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moms w/2+ babies

i'm trying to visualize how this is all going to work, once we have baby #2 and my parents bring DD to the hospital to visit... visiting hours are not limited at all where i'm delivering, so i'd like to bring her there shortly after the baby is born.  but i have a few questions -- when did you have your LO visit, and how long did they stay?  did you pack stuff for them to play with at the hospital, so they could hang out there?  did you have them bring anything special with them, or have anything special with you at the hospital to give them from the baby? and how long did you stay at the hospital the second time -- two nights or just one, or longer? 

i'm starting to get really anxious about being able to balance the attention on both of them... i feel like i'm going to feel super guilty about not giving enough to either one :(  any and all stories of how your hospital visit and transition home went would be great.

Re: moms w/2+ babies

  • when did you have your LO visit
    the next day, but my situation was different. Norah went straight to the NICU (born at 2:44pm) and I didn't get up to see her until after 5:30. It was really important to us that she be the first person (other than DH & I) to meet Norah. IF I had been up sooner (I had a c/s and had to wait until I proved I could walk before they wheeled me up -- oh and I delivered at UMass) or had her earlier, she probably would have come up that day

    how long did they stay? 
    an hour or 2 that day

    did you pack stuff for them to play with at the hospital, so they could hang out there? 
    kinda - I had a magna doodle for her, and my dsi (for me) which she draws on. We also bought her a build a bear that she got to take home since I wasn't going home with her.

    **we spent a lot of time going back & forth, with J b/c N was in the NICU for 10 days, we brought coloring books, stickers, her magna doodle, snacks, etc for out longer visits and she played in the family room a lot too

    did you have them bring anything special with them, or have anything special with you at the hospital to give them from the baby?
    J picked out a balloon for the baby when she got to the hospital with my parents, it was really cute. She kept the balloon. We gave her the bab, but it wasn't from the baby it was more of a bribe to go home.

    how long did you stay at the hospital the second time -- two nights or just one, or longer? 
    I talked my way out at 3 days, I was supposed to stay at least 1 more. I did spend another night there before Norah was scheduled for surgery (that didn't happen).

     

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  • when did you have your LO visit, and how long did they stay? I was induced, so my mother came and picked up DD to stay at her house for a couple of nights. DS was born late in the evening (ie, after DD's bedtime), so we didn't have any visitors until the following day. They visited for a couple of hours, then my mother brought DD back to her house for another sleepover so DH could get one last good night's sleep! HA!did you pack stuff for them to play with at the hospital, so they could hang out there? I didn't pack anything special. But, I think both my mother and my sister had toys and coloring books for her. did you have them bring anything special with them, or have anything special with you at the hospital to give them from the baby? I had a gift for DD to give DS, and vice versa. DD had picked out a "friend" for DS (one of those lovey blankets that looks like an animal... she picked a monkey) a couple months before. DD was into Dora at the time, so DS "gave" DD a stuffed animal of Dora's friend Boots.

    and how long did you stay at the hospital the second time -- two nights or just one, or longer? I spent three nights in the hospital. DS was born on the 14th, but since it was after a certain hour, we got that first night "free." We weren't discharged until the 17th. I may have had the option to leave on the 16th, but DS' circ was that day, and I wanted another day with trained eyes to help care for him, as I was really worried about doing something wrong.i'm starting to get really anxious about being able to balance the attention on both of them... i feel like i'm going to feel super guilty about not giving enough to either one :(  any and all stories of how your hospital visit and transition home went would be great. For us, DD was in love with her baby brother from the moment she laid eyes on him. He was her baby. But then again, I always referred to him as her baby brother when I was pregnant. She truly became Mommy's little helper, even with some things that I didn't need or want help with, but it was all good. DH spent a lot of one-on-one time with her, and my parents and sister came up to visit and spend special time with her, too. They slept in the same room for the first 6 months or so, and after the second night, DD was oblivious to DS' cries... and vice versa (for the most part).I'm sure you'll be fine. It's different. It's an adjustment, that's for sure. But, it all works out. I can't even remember what it was like to have just one child anymore. It can be tricky and awkward at times, but it gets easier. 
    image
  • when did you have your LO visit how long did they stay? 
    it was the next day. isla was born in the evening 655pm, so mila came in the morning.  on the day that i had isla my dad left work and stayed with mila until one of my sisters could get there. my mom and dh came with me to the hospital.

    did you pack stuff for them to play with at the hospital, so they could hang out there? 

