Family Matters
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F/U Estate

1. We will be calling a lawyer tomorrow morning. 

2. In response to the poster who asked why we didn't ask "where's our stuff/money?":  We know my mother's insurance money was received before she passed away bc of her terminal illness.  It went towards living expenses, the funeral, and medical bills. Though I am sure there is/was some left, Dan can have it.  He needs to live, too. 

3. We didn't feel the need to have updates on Grandpa's lake house because we had discussed that if Grandpa's insurance money ran low and could not maintain the upkeep and HOA fees, we three grandkids would take it over.  It was something like $500/month.  The cabin was paid off.

4. After searching the tiny county's assessor records, I found that he indeed sold the house in August for $XX,XXX.XX.  More than enough to pay whatever bill of grandpa's were left (I can't imagine there was much left after his insurance and savings) and our mother's/grandpa's headstones.  There should be, by my calculations, at least $50,000 sitting in there.

5. My sister told me that in the event of both my grandfather and mother dying (both of the names on the cabin), that the home would be in Dan's name.  

6. Dan informed us that he was to place cabin into the grandkids' names, per grandpa's requests. (We are not sure if these requests are written, in the POA paperwork, or if they are written at all.)

7. Asking Dan to show us the paperwork, at this point, will be fruitless.  It will tip him off that we are as upset as we are, give him time to get his ducks in a row to fudge everything to look like it is supposed to, and hide/trash whatever he doesn't want us to see.  We know this bc of things we have asked for in the past; if he doesn't want to show us or have any accountability, he will simply stop talking to us about it, blow up, or "lose" whatever it is we want. 

 

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Re: F/U Estate

  • If your grandpa and your Mom owned the house as joint tenants with right of survivorship (you may be able to look at the deed online) the house would have gone to Mom on Gpa's death. If they owned it as tenants in common Gpa's half would go to his estate on his death (his estate may have been his two living children, or his grandchildren, or someone else, depends on the will). If he had no will - it would go according to your state's laws - which probably, if your state is like many others - to his children equally. If he left everything to your Mom via will, or they were joint tenants with right of survivorship - meaning the title goes to the other upon the death of the first - the cabin would be with your Mom. If she had a will - she could have left everything to Dan - if that is the case, Dan wins. If she did not have a will, again, if your state is like many others - 1/2 of her estate goes to Dan the other 1/2 to her children.

    You need to know 1.) did Gpa have a will - if so what does it say 2.) How did Gpa and Mom hold title to the cabin (you need to see the deed). 3.) Did Mom have a will and what does it say. 

    If Mom signed a will while she was very ill giving everything to Dan - there may be a possibility that you could contest it.

    There are a lot of issues to sort thru, Your lawyer will be able to help.

  • I'm really glad that you are going to contact a lawyer... please follow through with this.... to me it sounds like Dan has been taking advantage of you... and it is slowly coming to light.

    I would not talk to Dan anymore about the matter.... please let the lawyers deal with this... really.  It is in your best interest.

    Good Luck.

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  • I'm glad your family has decided to call an attorney. Best of luck to you and keep us posted on how this turns out. 
    Hope is not a strategy.
  • imagejillboston:

    If your grandpa and your Mom owned the house as joint tenants with right of survivorship (you may be able to look at the deed online) the house would have gone to Mom on Gpa's death.

    but mom predeceased the grandpa, if I remember right from the OP

    breebirdy- please keep us updated as to what the lawyer says.

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  • Cut Dan out of your life and deal with the attorney only.  Don't speak with him if he calls.  You don't like him, he's not suddenly going to become your friend after two years of trying to cheat you.

    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
  • Your attorney is going to also ask you about Living Trusts or Wills.  Do you know if gramps or mom had either of these?

     These situations are a shining example of why you need to have everything in a trust....

    And I agree, but Dan out of your life.  You don't like or trust him anyway, so I wouldn't worry about pissing him off or anything....

  • imagesaraelizabeth28:

    I'm really glad that you are going to contact a lawyer... please follow through with this.... to me it sounds like Dan has been taking advantage of you... and it is slowly coming to light.

    I would not talk to Dan anymore about the matter.... please let the lawyers deal with this... really.  It is in your best interest.

    Good Luck.

     

    This. You don't want to create any "technicalities" that a lawyer could make a loop out of. Just stop communication and trust your lawyer.

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