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Wake me up when it's over... vent... long
DH and I live in a house owned by his parents (in FL). They live full-time in their house in WV, but come down here a few times a year. They usually come in January/February for their longest stay- a few weeks, and the year before last I was told 2 weeks and they stayed for 3 months. We pay rent, but not a large amount (this house is paid off- their other one is not). DH mows the lawn and does all the yard work and maintains their boat. We have also done a lot of work on the house (painting, putting in new floors). Every year around this time I want to move out (I have been living here 3 years)- but it is hard because DH has a student loan from Sallie Mae for like 60K that they charge him 18% interest on to the tune of $900/month payment- which could be rent for our own place! With that, he has no money to contribute to rent. I can't afford rent on my salary alone without it being really really really tight. (I will take suggestions as to the loan, anyone? DH credit and mine suck, so he doesn't think he can refinance).
His parents treat this like their house, period. It does not matter that we are adults that live here year-round and pay rent- it is not much- but it is how much they asked for! DH did not pay anything before I moved in. They don't ask when they can come down, they come down when they want, stay for however long they want, bring their big dog (I already have two small dogs and it is a small 2 bedroom house), and do what they want with the house while they are here, including having house guests stay on our back patio for a week at at time- people that I don't know- again- without asking. I guess they don't feel they need to ask, because it is "their house". I see their point, but I don't think they see it from my view- your landlord would not come stay at your house with you and do as they please, right? I just wish they treated coming to stay with us as if they were guests in our home- even though they own it. They charge us 50% of normal rent when they stay here for the long period.
They do other things that really aggravate me, but I never say anything because I don't want to fight with DH parents. I don't have a level of "comfort" with them. For example, today, I came home and they are gone- all the windows are open and the back door is unlocked AND the conditioner is set to 70 degrees and ON. WTF? Does it not make sense to turn the air OFF if the windows are open? That is cash flying out the window! And everything I own is in this house, including my dog who is like my daughter. I would probably never forgive them if she was stolen. This is not the first time either. I ask DH to talk to them last time and he said he did, but he doesn't think it's that big a deal because we live in a "good" neighborhood. Why risk it though? I am home a lot and at least once a week a stranger knocks on the door- a Jehovah's witness, a lawn maintenance person giving their business card, a cable guy from a different company, etc. Although they might not have set out to rob out house, seeing that the window/doors are open, they might be the kind of person to be tempted and say what the heck, why not?!
F-I-L also throws "temper tantrums" that make me uncomfortable to even be here sometimes. Also today, one of the dogs was on the couch. I guess he doesn't want the dog on the couch. They always used to let their dog on the couch (who I'm allergic to), so I started asking their dog to stay off the couch. I guess they decided they don't want any dogs on the couch now- mine doesn't shed, but whatever, fine- it is their couch (all the other furniture is mine). Instead of saying something to me, he stomps to his bedroom and slams the door. DH calls me later to say to keep the dog off the couch.
I hear they are going to be here at least another month! Ahhhhh! What to do?
Re: Wake me up when it's over... vent... long
wow.
Were they visiting your husband like this before you moved in? It seems as if a precedent has been set and it is well past time for it to expire.
I don't think you should be the one to talk to your in-laws. Talk with your husband regarding this and have him talk to his parents. (If it was your parents doing this, I would suggest you talk with them.) He needs to stand up to them, instead of relaying messages back and forth.
You really should look into re-financing the student loans. They prey on people like that... they make it super easy to get the money and penalize you like hell for accepting it. If you could cut that payment down, even slightly, I am sure it could make a huge difference for you.
I would also look into drawing up a lease agreement if you decide to stay in the house. That way, you have something to fall back on. Set guidelines pertaining to visits. Change the locks. Make the sun porch a little un-inviting. Get a new couch.
Good luck!
Yeah, I'm screwed. DH sees their point of view more than mine. He says this is their "vacation home", so we have to expect them to come when they want a vacation and bring friends. Also, we got a couple months behind in rent because of the wedding, so he doesn't feel like we can say anything. Arg! He says to just suck it up for the 2 months and enjoy the next 10 months.
Kristi- I have couches in a storage unit. I would be happy to use them, but they want THEIR couches here because they want to use them when they are here. I am going to buy a couch cover this weekend!