Family Matters
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I am needing peace of mind....

  I for some reason am having this overwhelming fear of dying.  It started last night around 3am when I couldn't sleep. I don't know why I started to think about this but I was getting sweaty and I just couldn't get my mind off of this.  It jut clicked in my mind that one day I won't be here and I my children will be here without me and it is just to much for me to handle.  I want to so much believe there is something after this life and that is heaven.  If I stay busy I don't think about it but when the kids are asleep and I am alone it just takes over me.  I can't talk to my family about this, they all have so much going on. So I am putting this out to others who don't know me in some way will be able to give me peace of mind.  I know there isn't anything I can do to keep this from happening, hopefully not for a very very long time.  I can't handle knowing that some day I won't be here on earth and my kids will have to go on without me.  I hope this is some sort of phase I'm going through.  I know living in fear about something I have no control over is no way to live.  I am just so scared and I don't want to feel this way.  How do I change how I am feeling?

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Re: I am needing peace of mind....

  • Do you belong to a church?  If so you could talk to a pastor.  Otherwise consider seeing a therapist or trying out churches in your area.
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  • Wow, I always thought I was the only one that did this. I have had it happen on and off since I was a kid. For some reason it slowed down some after a close relative passed when I was in high school.. not sure why really. It usually happens right before I am going to fall asleep.

     I usually just try to take deep slow breaths and calm myself down, mainly because I know the faster I can fall asleep the faster it will be over. I wish I could be more help, but at least know you are not alone.  

     

  • Are you in a period where you're questioning your faith?  Maybe you need to find some answers to help ease your mind.

    Or, maybe it's just stress and anxiety and that's your way of 'dealing' with it.

    I think it happens to a lot of people  because our lives are so busy, that's the only time we have silence to really think. 

    Regardless, your questions and concerns are pretty normal, if that helps.

    imageVisit The Nest! Love to scrapbook!
  • "Noone Here Get's Out Alive"

    My father died a few years ago.

    Was I sad? Of course. 

    I still miss him. 

    however, it was 'his time'.  He knew it. I knew it.... everybody knew it.

    He was 86 years old and lived his life to the fullest.

    No regrets, no burned bridges.  I can only hope for such an existence.

    Here's the thing.... you're going to grow old and make mistakes with your kids.

    However the love that you show will overcome any of those petty mistakes.

    Let's say... worst case, you only have a few years with them..........................  (and you don't, you have much, much longer.... so 'snap out of it')  the time that you spend as a quality parent will stay with them forever.

    Please, try not to worry about what you can't change. 

    I think there's something better ahead after this existence.....( I'm not sure what it is but I'm pretty sure it involves chicken wings.)

    so.... play the odds, live clean, wear your seatbelt..... don't vacation in Somalia.

    you'll be fine.  best of luck

  • What you are describing is an anxiety disorder and/or a panic attacks. You have some great pharmaceutical options like Zanax and Lexipro. You can make an appointment with your GP - general practioner doctor. Honestly, you have many options.

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • You all gave some great advice.  It is the unknown that worries me so much.  It is very strange that I worry about how my kids are going to be when I am gone. I don't want them to feel any heartache.  I guess there is a big part of me that is already feeling guilty about not being there for them when I am gone. Just to even begin thinking about not being right here with them and holding them just breaks my heart.  If I could turn this off in my head I would.  I hate that I can't control when it will be "my time" to go.  I know I am going to have to do something to make this ok for me and I think I am going to start by finding a church I like.  Another issue for me is I really don't think I am good enough to go to heaven.  It is hard for me to think there is a special place up there for me when I don't really do anything extra special for this world outside of taking care of my family.  Deep breath, Deep breath!
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  • I agree that it might be worth trying some anti-anxiety meds.

    Also, I have read some books on near death experiences. They gave me some comfort. Of course, that all depends on your views and beliefs about that stuff but I found it reassuring and helped me believe that our souls do go on after our body dies.

    l'm sorry you're dealing with this. 

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  • I agree with pp. Sounds like you have some anxiety/depression going on and should talk to your doctor. Best of luck!
  • Shake and Bake. I couldnt have said it better myself!!!!!!!

     

  • If these episodes continue and interfere with your functioning, then I would say you might want to talk to someone about your anxiety...but this sounds like a new thing for you...

    me, I've always worried about this and for some reason, Sunday night I can barely fall asleep because I'm paralyzed with fear about it all.

    Faith helps, believing there is something beyond this, I hope "they're" right

    One of my worries was, i couldn't imagine "not being"...and a friend said to me "where was Jenn during the civil war" and I shrugged my shoulders...and he said "you didn't exist, and that's okay" and that just made a lot of sense to me.

  • imagetoots1527:  Another issue for me is I really don't think I am good enough to go to heaven. 

    I've felt that way before.  I truly believe I'll go to Heaven when I die, but the unknowns of how and when definitely freak me out at times.  I think it's normal so long as it's not constant or debilitating to you.

    I did want to comment on the toots quote above though.  The idea that you have to be "good enough to get into heaven is illogical and not worth worrying about.  No one is perfect, therefore no one is "good enough" to go to heaven, so that can't be the criteria used to decide who gets in.  I feel compelled to tell you that my faith is that belief in Jesus' death burial and resurrection is the way to Heaven. 

     

  • To clariy I wasn't trying to say that "toots" concerns were wrong, just hoping that the way I viewed it might offer some comfort.  I just re-read what I posted, and I didn't mean to sound rude at all.
  • imagePwincessBride:

    imagetoots1527:

      Another issue for me is I really don't think I am good enough to go to heaven. 
    I feel compelled to tell you that my faith is that belief in Jesus' death burial and resurrection is the way to Heaven. 

     

    Oh please--next time fight your compulsion if you can.

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  • I really thought talking about this would make things worse and I would be looked at like I am crazy.  That hasn't been the case though.  I've been getting a lot of different opinions and it helps to see this through others point of view.  I talked to my husband about this and even though he didn't have any earth shattering advice for me, it helped to just let the words and feelings come out of my mouth.  In a strange why I feel like God wanted me to have these feelings so I could see how precious my life I have is.  I am seeing things in such a different way.  When I look at my son and daughter I really see a gift from God and I feel so loved.  I am still scared but I am just taking one day at a time.  Thanks for listening and taking time to give me your thoughts!
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