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HTT - Young marriages
My nephew (greg's biological nephew), is 18 and in the Navy. He's currently engaged to his 17 year old high school student girlfriend.
They're getting married in August (when she turns 18), because she can't live on base at 17.
Currently, at the age of 17, from what I can see. She spends all of her free time working, or hanging out with Greg's sister (future MIL). She even sleeps at his house on school nights.
Future MIL couldn't be happier over the arrangement and encourages it.
My heart breaks for the girl (secretly, I'm not going to be un supportive to them), that she's living her life for a boy. No decision she makes for the next 3-10 years will be for herself (this is my overall prediction on the span of the relationship). She's moving to Georgia to be with him, obviously putting school on hold, leaving friends and family....
Greg thinks that because she comes from a broken home (but from what I can see, the biggest brady bunch loving supportive broken home EVER), that this may actually be a decision for her.
I just have an overall sense of doom.
Please try to make me feel better about this decision.
I just feel terrible for this girl.
Re: HTT - Young marriages
Obviously the odds are entirely against them, and while I know that for me, I was an entirely different person at 17/18 than I was when I got married at 22 (which is still unfathomably young to some people, but that is something I do not wish to get into at this point), a girl from my high school got engaged at 17 and married shortly after her 18th birthday. Her husband is 4 years older than her (it was one of her sister's best friends) and in the Army, which is why they chose to get married right away (so she could live on base). They are actually doing wonderfully. They just had their first baby last summer.
I realize it's still too early to tell for that relationship, and for that one relationship that's making it there are a million others that don't.
Although 30 years ago was a different time, my mom was 17 when my parents got married and 3 days 18 when she had my brother, and they are still head over heels for each other. However, I do think it has made my mom a little weird, because she missed out on her crazy party years and she's trying to make up for it now in her late 40's. I wish she'd just be a mom/grandma.
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One couple from my graduating high school class got married the October after we graduated, and they're still doing amazing. A lot of the other ones that got married before H and I did [including some of my close friends] have either gotten divorced or are headed that way. I guess it just all depends.
I agree with Larissa - I think it depends on what kind of guy Greg's nephew is, and he seems like a good kid. I've found that those who think marriage is a constant fairytale - where love will get them through anything and that it'll be easy - fail, no matter the age. I don't think they're doomed, but they've got their work cut out for them [especially being a military couple - I'm still not handling being a military wife all that well, and I freaking grew up in the military]. I truly wish them the best but totally understand your concerns.
Greg's nephew, from what I can tell is an absolutely wonderful guy. I just need to stop over analyzing things. My degree concentration in Marriage & Family Relations makes me so cynical at times.
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I am, as a general rule, against marrying young. It can work, though. My cousin got married at 18 because she was pregnant. They were close to divorce around their 3rd year, I think mostly due to her dependence on her mother. But, they worked it out. She says that they didn't really love each other until after that. Now, they've been married almost 10 years and have their fourth baby on the way. It was a tough first few years, but they have a great marriage now.
You guys are making me feel so much better!
I hope it works out too, I'm definitely not wishing divorce on them.
I guess I'm just sad for her missed opportunities, but Greg keeps reminding me that this is opening her up to new opportunities otherwise not available.
I have heard it put this way... You either grow up together or you grow up and then find someone.... I think either can work.
What Larissa wrote makes sense to me.
I agree with Greg and you both on this.
Yes-statistics are completely against them, but the military has some great opportunities for people at their age, esp in this crappy economy.
I just hope they enjoy their young age. Can you see her getting pregnant soon? Now that would tie them definitely down.
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