    i had a gift from isla to mila but i honestly cant remember what i gave and when i did it. i know she came in wearing her big sister outfit feeling all proud. i think my mom got her a bagel from dunkin donuts. the she took her to the gift shop at the hospital and bout them each a musical bear and mila got a light up ball too. she played with those things and held the baby. she stayed for a few hours tops.


    did you have them bring anything special with them, or have anything special with you at the hospital to give them from the baby?

    yes but no idea what and when we gave it to her!


    how long did you stay at the hospital the second time -- two nights or just one, or longer? 

    whatever is typical 2 days? 

    it really was not too bad. i felt weird about it for some reason.. probably more weirded out by the whole thing- more than mila. like i had no idea how to act to each of them, dh, anyone really... and i was SUPER DUPER sleep deprived. i had early labor with isla for 2 days before i had her and was not able to sleep at all. then i had her and was up with her. it was really hard for me. i kept forcing myself to make things the way they were before... cooked dinners from scratch as soon as i came home from the hospital, gave mila baths and played with her,  cleaned the house. i was nuts! after a few weeks , and some rest , things were more normal.

    i have done it before but i am already feeling anxious about my new one! you will be fine- you are wayyy more normal and in control than i am :)

     

    mila belle 3.26.07 and isla leighton 5.12.09 image mila belle aka mimi and belle and miss isla aka ileigh : ) pregnancy calendar
  • Indiana came pretty close to when Reid was born...I would say about 2 hrs after...he had swallowed the meconium so I didn't get him right away...so it was probably about 2 hrs...
    I didn't have anything for her...but she had her leapfrog with her in case she got bored in the room...I think they stayed (her and my Mom) about an hour or so..it was close to her bedtime so Joel went home with them to put her to sleep then came back to stay with me in the hospital. She came the next morning to visit again and then again in the afternoon...the next day we left so she didn't come. 

     

    I will tell you I was sooooo emotional when I left for the hospital...my mom came to pick her up and I started bawling...hormones are crazy things...totally thinking why did we have another baby, this isn't fair to her...honestly she showed no jealousy issues, she was in the middle of potty training and never went off the path of that...it all worked out great...I promise it will be great!!!

    Good luck!!  

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  • My mom was here when I went into labor and Wes was in the city. So my mom, Em and I drove over to the hospital and Wes had to take the train back and get to his car and drive over. It was a little scary but we actually stopped at Burger King on the way to get Em chicken nuggets. Weird! Got to the hospital, checked in, my mom played w/ Em while they checked me ect. Finally Wes got there. We got into my room settled in and then my mom took Em home. I had C at 6pm.  I can't remember but I think Wes went home and showered at some point and changed and came back around 9:30 maybe that night? Then he stayed and the next morning my mom and Em came to visit. I had brought a present for each of them. Em was wearing her big sister shirt. The hospital gave her a big sister packet of some sort. That was about all she needed. She was super into the baby and didn't have any kind of freak out. She stayed for a few hours and then my mom took her home.  Wes actually went home that night to put her to bed and stayed at home to get one last night of sleep :)  He came and picked C and I up the next morning and we went home!
  • Zoe was there maybe an hour after Lily was born. I can't remember know how long she stayed but I feel like it was awhile. We had a couple of big sister gifts for her so she opened those and played with those. I don't think we had her bring anything for Lily. I just stayed one night after having Lily, I was ready to go home! HA! I stayed the 24 hrs. you needed to b/c the baby had to have a test after 24 hrs. but then I got the heck out! I felt good after having Lily so...There was a woman who delivered her 5th baby a few rooms down and she left a few hours after delivery and came back for the 24hr. test! HA! If I had 5 kids I'd be looking at the hospital stay as a vacation!

    It's an adjustment, and a scary one, I remember, but it happens, try not to worry too much about it! Just try to include her in helping with the new baby anyway you can. She may not be interested but...GOOD LUCK!

  • when did you have your LO visit how long did they stay? 
    it was the next day.  I had R at 7:45pm and C stayed with Gramma that night.  She went to her usual activities that day (library storyhour ) and stayed with her aunts.  My husband picked her up and brought her to me with her big sister shirt on. 

    did you pack stuff for them to play with at the hospital, so they could hang out there? 

    We got her a Bitty Baby from from R that she named the same as her sister!  We also brought coloring books 


    How long did you stay at the hospital the second time -- I had a c/s so I had her on a Tuesday night and was supposed to go home on Sat. but I asked to leave on Friday.  Should have stayed that extra day, since I think I over did it when I got home.


