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What's up with my SIL... should I say anything?
My brother and SIL have a 2-month old baby. I live 500 miles away from my hometown where they live. I hadn't heard anything about his baptism and would like to be there if I can. Since I live so far away, I can't just pop over so I have to make a long weekend out of it. I just saw SIL post on facebook about how excited she is about having some friends in town for the baptism and thanking my cousin for agreeing to do the baptism (he's a priest). But no invite for me.
I sometimes get so tired of having to always ask about what's happening in the family. I also am kind of ticked that she can't wait for friends to come stay with them but hasn't asked his aunt to be there.
At this point I feel like if I were to go, I wouldn't get to see the baby much b/c the friends will be around all the time. Should I talk to her about it? Let it go? Am I being too insensitive? What would you do?
Re: What's up with my SIL... should I say anything?
The Dogs and Us
Personally i would send an e-mail to your brother. Hey i saw his baptism was coming up and did not get an invite. I was wondering what was going on and feel a little left out. I would like to be part of this child's life. But then again I am a confrontational person when it comes to my family.
The Dogs and Us
You need to talk to your brother, not your SIL. I highly doubt he does not know when the baptism is. Maybe your SIL is just sick and tired of his laziness and has told him that if wants his family at events, then he needs to invite them.
Or, are you the only person in your entire family who never gets invited to their family events? If so, I would then question what kind of relationship you have with them. Is there a chance they just don't enjoy your company?
You need to talk to your brother, not your SIL. I highly doubt he does not know when the baptism is. Maybe your SIL is just sick and tired of his laziness and has told him that if wants his family at events, then he needs to invite them.
This is my SIL's attitude, she has vented to me a number of times about how she tells her husband that it's his responsibility to contact his family.
I think you should drop an email to your brother and let him know you would really enjoy being at the baptism and take it from there. Maybe he didn't want you to feel obligated to travel that distance? Is a baptism a very important event in his life? If he isn't very interested in baptisms, that may be another reason he didn't invite anyone.
It's not your SILs fault that your brother is a tool.
This happens frequently enough with my dh - I get tired of nagging him to contact his family for events. While I would send an invite for a major thing (like a baptism), for things were a phone call / text is how I am contacting guests, I just decide f*** it - if he wants them to be there, he can pick up the darn phone. Your SIL is probably doing 99.9% of all of the planning for the baptism, your brother can pick up a phone and contact you.
Since your BROTHER cannot be bothered, I would write your SIL and tell her that you saw on FB the baptism is coming up, and wanted the details.
If you will be there for a long weekend, don't worry about not having time with the baby. You can see the baby on the other days you are there.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
This seems more like your brother's fault than your SIL's, but it sounds like you just want to blame her. IF you're being left out, your brother is allowing that to happen. And IF you're invitation was just accidentally omitted, that's his fault too.
Call your brother and ask HIM what is going on.
Wow. So your brother is "clueless" and completely off the hook but you feel hurt and left out by your SIL. Lucky SIL, all the work and the guilt.
Presumably, she gave birth 2 months ago and was pregnant for 9 months before that. No, I wouldn't make this your SIL's problem. You do have every right to call your brother and say you saw a Facebook post about the baptism and wondered why HE hasn't told you about it.
And yes, it is difficult to spend quality time with the baby during major events. There are a lot of people and a lot of attention on the baby. If that's really a worry, perhaps you should travel another time - either instead, or in addition.
I also highly recommend Skype.com.
From them or her? Really. Is she doing all the work here? And getting all of the blame?
Another vote for blaming the brother. ITS NOT SIL's FAULT HE'S CLUELESS!! HE CHOOSES TO BE SO HE DOESN'T GET BLAMED WHEN PEOPLE GET LEFT OUT!
This may be different, but I take responsibility for inviting my family and occasionally my MIL and FIL. Its not my fault if DH's brother's don't know. They are his brothers. And if his uncle doesn't get the thank you note that I wrote out? Not my fault. I don't particularily like all of his family and even the ones I do like, its not my responsibility to make them a part of HIS child's life.
Did you ever think that maybe she is more excited about her friends coming because to them its an honor to be invited, not a right? And that they understand new parenthood and aren't going to biitch her out for something that really isn't her fault? Especially when she's trying to plan a huge event?
Sara, Friend?
glove slap. I don't take crap.