Sex & Romance
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Shibari/Bondage?
After watching an eye opening movie, The Secretary (yes the one with Maggie Gyllenhaal lol). I recently have found myself drawn to the submissive role, something about it makes me feel more alive and truly me. This was something I never considered until recently, and being the submissive one, while my husband is dominate is a real turn on. Being tied up is something that we tried and loved, with handcuff sort of things. The idea of being tied up with rope (shibari style) also interests me. Has anyone tried this? My H & I have been looking into it, but have yet to do anything but read about it. Does anyone have any tips or experience with this?
Thanks 
Re: Shibari/Bondage?
Comments are welcome too!
Lindy - I loved it.
I always liked Maggie Gyllenhaal as an actress - but watching that movie was like watching myself at first - minus the cutting. haha.
I have 2 suggestions for you.
1. The Two Knotty Boys books are great for beginners trying sensual and decorative rope bondage. Lots of illustrations, which help a lot!
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_c_1_15?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=two+knotty+boys&x=0&y=0&sprefix=two+knotty+boys
2. I'd also suggest checking out a social networking site called FetLife.com. It's like Facebook for perverts, and it is not a dating/hookup site. The reason I suggest this is because you can find local groups for people who are interested in rope as well as workshops and classes. I'm in Seattle and we have weekly classes/demos/workshops about rope bondage.
The world of rope bondage is huge! You should be able to find lots of resources out there in your local community if you are ready for it. Would you believe there's actually a yearly convention for rope bondage enthusiasts? It's called Shibaricon and happens in Chicago in late May: http://www.shibaricon.com/
Good luck and have fun!
I have had no personal experience with bondage but I can tell you that it is better to get as much research as you can before going through the motions. You are on the right step to reading about it but keep looking online for some groups on bondage. It is becoming more and more popular and should be easy to seek out people who can tell you first hand experience. Here is a site where there is more literature out there if you have not had enough. Good luck and congrats to you both for being sexually expressive in another way!
http://www.tabutoys.com/subcategory/SM_and_Fetish_Books!!!! Thanks for posting, I'm glad someone else brought up this topic! I'm really into BDSM but my DH isn't really a good dom. and won't do a whole lot of fet. stuff with me...
Knena - I am glad to be here for you! My husband is into it.. but then again I think he is into anything that involves me & sex. haha. I went through a dry spell after we had my daughter - due to hormone fluxes & other various health issues so its nice to feel sexy & want to have sex again. Why isn't your husband a good dom? What other fet stuff are you into? Im just really interested in the bondage.. thats it. lol.
Mrsbrittany -
Your information was amazing! Thank you! I had no idea there were conventions or groups. I promptly joined fetlife after reading your posts.
So glad I could help!
I'm MissBrittany on there, feel free to add me as a friend if you wish. :-)
Knena, some men just don't have it in them to be dominant with their partners. I think as women, we tend to expect men to be naturally dominant, but there are a variety of reasons why they may not be. One reason could be that he'd rather take the submissive role, or perhaps he's not comfortable letting that side of him out. Men are raised to be more sensitive these days, and I know a lot of men who want to dominate their partners sexually but have been told over and over how wrong it is.
If I may make a gentle suggestion? Instead of thinking "he isn't a good dom," maybe talk to him about what his kinks are and build from there? Maybe you could take turns with each other in the dominant role.
I've tried with my DH but he goes back and forth and doesn't commit to a dominat role and really doesn't like subbing- we've tried it. I think he is just a really visual person and needs the whole scene to get into it (outfits, bondage and what have you). I seem to have more of a fantasy that I really want to act out and that's enough to get me off.
I'm really into orgasm denial, spanking, forced orgasms, flogging, period fet., fisting, lactation fet., and humiliation ., ya I know I'm a creep but I like it!
Knena - JOIN FETLIFE! lol.
im on there.
You aren't a creep - there are a million people like you.