  • Alaina was in the waiting room while Ben was born, and then she was able to see him get wheeled into the nursery.  While I was in recovery my mom stayed with her.  They left a bit after Ben was born then came back when I was settled in my room. 

    We had a gift for Alaina from Ben.  I can't remember what it was.. maybe some toy or coloring books?  Anyway, we had a bag that stayed at the hospital with us. It contained the portable dvd player, books, crayons, toys... everything to keep her busy.  I was in the hospital for 4 days so Alaina was there a lot.  She didn't mind though.  The nurses loved her and Michael and Alaina were always going to a walk. 

    Our transition when we got home went okay.  The 1st day was tough.  I think it was the inital shock of "wow this kid's really staying here.. .with us?"  The next day was fine.  I found that if I used her as a helper things went VERY smooth.  Till this day she still loves to help with him.

    Good Luck! 

     

  • when did you have your LO visit?
    I went into labor at 3 am, we took DS to daycare at 8, and went over to W&I.  DD was born at 1130.  My husband went to get our son at daycare after his nap (230) and brought him to the hospital. 

    how long did they stay? 
    DS had a little cough and it was last year during scary H1N1 paranoia.  So, he stayed maybe an hour.  He was bouncing off the walls and I was tired!  My husband took him home around 5.

    did you have them bring anything special with them, or have anything special with you at the hospital to give them from the baby?

    Yep, I had my son help me pick out a present for his sister.  He got her a travel sleep sheep.  Then, I had gotten a big brother book and a play doctor kit for my daughter to give to my son.

    how long did you stay at the hospital the second time -- two nights or just one, or longer? 

    I stayed both nights.  The nurses were exceptionally helpful and I got some sleep!

  • Let's see...

    DS was born on a Sunday morning at 9:49am, so DD came with my parents  around noon.  I'd say she probably stayed about an hour, maybe 2.  Now, keep in mind, she was 12 at the time so she could tolerate hanging out in a room without much to do!

    When DD2 was born, it was 7:55pm, so DS and DD1 didn't come visit until the next day around 12/1pm or so.  Visiting hours were very strict at W&I a year ago because of the H1N1 virus, but you don't have to worry about that which is great!   I had presents wrapped for each of the kids to open at the hospital.  They did not stay too long; maybe an hour if that.  It was a small room, and DS was only 2 at the time and not very conducive to sitting around looking at his new baby sister!

    I stayed two nights both times - but again, DS was born at 8pm, and there's no way I would have been ready to go home the next day!

    GOOD LUCK! Your feelings are perfectly normal, but just remember everything will be okay :)

  • Just reading everyone's comments and find it hilarious that noone really remembers anything! Which, I guess means that it wasn't that big of a deal!! 

    You'll do great! It's gonna be fine :)

  • when did you have your LO visit, and how long did they stay? My BIL picked Ben up from daycare and brought him up - he was there from probably about 5:30-8:30 or so, when DH actually brought him home. We didn't want to disrupt Ben so DH went home with him while I was at hospital with Maddy. He went to daycare the next day and Jerred came to the hospital for the day. 

    did you pack stuff for them to play with at the hospital, so they could hang out there? He had a few toys in his daycare bag, didn't bring anything particular since he had family to play with while there. 

    did you have them bring anything special with them, or have anything special with you at the hospital to give them from the baby? I had 2 little presents for him from the baby, little toys he could play with at the hospital (leap frog little phone and a mini doodle pro thing that he still loves). 

    and how long did you stay at the hospital the second time -- two nights or just one, or longer? I delivered around 5pm Wednesday and I was discharged at around 2pm Friday but Maddy wasn't discharged until around 8pm Friday night (she had been in NICU for 2 days for blood sugar issues). 

    And as for balancing life with two - believe it or not, all that guilt and fear you feel vanishes when your second little one arrives. Suddenly it all seems ok. Yes there are days when I felt bad that Ben had to wait for something, but in general I just tried to involve him in things by asking him to help bring me stuff, read books while I nursed maddy, etc. I was so nervous when I was pregnant that I wouldn't know how to love 2, etc. Now I cannot imagine my life without both of them! And I love them equally, they love each other. It's wonderful (and crazy and chaotic and insane) but I wouldn't trade it for the world!! 

    Wife, mom, attorney, blogger, runner - trying to learn to love all the good things in life!!
    "It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." - Alex & Ani bracelet
    My blog: Dodging Acorns
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