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I am starting my own thread for my UO.
JL's valentine's post below really got me to thinking..scary, I know...about women and being high maintenance.
There are always going to be double standards between men and women but this one really gets to me. A woman tells her husband that V-Day is important to her - she wants flowers, a nice dinner yada yada - and that is being high maintenance. On the other hand, a man wants to watch sports every damn day of the week, and 'needs' a large television for the super bowl party he wants to have and that is....well, a man being a man. Now, if a woman says no to the big t.v. and the super bowl party, that is a woman being a b!tch. But if the man says no the V-day idea the man is...being a man. IMO, he is a self centered a-hole but what can you do?
I guess I get tired of a woman being called "high maintenance" when she communicates her needs. I don't understand why knowing what you want makes you high maintenance. I would certainly rather know what I want than walk around all day playing it coy then whining and b!tching when things don't go my way (for example: my mother).
Anyway, my point is: We should be communicating our needs and wants without fear of being considered high maintenance. Any man that is not willing to see eye to eye with you on the stuff you consider "important" is a douche and doesn't deserve your time.
The end.
Re: I am starting my own thread for my UO.
It just one of those things that is what it is and I don't think we can really change. Mind you we can communicate with our own H's about what we need is just as important as what he needs. I know MH and I are on the same page if I tell him what I want for Christmas or even Valentine's I'm pretty sure I'm going to get it. But at the same time he knows if he wants something and feels it's important he's going to get it.
Oh I totally agree. My point in asking the True/False question was hinting at this double standard. Growing up my dad always did V-Day well for all of his girls... albeit predictable (red roses, chocolate, card etc.) but it still made us feel special. He's pretty much a PITA every other day of the year, but this one he typically gets right.
I love the women who are able to say, we make the other 364 days of the year special so V-Day isn't that important to me... Good for you.
We did the Love Languages book and my top LL is physical touch. I NEED affection and he knows that and goes out of his way to communicate in my LL. Ironically, I'm pretty sure my secondary love language is gifts... because I LOVE surprising people and being surprised in return. When I first started dating DH I would bring over framed photographs (art, not of me), bottles of liquor, little gifts here and there for random holidays, etc. I love randomly dropping by my friends' houses or places of work and surprising them with flowers or cookies, giftcards, etc. This is just something I've always loved to do. So I LOVE it when people do the same for me. Boymom randomly got DH a card congratulating him on a new job and we both just fawned over it because it was the SWEETEST thing.
However, I've pretty much given up on expecting DH to communicate in my secondary LL, but our budget is super tight and I just know that little frivolous things don't make sense for us. I don't think this being my LL makes me high maintenance though...
It all comes down to making a person feel special. DH makes me feel special all the time, but sometimes I wish a random flower arrangement would show up at the house... just sayin.