can afford it with a little one on the way. When the couple first got engaged, his fiancee and I talked a lot and I gave her lots of tips about cutting the budget, DIY, etc. However, she took none of my advice.
They also had a Sept. 2011 wedding date and moved it to March 2011 (2 days before our anniversary) about a month ago....so we really don't have much time to save to attend. Anyways, what are your thoughts? I'm also worried that they're getting themselves in a sticky financial situation....the RSVP card (no stamp included) said the reception fee is due a month before the wedding....isn't this usually when the final bills are due to vendors? I'm guessing they're using that money to pay up front instead of charging it and then paying later. What if they don't get enough? What if they have to cancel! I know I shouldn't worry, but they're both young and in school. As I type this I realize what a CF this is!
Re: pay to attend a wedding
That is the rudest thing I've ever heard, and nowhere near normal. The economy is hitting EVERYONE, including their guests. This is BS.
IF you go... and I'd seriously refuse if it was me... then you shouldn't bring a gift. You've already covered your plate by paying the $100 cover charge. This whole things makes me so angry. They want a big fancy party so they're making their guests pay for it? How is that OK?
I'm sorry, I know you say you're close, but those people are leeches... not to even put a stamp on the RSVP card? I'd refuse to send it back.
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I have never, ever, ever heard of this.
Yuck, IMO.
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NOT cool.
First off, you mentioned that it is at a pretty nice place. They could very easily sacrifice this and do a backyard wedding with light refreshments and forgo their not so nice wedding venue.
No way. You know what? Rodgers and I didn't have a lot of money to spend on our wedding, so we got married in someone's back yard and served only cake and punch at the reception. I can't imagine asking our guests to pay so that we could afford a fancy venue and catering. I've never heard of having to pay to go to a wedding.
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this. i wouldn't go (and i grew up near the poconos, my parents are still there so no flight/hotel needed. lol!)
Wierd. I agree... Why don't they just hold a cheaper wedding? After all, it's not the wedding that's important it's the getting married part...
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This is all sorts of ridiculous in my opinion. Nobody should be expected to pay a fee to attend a wedding. You invite people to come celebrate your union and if they chose to have an expensive party, that is their cost, not yours.
Personally, it would be a no for me.
So amazingly rude, I'm shocked.
Have you called any other family members to ask their opinions on it?
I would give a very small gift is I was purchasing admittance into the wedding. Or I'd re-gift something from my own wedding. I have an ugly frame and Lennox vase I'm just begging to give to someone.
I think we're not going to go. My DH was really annoyed by it all. BIL was on the fence and now he isn't going. I don't understand why they moved the date up either! When I say the reception venue is nice, I mean NICE! It's like something you'd see on My Fair Wedding. I understand wanting the wedding of your dreams, but I truly enjoyed finding creative ways to make my wedding unique and special for my guests on a budget.
I gave her tons of ideas! I recommended parks, community centers, etc. I suggested picking up light refreshments at a grocery store. Some of the nicest weddings I've been to have been the simple ones. One of my friends got married right out of college and they rented a natural science museum, got some sandwich trays from a local deli, bought a couple of kegs and wine and had a rockin' reception. She also made cute magnets as the favors. It was an awesome wedding!
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this was weird. It just seems not only tacky, but hella rude!
My guess is she's pregnant so they moved the date up. And they didn't have enough money for their fancy wedding. Apparently they're forgetting that a memorable wedding is being surrounded by the people who love and support you, not having the most expensive things that money can buy.
I definitely wouldn't go, and probably wouldn't send a gift.
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As much as I want to go off on this, I realize this is a real life situation for you...
I would either go, and not bring an additional gift, the card you bring that day should say something along the line of, heck I have no idea how to say this, but our presence is your present since you put an admission charge on the event...perhaps we're glad we could attend and contribute towards a special wedding day for you.
Or send a 50 dollar gift with your regrets, they'll realize that you couldn't afford to pay for both of you but still wanted to acknowledge...this is what I vote for