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UGH!!
Okay, so, since I can't really rant to any people I know personally about this, you girls are going to get the brunt of it.
First, as stated before, one of my best friends found out before Christmas that her husband of three years was cheating on her, and that he had seemed to have lost interest in repairing anything, either. She is being crazy strong right now, and has already filed for divorce (luckily, all financial stuff was still seperate and no kids yet). I just feel so bad for her, because I could tell on Valentine's Day she was really hurting. I just don't understand how a man can lose interest in less tham four years...like REALLY???
Second, my boss/Jeff's uncle is currently starting to go through a seperation/divorce. I guess they had discussed doing this since October, but we didn't hear about it until a little before Christmas. So, things seemed to be going pretty civil, but all of a sudden Jeff's Grandpa (who is in the nursing home) has been asking all kinds of questions about what is going on out at his farm (which, we are cleaning up because it needed to be done) and about my boss & his wife. We had NO idea who had been informing him of all of this stuff, but now we know. It is boss's wife and her friend and her friends' parents. We are livid. Now, this old man is to the point where is pretty confused about things, and, honestly, this will most likely be his last year. We were trying to avoid telling him about the stuff going on out at the farm, because all it is going to do is upset the poor guy. Plus, they are trying to build a wedge in between boss & his dad. It seriously about makes me cry that they are doing that to Gramps. He is just the most AMAZING person and has done more for Jeff and I than I could have ever imagined. When I go to see him, I bring up the old stories he likes to talk about (and laugh about) and bring up how he likes to tease the nurses, etc. I want to make that guy happy and laugh when I am there. These people want to make him sit in his nursing home bed and DWELL on what is happening that he really cannot do anything about. To top it all off, I guess boss's wife has been bad-mouthing Jeff and I that we told all these people about all of what is going on, but we found out, again, through her friends' family..about EVERYTHING!
The worst part about all of this, is between Jeff wanting to be there for his uncle and Jeff wanting to be there for his grandpa...our personal time together has dropped majorly. I don't want to sound needy or not understanding of what he needs to do for his family, but I NEED some time with him, too! Ugh, sorry, I just and to rant.
K. /Rant.
Re: UGH!!
Such a sad situation all the way around :-(
It just seems like this is happening a lot lately, all over the place. My brother announced after 4 years of marriage to his second wife (they have two small kids together, the youngest is 3) that he didn't have feelings for her and that he wants a divorce. He has been having an affair with a co-worker as it turned out....
And just this Sunday coming, my BFF's and I (all were my BMs) are coming over to my house on Sunday for a "support " girls get together, because one of them is extremely concerned that her marriage of 10 years is unravelling. Seems her husband has taken to going away for 4-5 days at a time on "golf outings" out of state that she and her girls are not invited to come along to...so sad...
The best we can do is really be prayerful and do our best to maintain strong marriages, but even at that, sometimes factors beyond our control can creep in - even in seemingly strong marriages...And no, you are not being needy to want some of your H's attention and focus, even with all that is going on. That is really important to a relationship. I would gently try to remind him that even though there are tough times that are affecting his family, that you two are a team, and that you are in this together - and should be available to lean on each other for support.
Maybe then he may realize that he's been a little preoccupied, and can take steps to address it...good luck...
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::Hugs::
I'm sorry to hear you are going through all this. I think you are right by standing by Gramps and Unlce. But, you also deserve a little quality time with your hubby too. Maybe you and Jeff can have a date night or something this weekend where it's just the 2 of you.
Ugh, that totally sucks, it's so hard to watch people you care about go through this sort of stuff. I can't believe your bosses' wife is saying that stuff to grandpa. Unfortunately I don't think there is any such thing as a truly amicable divorce; it's got to be such an emotional time.
Hang in there, and feel free to vent here anytime you'd like.
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Yikes, I'm sorry.
It sounds to me like boss's wife is a crazy, vindictive bittch who is trying to get back at him by involving his elderly and in-ailing-health father. That's just horrible. I wish there was something I could say to help ease Grandpa's mind - but the only thing I can offer up is that this bittch WILL get her dose of karma.
In the meantime I'd go with the suggestion of reminding Jeff that while you can understand him wanting to be there for his family, you are his wife and it's equally important to have your time together and that he not shut you out. GL!
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