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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
A car? Maybe!
We might get some cheap little car from H to drive with some of our tax money. I am very happy about this bc then he can't b!tch at me for going places with the car! And I won't have to pick him up from work at 10pm on days I have places to go! AND he wont be able to hold it agaisnt me when he tried to argue with me. 
Re: A car? Maybe!
Or you could do what Trisha is doing with her tax refund and let your H figure out how to get his mean butt to work. The car you have is yours, right?
Not trying to be a Debbie Downer, I just think he's got some nerve to treat you so badly when he depends on you to take him everywhere.
I have my school refund money in my own separate account for that. The car we have now is registered under H?s name. I was kinda like a co-signer for that car (if that is the correct terminology). But it was "my" car before he totaled his.
I did finally talk to me dad about what has been going on. He said I could come stay with him at any time. The problem with that is he lives in Bradenton. So I have to do some research about any type of child care programs they have since I will still have to drive to St. Pete for school every day. I have learned I can?t really count on my mom for great advice. She just tells me to suck it up until I am out of school with a job. H did get me flowers for Valentine?s Day and my mom told me ?He does really love you, he is just odd.? I think some of that stuff contributes to why I feel kinda guilty about the whole thing. She did offer to pay for a lawyer if I needed one. I?m slowly getting things together I guess.
(ok that was kinda long. Sorry! lol)
I love my crazy child!
My Bio
That's great news! I actually think it's smart to get your H some wheels in preparation of what's in store for the two of you. By him having transportation will be one less worry for the both of you when (and if) you do in fact split up. It is in both your and Aiden's best interest for you H to have a way to work. He needs to be able to pay child support!!
But if you two do manage to work things out then him having a way around will be one less stress in your marriage!
Baby Macy is here!
12/09 - Macy (daughter) | 4/10 - Began TTC Baby #2 | 12/10 - Chemical Pregnancy | 1/12 - Miscarriage at 14 weeks | DX - PCOS & Hyperthyroidism
How much longer of school do you have?
Once you get the hurdle out of the way you will be soooo much better off. At the risk of sounding cheesy, I am so proud of you for roughing it out with school! School is not easy and I can only imagine how much harder it is with a kid and a stressful marriage. One day all your hard work will pay off!
Baby Macy is here!
12/09 - Macy (daughter) | 4/10 - Began TTC Baby #2 | 12/10 - Chemical Pregnancy | 1/12 - Miscarriage at 14 weeks | DX - PCOS & Hyperthyroidism
I will graduate in May 2012. And if I am lucky, I will be able to get a job for the next school year. I?m sure it will go by fast but it just seems so far away right now!
I love my crazy child!
My Bio
Boo about the car having his name one it. I guess Kathy is right that it's better if he has a car before you leave, if you decide to. That way he can keep his job and will be able to pay child support.
I'm really happy to hear that your dad is being supportive and that you are getting your ducks in a row just in case. Not putting down your mom, but some of her responses to your situation sound a little like sour grapes. Like she made bad decisions or dealt with a lot of crap in her day and thus expects you to suck it up just because she chose to. Don't let that kind of talk get you down!
There is absolutely no reason why you should have to stay married to someone who treats you like you're lower than dirt. Buying flowers for Valentine's Day does not magically make up for the way he treats you 99% of the time. If he loves you he obviously knows nothing about love because that is not how you treat someone you love.
I know I've said this before, but if there is ever anything I can do, please let me know. If I lived in Tampa, I'd be working on convincing you to move into our basement apartment so fast his head would spin. Keep your head up and know that there are a lot of people who care very much about you and Aiden!
I live just north of Bradenton and work in St. Pete, it's really not a bad drive. If you make the decision to leave and stay with your Dad and you ever need anything I'm seriously here for you. From race carpooling to Aiden playing with some puppies. Or even just hanging out.
Race PRs {5K-23:55} {10K-48:54} {15K-1:24:30} {13.1-1:53:39} {26.2-4:30:43}
Please start protecting yourself financially. I know you said you have a separate account, but is it at the same bank as all of your other accounts? Do you have security measures set up (like requiring a password for withdrawals) to prevent him from jeopardizing your account(s)? Make sure any beneficiary designations are in Aiden's name, only. Change your bank account address to your dad's house.
Start thinking about your own, individual credit, as well. Establish an individual credit card in your name at your dad's address. You don't have to ever use it, but at least you know you'll have it in an emergency.
As for the car, if you are going to leave him with the lesser of the two cars, then let his name be on the title. However, make sure that the funds that pay for that car come from a joint account so that you can later show (if necessary) that it was a marital asset from your joint tax refund. I would try to see if I could get the car you use now solely in your name. If it is paid for, then I would tell him that since he'll have the new car in his name, that you would like to have the old car in your name to boost your credit score. Or something. If he won't agree to that, don't worry - the courts will sort that out for you.
And seriously, if you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask. I know anyone would go out of their way to help you and Aiden be happy.
tehehehehe this made me giggle! I would have wanted to do the same!
1. I say get H a car so that he doesnt have to rely on you. If he has to continue to rely on you, he will use this a guilt trip to try to get you to stay, if you do indeed decide to leave.
2. Stay strong! You should be so proud of yourself that you are almost done school!
3. We are always here for you!!!
What great news. Having a second car in your situtation sounds like a really good thing. Also that is wonderful to hear your dad would let you stay with him.
Sting Shark and I saw him at the zoo with Liz and Aiden. I felt the same way.
Happily Married
The Plan Stan
Eat Well, Live Well, Be Well Blog
Sting Shark and I saw him at the zoo with Liz and Aiden. I felt the same way.
Happily Married
The Plan Stan
Eat Well, Live Well, Be Well Blog
A lot of the ladies have great advice. We are pulling for you!
And hopefully you can join us for pizza next Wed! Pizza makes it all better, haha. JK.
@ Change of pace: I don?t think my mom really does it on purpose, but I do think that just dealing with things is something she has done a lot in the past. She means well, but her responses really get me down sometimes.
@ Pinkwillow: It?s nice to know I would have someone in the area! How long is your drive to work?
@ Nicoleg: The money I have now is not in our regular bank. It goes into my school account/MasterCard (it?s a debit card not a credit card). The money I have in there, H can?t get. As far as our car goes, we are still making payments on it so I?m not sure how that would work out if I took it.
@ ragazza: I wanted to punch H in the jaw that day! Haha All I wanted was an afternoon to myself so I could get a few nice shirts to wear for my classroom hours. But He HAD to come along and was grumpy the whole time!
@ Lauren: Pizza DOES make everything better! Lol
@ Everyone else: Thank you for the support! I?m very thankful I have all you ladies to talk to about this!
I love my crazy child!
My Bio
40 minutes. I work very close to SPC also. The traffic is minimal and the view going over the Skyway is spectacular. I go over it 2x/day 5days/week so sometimes I have to remind myself to enjoy it! :-)
Race PRs {5K-23:55} {10K-48:54} {15K-1:24:30} {13.1-1:53:39} {26.2-4:30:43}