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Work friend wwyd?
Some of you may remember that when I started teaching last year there was a girl who gave me a ton of grief -- she was competitive, always wanted to be right and never took any of my ideas on teaching. She also told me taht I would be looked down upon at the school bc I had a PhD in teaching and we (PhDs) seem like know-it-alls.
Anyway we had it out last year and have been friendly since. She has had a bad upbringing -- her mom was in and out of psy. wards and was not really there for her. She is often kind, but can be very insecure which brings out her competitive nasty side.
We have been fine since last year, but this week she has pulled a 180 on me. I think it may be that I have been talking more with people she calls "the enemy" at school, but we have a bunch of new people with great ideas and I like them even if she doesn't!
I called her on Friday and left a msg saying that she didn't seem like herself, that I hoped everything was okay and to call me so we could talk. I didn't hear from her all weekend. Today, I left another msg saying I was concerned but that I wasn't going to push it anymore and to call me if she wanted to talk. Nothing.
So, would you just drop it? Be cordial but not try to maintain the friendship anymore? It's exhausting!!
Re: Work friend wwyd?
I would drop it. It sounds like you have done everything you could do to make the relationship work, but you can't make her behave differently and you can't heal her obviously damaged psyche, either.
Unless you want to be friends with her, I'd say retreat and keep your distance. She is an adult and needs to behave like one at work-- the only thing you have control over is how you behave at work.
But that's just me-- I don't have a lot of patience for other people unless they're my friends and family. And my true friends and family take up a lot of my time and energy (which is finite and I don't want to be wasting on people who don't deserve/appreciate it).
Good luck! I know having tension at work stinks, so I hope this resolves well...
Agreed - I would attempt to move on and keep your distance to a professional one with her. I know it's tough - I'm awful at this and always have the need to feel like I can get along with everyone. Sometimes, it's not worth it, as long as you can be professional.
If she does decide to reach out to you eventually, you can see how your feel then, but don't waste any more of your energy on her for now.
This. You can only ask so many times. She will respond if she wants to. You have done the best that you can.
Yes, all of this. You have made the best effort a friend/colleague can and now it is up to her.