August 2009 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Choosing a Guardian for Kids
B and I have been discussing the subject recently, as we start to think more about TTC in the fall (which I know is still awhile away). Right now I'm struggling with whether I would want SIL and BIL to raise our kids should anything happen to us. I'm not the biggest fan of their parenting style or their general lifestyle. Don't get me wrong, it's not like our nephews are growing up in a bad environment, it's nothing like that. It's just that I would want my kids to be exposed to culture and travel, understand the importance of education, and learn to be independent. I'm not certain SIL and BIL are on the same page. How have you guys dealth with this decision? Did you choose a relative or a friend? Any insight you ladies have is helpful.
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Re: Choosing a Guardian for Kids
I'm not really thinking about this yet, but had a couple thoughts. First, I don't think you need to feel obligated to make family the guardians. My parents chose people they trusted, respected and felt could handle it (including financially, although of course the kids get inheritance etc, it would still be tough on people who are unstable).
Are you worried it would hurt your SIL/BIL's feelings if you didn't chose them? If so, obviously talk to the people you put down, but you don't have to talk to the people you don't put down.
Planning Bio
Married Bio
DH and I haven't really touched on this yet. I have a feeling it might be a fight waiting to happen. I think he assumes his brother and wife would do it, but I don't really approve of their parenting style or the way they raise their children. Other than that, our choices are limited to friends or my single brother who lives a very bachelor life. I'm not saying it's a bad lifestyle, but I don't know how a child would effect his life. He might actually really enjoy it.
I do agree that friends would be a good way to go if you can trust them and feel like they'd be up for the task. It doesnt' always have to be family.
Though we're not trying for a while, it would be one of our sets of parents, depending on their health and age.
Other than them, I think my little brother and his wife would be our other choice, depending on their circumstances at the time.
The rest of our siblings would be out of the question due to their lifestyles and parenting techniques.
Even though we're not even considering having kids yet, Kyle and I have discussed this. We decided on my sister and BIL. They would be amazing parents and both love children. They don't have any of their own yet because they are saving up for IVF.
Kyle's sister doesn't want children, so we wouldn't want to leave our future children with her and we would not want his brother raising our children (I've told stories of him before). So, the decision for us was pretty easy. I was just worried that Kyle would be upset that we were going with my family and not his, but that wasn't the case at all. We already talked to my sister about it and she was happy with the choice.
I think that as long as you, your DH and whoever you plan to leave your children with are all comfortable with the arrangement, then it is perfectly acceptable, whether it is family or a friend who you decide to go with.
Kids may not happen for us, but if we do forge ahead, we've already discussed that my parents would get them if they're healthy and able. We haven't considered who would take their place if they were unable to care for the kids, but we do know it would not be his parents, probably not my siblings because of their current lifestyles, and not his youngest brother. His middle brother I can see being a good parent, but we haven't discussed that between us or with him. Things may change between now and the time we may decide to have them, so it's something we'll revisit once a decision's made.
The Daily Nugget
Cycle 12, IUI #1 - 33m post wash 10/15/10 = BFN
Cycle 13, IUI #2 - 15m post wash 11/16/10 = BFP, missed m/c, D&C 1/3/11
Cycle 15 - 18, IUI #3-6 = BFN
Cycle 20, IUI #7 = BFP!, missed m/c 9/14, D&C
DE-IVF Aug. 2012: ER 8/30 11R, 7M, 4F; ET 9/4 returned 2
Beta 9/18 #1-820, #2-1699, #3-7124
10/1 1st u/s measuring right on track, 125 bpm
We haven't decided yet. Which reminds me we need to have the conversation again.
I know DH wants his parents to handle the finances, which I'm OK with. However, I wouldn't be wild about them parenting (because of their style). Ideally I'd like my mom or my bro and sis-in-law. Right now DH is against bro and sis-in-law because they aren't parents (yet) and he wouldn't want them to be first-time parents in that situation (which I don't necessarily agree with...they want to be parents but haven't had good luck so far).
It's a tough decision.