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Help: DH fear of flying
Good Morning Ladies, I hope you are having a delightful morning. I need some advise today. Here it goes...
My DH and I would like to travel; however, he is afraid of flying. He will only take one trip with me to Italy and that is it. He doesn't care to travel around the world. He wants children ASAP. I have no problem with having kids. We planned for 2012 to start on the baby machine. As I explained to him, I would like to take our children to China, or somewhere South America, or Europe at the ages of 5, 10 and 15. Disney is great but I would like to show our children the world and to appreciate what they have. Yes, there are other ways of doing these things.
Our 1st year anniversary is just around the corner. We have our flight and hotel stay for Italy; however, I am feeling horrible about this trip. I feel its my trip instead of ours, since he is just doing it for me. Its a 10 hour flight and I am feeling guilty about it. How can I ask of him to travel such a far distance for my pleasure?
I traveled so much as a child to my mother's country in Ecuador and My father's job was in the exporting industry so it was normal for me to take trips at least once a year. My DH was not so lucky. He only traveled in cars. In his 20's he flew to Punta Cana, DR and the plane drop so fast that it scared him to the point of this fear he has now.
Please give me the best advise you have to share with me. Vero
Re: Help: DH fear of flying
I HATE to fly. I have claustrophobia and just don't like to be in the air. However I've flown and I do it when I have to. What is it that he is afraid of?
I don't really have much advice except to say that maybe/hopefully on this trip to Italy he will realize that the flight isn't as bad as he had anticipated? Maybe he will realize that being in the foreign country is well worth the flight.
There are options to take something or some sort of pill to relax him percoset xanix or something.
I ditto Laurie in that I'd like to know what he's afraid of. Is it actual fear of the plane crashing, is it the claustrophia issue, or maybe just the fact that someone else (pilot) is in control?
I'm not a big fan of flying but as long as I'm occupied I can usually be okay once take-off is over. Lots of books/magazines/laptop to watch a movie/ipod/etc. Also like she said a lot of people get a prescription to calm their nerves while flying - my mom stocks up on vicodin every time she comes to visit me!
His fear is the whole plane: the idea of it, how it's made, the engines, In the flight, If it will fall, the no survival rate of some crashes, to crashes, lack of air in the cabinet, if the emergency door will open if we actually land in the ocean or river. I can go on and on.
You're lucky he agreed to go to Italy with you. Mike refuses to go,and that's the one place I want to see before I die since my grandparents came over from there. You are one step ahead.
Mike doesn't like to fly either. What helped him on our HM was the laptop to keep his mind off it and a few of those little bottles of whiskey. I wish I had better advice for you but this is all I know!
Good luck!
you guys have a long flight - perhaps some tylenol pm will help curb his anxiety?
italy is one of the most sensational places in the world to visit - we all do lots of things in our marriage that aren't our favorite things to do, out of love for our spouse. don't feel bad for asking him to do this - chances are you'll be doing things just as difficult for yourself personally at some point in your marriage.
as for feeling like you're in this on your own - the plane trip is the part he's anxious about - once you get past that and you're in italy...i think you'll find that he's much more involved and enjoying the festivities with you.
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I totally understand - It is a common joke amongst my friends and family about me flying! Like some of the pp, I will do it when it's required (mostly for work, and some for vacations), but I just.don't.like.doing.it!!!
For me, it was more or less the lack of control...but at the same time, I'm very much a "what will be, will be" person, whether I'm afraid of it or not. And as morbid as this may sound, I remind myself before I board a plane that if it's time for me to go, I'm going, so I may as well enjoy myself in the meantime :-)
Seriously, though - I actually got so worked up before my last flights that I actually looked up the actual science behind flying, which really comforted me in a strange way. I was surprised to learn that a plane can actually land safely WITH NO WORKING ENGINES! Something about the glide and thrust would still allow the plane to "float" or "glide"down, much the same way that bird do when they are not flapping their wings. As long as there is nothing else going on, it can still be done. I learned a lot of facts like that which at least helped me to make sense of it all. I truly wish you luck with this, as it certainly more a mental block, and it is very encouraging that he is willing to fly to Italy for just for you. Knowing what a total dislike of flying feels like, that demonstrates some serious love, girl!