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Leaving my job awkwardness
I told my supervisor yesterday that I will be leaving my job. She was a bit shocked and her jaw dropped when I told her my last day would be March 11 ("that's so soon"). I feel guilty about leaving and not being able to give more time, especially b/c we're entering a very busy time.
I haven't told all my co-workers yet. I've told a few allies who were supportive about it. I had to email the HR person to tell her. She's part of the problem that I've had working here. I emailed her yesterday and she hasn't responded. I was the only person here when she arrived (this morning) and she didn't stop by my office. I would have told her in person yesterday, but she wasn't in the office. Anyway, I just feel guilty and like she's mad at me. It's a very strange organization...only 1 person has willingly left since I've been here (over 3 years) and that was in the works for months. It just didn't work out like that for me, but it's not like I just gave 2 weeks notice either.
It's been a difficult few years here financially b/c of the economy, and I'm 1 of 2 people responsible for raising the money. We're already short staffed and starting a large fundraising project this year. I do realize that I'm leaving at a bad time...but I also feel like it's always going to be a bad time and I've been wanting to leave for a while.
Now I'm nervous about telling my other coworkers...that they're going to be pissed off that I'm leaving everyone in a lurch or something. I'm just sitting in my office at the end of the hall, trying to focus on the work I need to do now, but being distracted by how awkward I feel. I wish I was leaving sooner.
I mean, why can't a person respond and say, "Congrats" to your co-worker who just got a new opportunity. I just don't get it, and obviously it bothers me (though I *know* it shouldn't).
Re: Leaving my job awkwardness
I think it is a little strange that you expect HR to respond. Maybe she hadn't read the email yet? Maybe she just has nothing good to say about it, so she is choosing to not say anything at all.
You need to just move on with your life, and be happy for yourself. You want everyone to be happy for you but that isn't always the case. I would stop worrying about it. You are giving a long notice, and they really shouldn't expect more out of you than you are already giving them.
I too don't understand why you expect the HR person to respond. This is work. Shes not your buddy.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I'd ask your boss who is supposed to let your CWs know. Some of them have unwritten policies that the supervisor tells everyone, and some don't. If there isn't a policy, I'd agree that you just need to let people know.
Agree with the pps about HR. I wouldn't expect anything from them except *maybe* an acknowledgement that they received your resignation letter. As long as your boss knows and everything is moving along, I wouldn't worry about it.
I think giving over a month notice is more than enough time, and if some people have problems with it, it's really not an issue. Try not to take it personally. It may be cliche, but they did fine without you before you arrived, and they'll do fine when you leave.
GL and congrats on the new job.
Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
Don't drink the water.
Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
All of these responses make sense, but there are particular circumstances that make things different than how things would "normally" be in a normal organization. For example, my boss asked if I could negotiate leaving the new job for a few days once they've hired someone to come train them. Um...no, that would be weird. My contract clearly states that I'm to give a "minimum 2 week notice," which I did. I ended up offering to come in on the weekend b/c I don't want to leave on bad terms.
I've now told everyone and everyone has been mostly supportive, but with reactions of "Oh, that's so soon! That's not an ideal timeline for you to leave."
Re: the HR person. We are a small staff. HR is just one part of her job. We've worked closely together over the last 3-4 years in other capacities. We all go on retreats together. We're expected to recognize our inter-dependence and blah blah. Only 1 other person has left since I've been here (except for ppl with contract positions). Trust me, it's a big deal that anyone leaves. I agree that the org. will survive without any particular one of us, but ppl make it seem like such a big deal to leave, which makes me feel guilty. In these circumstances, I just think it's odd that you wouldn't acknowledge your co-worker is leaving. I think she's pissed b/c she sees it as sh***y that I'm leaving at this time.
It's like you're supposed to give your dying breathe to this organization and you're seen as a traitor to the "cause" we're working on. It's unhealthy, which is part of the reason I want to leave.
I think you're suffering from a perception problem, and a problem with a lot of contradictions.
Even if you've gone on retreats together, you've mentioned the HR person and you don't get along, so I wouldn't expect her to acknowledge in any meaningful way. And who cares if the things it's sh!tty you're leaving? You're leaving. I'd rather her say nothing than hear her be pissy.
And you've stated that people haven't really made that big deal out of you leaving, so I don't see any major reasons to feel guilty. You state that it's toxic, so it sounds like a great idea to leave.
Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
Don't drink the water.
Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
Even w/ your update, I think you're creating a lot of the awkwardness here.
I kind of find an irony here - you're upset that HR girl isn't making more of a deal out of it, but yet you say that other people make a BIG DEAL that people are leaving and it makes you feel bad..... uh, ok.
Maybe she's the most honest- she really doesn't care. The others may not care either, but they are doing the "dance" they've learned they are supposed to do and YOU expect.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I am not sure why you care about what everyone thinks so much.
Just because no one has ever DONE what you are doing or left so soon after giving notice doesn't mean it is wrong. IF you were working for a company that cared about you as a person, you probably wouldn't be leaving. So why does it all matter? Your situation might be different in your eyes, but it is only different because you think it has to be.
There is never a convenient time to leave, or a convenient time line to give an employer for your graceful exit.
They will get by without you, and I think it is unreasonable for them to expect you to take time off to come train someone else in and even more unreasonable to expect you to come back on weekends. What if something happened tomorrow, and you were not able to ever come back to work for them ever. What would they do? I do not wish you any ill will....I just think all of their expectations are very unrealistic and very demanding.
I agree with this and the previous post. I do care too much and I feel guilty and I internalize and dramatize it all in my head, which isn't helpful or healthy. I feel guilty about leaving at this time [which is ingrained in the atmosphere from how certain things function (or dysfunction) around here], and b/c of that, I was anxiously reading into HR person's response (lack of response). As a few days have passed, I'm starting to feel less guilty about leaving them short and more relieved to be leaving (which is how I originally felt when I got the offer).
We're about to start a big fundraising project this year that I was supposed to lead and have been the only person leading in the past. But, supervisor is coming up with a plan to hire someone to do that project while they look for replacement.
Most of the office (co-workers, non leadership) didn't act like it a big deal and were nice in wishing me well. It's the 3-person leadership team who've all expressed dismay at the short timeline or have been ignoring me since. I guess as long as I work things out with supervisor, that's what really matters.
I will probably come in on a weekend day, if needed to transition replacement, just so I can make sure to leave on good terms with supervisor. I've done a good job here and she'd be a great future reference, so it'd be a shame to leave a sour taste for her. She was not pleased with the timeline, but seems to be willing to work with me (despite taking take off from new job request). I do think it's somewhat unreasonable, but politically speaking, it's probably worth it in the long run.
thanks for the perspective.