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Should I have turned down this invite? (kinda long)
DH and I had a bunch of people over to our house to watch the super bowl. As the last guests were leaving, one woman invited me to a get-together at her house this weekend (she said something like "you should come...you can get the details from your SIL"). I said thanks and that it sounded like fun.
But I just found out that there were only 4 people invited initially, including the host, and I feel that I'm actually an awkward "fifth wheel" for this event (the 4 original girls are all the SOs of a group of 4 guys that have been close friends for years, and my SIL/BIL are one of these 4 couples). We've hung out with these couples a lot since SIL got married, but I can't get over the feeling that since I'm not part of the original 4 couples, I'm an outsider.
True, she did ask me to come...but was it more of a courtesy invite since we had her and her BF over, and should I have declined? I swear I overthink things like this way too much, but I can't help it!
The Fluffy Cat says... "Boxes are the best toys ever invented!"
Re: Should I have turned down this invite? (kinda long)
That 'newbie' feeling only lasts as long as you're the newbie. At some point, another person will be the newbie - and you'll have put in some effort to develop 4 good friendships.
I've also found that if I remind myself that I'm still developing my own history with an unfamiliar group, it helps. I can't expect to get 'inside' jokes b/c I wasn't there for them. But as long as I stick with it and give it a good chance, it won't be long before new 'inside jokes' develop and this time I'll have the history to know what they're about.
Thanks for the responses and advice! I know this weird/awkward feeling is mostly in my head, the other girls probably don't think anything of it... but it's hard to get past sometimes.
Now I just need to come up with an italian-themed appetizer to bring to this shindig. So far this is my front runner: Bacon Pops. Using basil and thyme makes it Italian, right?? (-=
The Fluffy Cat says... "Boxes are the best toys ever invented!"
BTW - I would be overanalyzing it the same way you are.
But still, go!