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Can I bad-mouth my DH here?
Not really bad-mouth, but vent about him. When we stopped our house search last year, he found out about a cw who was retiring from the Navy and going into real estate, so told him we'd work with him, without talking to me first about it, which is a massive no-no in our house, as I'm sure it is in most anyone else's.
Well, by the time he told me about it, he made it sound like he was just thinking of using him. When I voiced my reservations about using someone new to the industry in this crazy market, he then tells me how he's essentially already told him we'd use him. Fine, yeah, whatever.
I really like the guy, he's got integrity, and I know he tries hard, but I'm really struggling with him. From day one I've known more about real estate than he has. He didn't write our first contract (on the short sale) like we wanted, and DH gave him grace on it, where he wouldn't have with someone else. On top of that, he's not all that readily available. To my knowledge, though he has other clients, he's not made a sale yet, and you'd think that would motivate him. But he's constantly going out of town or otherwise not available to work during the week/on the weekends. I understand if he has other clients he's showing around, but that's not the case. In the fall, he was going home to hunt every weekend. Well, call me crazy, but I am trying to get this b!tch done, and don't want to look at two houses every evening after DH gets home, upsetting the boys' routine and our dinnertime. This morning he sends an email saying that he'll be out of town Fri-Mon, so we'll go looking again next week. Um, what about Wed and Thur this week?
We saw a condo over the weekend that we loved, and was an awesome price (foreclosure), but it was only after he started writing the offer that he told us it wasn't even HUD approved, so wouldn't work for a VA loan. Basically, the bank is trying to force only cash offers. I later saw that it said that in the listing he had. I know it's an easy thing to overlook, but that made the whole thing a massive waste of time!
DH has a habit of trying to help other people out, to his own detriment, and I'm just about ready to kill him over it. He lets people at work call after-hours/on holidays/days off for stupid stuff that could wait (even when he's told them to call during working hours), and often does stuff for people that he knows won't appreciate it on family time. I know military families have to sacrifice, blah blah blah, but this isn't necessary, and honestly, I'm tired of being put on the back burner!
I'm going to talk to him about it this evening, but I figured if I vent here, I'll be more logical when talking to him. Thanks ladies!
Re: Can I bad-mouth my DH here?
DH and I used to have discussions about this a lot more often than we do now. Through examples and experiences, I've finally been able to convince him (most of the time) that OUR family comes first. No one is going to take care of us, but us so that's where his focus should be.
I feel your pain and it's one of the reasons I don't do business with/hire friends if they're really not the best qualified person. Good luck!
That sounds so incredibly frustrating. I'm sorry. I totally understand his good intentions, but hope he can come to his senses soon.
And ditto ditto ditto this. It took me a few years, but I've realized that I hate hiring clients and I hate having friends as clients. I was in your husband's mindset a few times before I realized that for me it's usually in my best interest to keep personal and professional relationships separate.
ETA: It sounds like you're on the same page on this one, but best of luck convincing your H the same!
Thanks ladies. That's usually my mindset too. I will not work with friends except in certain circumstances, but he's got a "bleeding heart." He thinks I'm cold and heartless in that area, but I've been burned too many times.
Thanks for boiling it down though. Because that's exactly what it all comes down to.
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